


Secretly Dating

by reader_chic_2



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A little angst, Anal Sex, Big Gay Love Story, Bottom Louis, Closeted Louis, Descriptive Sex, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Football Player Louis, Gay, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Kinky sex, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Make Up, Oral Sex, Photographer Harry, Sneaking Around, Spanking, Theater - Freeform, Top Harry, only a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:27:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 43,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25916584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reader_chic_2/pseuds/reader_chic_2
Summary: Lottie groaned, looming over Louis with a glare. “If we’re late, Mum and Dad will never let Harry see me – ie. see you.”It was the first time they openly addressed the fact that Harry saw more of Louis than Lottie on their supposed ‘dates.’ He supposed he knew as much, but it still startled him. “You’ve been setting us up!”Lottie snorted, cocking out her hip and brushing her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Honestly, Harry. You’re so dense. To be fair, it was at Louis’ request.”Louis’ mouth gaped like a fish as he jumped to standing position, wobbling only slightly. “Don’t sell me out!”Lottie rolled her eyes. “Come on lovebirds.”. . .Or the one where Harry pretends to date Lottie so he can hang out with her brother behind the backs of their homophobic parents and issues eventually arise.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Lottie Tomlinson
Comments: 13
Kudos: 159





	1. The Start

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I hope you enjoy this story! 
> 
> Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. I am not saying anything about the real-life people of One Direction or their families. I am just writing a fictional fantasy that is not related to the real people.
> 
> FYI: I am American, so my British slang may be slightly off. Sorry! I do try to use it because I like it. Also, we have high schools here, and after years in this fandom, I still cannot figure our England's schooling system format, lol. Sorry! There could be scenes that you'd only find in American high schools idk but yeah.
> 
> I made Jay Tomlinson bad. I feel horrible because we all know she was actually the best. This says absolutely NOTHING about the real Jay Tomlinson. This says nothing about any of these real life people because it was all fictional in my head, but specifically Jay. It was just necessary to the story. Forgive me.
> 
> Finally, this is only briefly edited by me, so I hope there are not many grammar mistakes, but there could be. Sorry!
> 
> Now please enjoy :)

Harry definitely shouldn’t have been there. 

The Tomlinson house was full of chaotic children crashing into walls, people, and objects. It was a madhouse, but that wasn’t the scary part. The scary part was that Louis Tomlinson lived there. Louis Tomlinson was the captain of the football team, which already made him legendary in Harry’s eyes. More importantly, he was the lead actor in the school’s Peter Pan play, making Harry hate himself eternally for playing Hooke and trying to kill him. 

They’d only spoken minimally during the production of the school play. Harry tried to become closer than acquaintances, but his one and only move of cracking one of his knock-knock jokes only resulted in Louis looking at him with glazed over, mystified eyes before he walked away laughing under his breath. 

At their final performance, Harry escaped from his adoring family to try and compliment Louis on his great performance. He’d brought the crowd to tears at times. When he finally found the boy dressed in green leggings that were so distracting Harry had stumbled over his lines multiple times, he was confused to find only a girl by his side. 

“Hey, Louis,” Harry said, voice coming out a little rough from overuse. Louis turned from the blonde girl, wide grin growing bigger. 

“Harold,” Louis said, hint of a smile playing at his perfectly thin, curved lips. 

“I, uh, just wanted to say you did a great job tonight. You’re really perfect for Peter Pan, even if you’re technically a jock.” Harry was serious as he said his words, but the duo took in a teasing manner. The girl had a proud glint in her eyes as she looked at Louis. Harry couldn’t tell if she was his girlfriend or not. She was taller than Louis, but someone like Louis probably wasn’t deterred by such a thing. 

“Well, you did great too, especially since you’re normally the world’s slowest speaker.” Louis’ eyes flashed their brilliant shade of blue, making Harry swallow deeply. He was a beautiful human being. The makeup lining his eyes was completely unnecessary, but the shimmer on his prominent, tempting cheekbones complimented the glitter floating through his windswept, wild hair. 

“Hi!” The girl pushed past Louis and stuck out her hand. “Since my brother is too distracted, I thought I’d introduce myself. Lottie Tomlinson. You’re Harry, right? I think you’re in my world history class.”

That was his sister. Harry exhaled a shaky breath, finding his concerns fading away quickly. “I think so,” he said, though he had no idea. He was normally struggling to stay awake in that class. “I really have no idea what I’m doing in that class, to be honest.”

Louis snorted loudly, making Harry blush sheepishly. Lottie frowned. “Oh. Well, if you want to work on our projects together, I’m always down to help. It’s the one subject that makes sense to me.”

Harry’s eyes went wide. “We have a project in that class?”

Again, Louis burst out into laughter, falling into Harry and clutching his arm for support. Harry was decently sure his blood stopped moving. 

“Oh dear,” Lottie pouted, eyes attaching to the way Louis held onto Harry still. Harry understood her disbelief; he was feeling the same way. “Here’s my number. Why don’t you come over sometime to work on it with me? Louis may try to annoy us-,”

“I absolutely will.”

“-along with our younger siblings, but it’s due in a week, so you’ll need some help. No offense.” Lottie finished with a hopeful smile, batting her eyelashes up at Harry. He couldn’t tell if she was trying to flirt with him or simply persuade him to say yes, but it worried Harry. Then again, it would be very presumptuous and bold to say ‘hey, I’m into your brother actually’ so Harry refrained. 

“Um, okay…”

“Perfect!” Lottie pulled out a pen and wrote her number on his arm. “Tomorrow?” Harry opened his mouth to respond, but Lottie beat him to it with a clap of her hands. “Awesome! We’ll see you then!”

“Okay.” Harry frowned, glancing at Louis to see him staring back at him with an embarrassed smile. “Well, I’ve got to get back to my family. Um, great job again, Louis.”

“Bye Harold,” Louis said in a sing-song voice, turning to shove Lottie in a teasing manner as Harry walked away. He was the king of impish grins that were sleek enough to send Harry’s heart into an irregular beat.

So that was how Harry found himself standing on the doorstep of the Tomlinson household with sweaty palms. The sounds of screaming children could be heard outside despite the closed door, making Harry slightly nervous. When the door swung open, Harry was relieved it wasn’t Louis. Instead, a woman with his exact eyes and darker brown hair smiled at him. 

“You must be Harry! I’m Jay Tomlinson,” she said, offering out her hand to shake, which Harry found odd but shook nevertheless. “We’re so excited to meet you! Lottie didn’t tell us she’s been seeing someone until last night.”

Harry’s mouth fell open, but he was too shocked to respond before Lottie came barreling down the stairs behind the woman. “Mum, please,” Lottie said in a whine. “We’ll be in the basement working on a project.”

Jay narrowed her eyes at her daughter. “Would you like to tell Harry the house rules, missy?”

Lottie heaved a large groan. “Louis’ already down there. I know, I know. We can’t be left alone. Stop worrying! Let’s go, Harry.”

Jay smiled tersely. “Make yourself at home, Harry.”

“Uh, thanks?” Harry mumbled as Lottie gripped his wrist and pulled him through the house. They passed two toddlers throwing blocks at each other in the living room and a girl around the age of 12 yelling at them to stop blocking the television. Thankfully, the basement was quieter. There was a muffled sound of a romance movie playing on the television, but it was at a low volume. Louis sat on the couch, watching the movie idly, like he wasn’t truly all that interested in it. 

“Mum thinks you’re dating him?” Louis asked, craning his neck to look at them coming down the stairs. Lottie snickered, jumping on the end of the couch where loads of books sat. “Figures. You’re lucky Harry didn’t give himself away. Should have warned him.”

“Warned me?” Harry asked, confusingly sitting on the corner piece of the couch. Louis’ outstretched feet were covered by fluffy green socks. It was fitting and reminded him of the leggings he wore the night prior. He wished he wore them now, but it was probably best he didn’t. There would be no way he’d get any work done with those distracting thighs and bum shoved in his face. 

Louis rolled his eyes, sitting up on his elbows and glancing at the stairs. “I closed the door,” Lottie said. 

“Good,” Louis said, looking back at Harry with an impish look. “Warned you not to dress in your usual flamboyant manner.”

“Flamboyant?” Harry scoffed with a heated face. 

“You’re obviously gay,” Louis said, as he were reporting the weather. “Am I wrong?”

Harry brushed a hand through his curls, wishing he’d tamed them more. “I, uh, don’t really label it.”

“Exactly.” Louis had a smug, pleased smile on his lips. It shouldn’t have made Harry happy that he’d been able to notice – Harry never tried or tried not to form an image of open-sexuality for himself, but he was glad Louis could tell. “Our parents are extremely conservative, which is our kinder way of saying homophobic.”

Harry’s eyes went wide. “I-,”

Lottie waved a hand. “Don’t scare him, Louis. Mum’s too busy with the twins to think much about it. And dad’s working.”

“And you also let her think Harry’s ‘courting you,’” Louis said with a sneer. His eyes caught Harry’s, and the ridiculousness of the idea passed between them. “They’re very old-fashioned.”

“That’s…wow.” Harry frowned. “Um, but you guys aren’t…?”

Instantly, Lottie and Louis burst into laughter. “Homophobic? God no! Fuck, Harry, have you even met-,”

Louis cleared his throat suddenly, throwing a pillow at Lottie. “Definitely not. Now get to work, Lottie. I’m showing Harry the best version of Romeo and Juliet after this, so hurry up.”

Harry blinked. He wasn’t aware of that. He wasn’t aware he and Louis were close enough to hang out without a reason. That was something friends did. Louis had friends. He had half the football team, half their female class, and Zayn, who’d played one of the lost boys and smoked with Louis after every rehearsal, for friends. Harry wasn’t one of them. 

Harry had his own friends – Niall and Liam. They hung out more often than not. He also had a few friends that knew Louis well, like Kendell and Camille. They were considered to be more ‘popular’ than Harry. Though Harry didn’t go unnoticed, he was generally in the theater/hipster crowd that could generally talk to anyone but never hung out more than that. Niall said he was semi-popular. Niall and Liam both played on the football team, so they had loads of friends, but none as close as the three of them.

Either way, Louis and Harry weren’t friends. They’d never even spoken about Shakespeare, but Louis somehow knew he’d be interested anyways. It was probably an actor-assumption. While Harry liked most plays, he would have been excited regardless of what Louis wanted to watch. 

The project was more detailed than Harry would have liked. Lottie made history more interesting, though, so it was a little easier to catch up. They had different battles to present on, but Lottie helped him design the presentation and find credible research in a timely manner. It took hours, but by the time she called it quits, they had half their projects completed.

“Sorry. I have to do someone’s make up for a dance recital tonight,” Lottie said, hurrying to clean up her books. “Thanks for coming over, Harry. It was really helpful.”

Harry couldn’t fathom how he’d helped her. If anything, he’d delayed her process, but he didn’t point that out. Louis clapped his hands, turning off Grease and sitting up on the couch. “Perfect! Now I can have my way with Hazza!”

There was a dubious, dangerous grin on his face. It made Harry’s stomach tighten. Lottie snickered as she ran up the stairs, slamming the door on the way out. Harry turned to Louis, meaning to question what he meant exactly, but then Louis’ feet were in his face. 

“Oh, that reeks!” Harry cackled, forcefully shoving his feet toward the floor. Louis rolled dramatically to the floor, staring at the ceiling as if he was slowly dying.

“You finally got me, Captain Hooke.” Louis spoke in a whisper of despair. “Don’t let me die alone, Cap. Surely you must have an ounce of pity in that cold chest of yours.”

His sudden acting was shocking, completely improvised and spot on. Harry struggled to catch up. He jumped to his feet, standing on either side of Louis’ hips as he stared down at the tan boy beneath him. “It’s what you get, Peter Pan! If you’d let yourself grow up, you’d have a family to die alongside!”

Louis pouted, blue eyes challenging his own green ones. “Yeah? Well not all family is good for you, Captain! Sometimes you’ve got to make your own – like my lost boys!”

His words came out in a low, challenging voice that chilled Harry’s core. He meant them, more than just in Peter’s character. Louis meant them. Something inside him meant them, but it was too much for Harry to bear, so he fell to his knees and trapped Louis’ pixie-like face between his forearms on the carpet. 

“I don’t see them here to save you now,” Harry said, voice raspy and low as he spoke. Louis’ chest was moving rapidly as he took deep breaths, but his eyes stayed glued to Harry’s.

“Am I need of saving?” Louis questioned, eyebrow raising. “You gonna hurt me, Haz?”

He broke character, but then again, Harry felt he’d broken it the moment he fell on top of Louis. He didn’t know what he was doing. He wasn’t being bold – he never could be bold with Louis. He just did the next thing that came naturally to him, so he smirked and said, “Depends. Do you like a little pain?”

Louis’ pupils widened, and his tongue shot out to lick his lips. “Maybe I do.”

Harry’s heart jumped, making his head swim. Louis was flirting. He had to be flirting. Harry inched closer, eyes flicking to his lips, wanting desperately to taste them. He’d always had a thing for the jock, but there was never any reason to think his feelings could ever be reciprocated. The only tale of Louis being interested in men at all was his participation in the theater, but those were all stereotypical assumptions that Harry refused to encourage. Besides, every other sign pointed to him being strictly straight – football, hanging off all the girls, going to every party, gossip surrounding him snogging a bird in every corner of the school. 

But here they were. Louis’ hands winding around his neck, tugging him closer, forcing their bodies to fit firmly against each other. He was warm to the touch, and his breath tickled Harry’s nose. 

“Louis! Why were Lottie’s leggings on your floor?”

Louis moved immediately, pushing Harry off him and scrambling to his feet. Harry’ head hit the coffee table, making him groan as he picked himself up. Jay got to the bottom of the stairs and held up the green leggings Louis had worn last night. 

“Oh, um, I dunno. I think she wanted my opinion between that and another color and tried them on in the closet. Must have left them somewhere,” Louis said in a haste, sitting on the back of the couch as fluidly as he could manage. 

“Oh. Okay,” Jay said, and when she glanced as Harry, she smiled warmly. “Can’t have Harry thinking we’re a family of cross-dressers.” Jay laughed, like the joke was hilarious, and Louis chuckled along. Harry nervously smiled, but his stomach ached more than his own head. “What are you boys up to? Lottie left, didn’t she?”

Louis nodded, jumping over the back of the couch to land on his back. “Just hanging out.”

“Sounds fun! Let me know if you need any snacks or anything. I’ll keep the babes away so you can chatter on about birds or whatever it is you kids do these days,” Jay said, offering them a mirth-filled smile before marching up the stairs in a pleased manner. 

When the door shut, Harry felt like he could breathe again. “Oh my god,” Louis said, yanking Harry onto the couch and examining the red mark on his forehead. “I’m so sorry, Harry.”

Normally, Harry would take coddling from his cute, concerned crush, but right now all he could feel was dread. “No, I’m sorry. That was awful.”

“Oh, Mum? Yeah, she’s very presumptuous,” Louis said with a sardonic laugh. It made Harry frown.

“No. I meant the comment about cross-dressing,” Harry said, hugging his arms around himself as Louis sat back on his knees. “I thought she’d be the ‘secretly homophobic’ types, not the kind that openly makes it clear to anyone she meets.”

Louis laughed. “I mean, is that technically homophobic, though? I’d never wear those out in public either. Would be a little silly.”

It was like the perfect bubble they’d been floating in had popped, and all the gas inside had been poison that began to choke Harry. “I would.” It was mumbled, but Louis definitely heard. He looked like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. It only made his comment hurt worse. “Half my ‘flamboyant’ clothes are meant for women. I like things that I like, and if it makes me happy, I don’t think it’s that silly.”

Louis’ eyes fell, like he’d accidentally stabbed Harry. It kind of felt like he did. “Harry. That’s not what I-,”

Harry pushed himself to his feet. “It’s okay. You can show me the movie another time, yeah?”

Louis protested, trying to apologize, but he didn’t seem able to formulate a sentence. Harry left with a stiff hug to Jay, unable to be openly impolite, even if her touch left him feeling gross. Louis left him feeling gross. He didn’t quite understand what happened, but he did know Louis looked down at the idea of cross-dressing, something Harry sometimes sort of did. It was somewhat embarrassing, but it was mostly disappointing. 

. . .

Harry decided to paint his nails pink and blue that weekend, and when he went to school Monday morning, he wore a pearl necklace over his pink fitted shirt. At lunch, Harry caught Louis’ eyes momentarily before turning his head. 

“How can you manage to look put together on a Monday morning?” Niall whined, letting his head fall against the table. The lunchroom was busy, full of people gathering as much food into their mouths as possible. Liam slammed a tray down beside Harry and hunched over with a similar look of dread. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Harry asked.

“They’re having soup. Soup.” Liam deadpanned, looking at Niall and Harry like they were supposed to understand. “Meaning the only silverware out are spoons!”

Harry stared at him, trying to find the broken part of Liam’s brain that caused him to be fearful of spoons. Niall and he often tried this, but it never resulted in anything. Niall often teased him about it when conversation turned boring. He was just about throw three right at Liam when a shadow fell across his face. All three boys looked up to find Lottie Tomlinson smiling down at them. 

“Hey, Harry. I heard-,”

“You’re one of those girls!” Niall said, eyes growing wide as he realized words had genuinely flowed out of his mouth. Lottie looked at him with a cautious smile and raised eyebrow. “Sorry. Just, uh, you beat Liam and me at beer pong two weeks ago, and we’re kind of undefeated.”

Lottie smirked, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “You were. Not anymore. You’re welcome.”

“He hasn’t shut up about your ‘blonde voodoo superpowers’ since then,” Liam said, eyes excited at the opportunity to distract from the spoons. It made Lottie laugh, and so did Harry just thinking what her mother’s reaction to that would be. “We’d love a rematch at the next party. Who was your partner, out of curiosity?”

“Sophia,” Lottie said, turning to Harry and taking a seat beside him. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Harry said, looking at her curiously. He never fully understood the purpose of inviting him over the other night, so coming to visit him during lunch wasn’t any more clarifying.

“So I heard my brother was an arse to you.” Lottie propped her head on her arm, which was resting against the table. Her eyes were poutful. “I’m sorry. Can we still be friends?”

Harry frowned at her curiously. “He wasn’t a total arse. I got, er, upset, but it’s not a big deal. We can be friends, yeah.”

Lottie grinned, ruffling his curls, which made them wild enough Harry had to shake his head out to get them out of his eyes. “Perfect! Let’s hang out sometime. Go shopping or something. I like your style.”

At this, Harry relaxed. She never completely clarified her stance of what she was reaching out to him for, but most birds didn’t make a move on a guy they fancied by asking to go shopping with him. He learned that with Kendell for the fleeting moment he thought he had a thing for her. He wasn’t crushed in the least when she said they worked better as friends. 

“Thank you.” Harry beamed. A compliment from Lottie about style was a big one. She had her hair and make-up done every day, and her outfits ranged from grungy to fashionista. “Absolutely. I’ve been needing more shirts to go with these pearls.”

Lottie crinkled her nose, patting his shoulder sympathetically. Her eyes surveyed him before she said, “You do. Louis won’t stop obsessing over your outfit, but I will be the first to say your shirt looks like Kate Middleton is wearing it, and as much as I love her, you surely aren’t going for that old-classy look with those ripped black jeggings. I think a cute pink graphic tee would really make the pearls pop while maintaining the grungy look and challenging gender norms!”

A rush of emotion went through his body. Harry liked her advice. She would be much better to shop with than Kendell, who bought everything she found at first sight and let her sisters create the outfits. Kendell never had advice for Harry. 

“That’s a good idea.” Harry said, hoping his next words weren’t too obvious. “So, Louis noticed my outfit? I may or may not have picked it out in spite of him.”

He offered her one of his widest grins, and it made Lottie reciprocate it with equal excitement. “I’ll tell him you said that.”

Harry’s smile fell off his face. “What? No!” It was too late. She pressed a kiss to his cheek and darted off toward her usual group of friends. Louis was lying with his head in Zayn’s lap, legs propped on the table. When Lottie bent down and whispered into his ear, his entire body tensed and jumped into a seated position, head turning in Harry’s direction. Harry quickly looked back at Liam as he sipped at the bowl of thick soup, spoon forgotten. 

“What was that about?” Niall asked with a piece of bread in his mouth. “Since when did you know Lottie Tomlinson?”

“I have many friends.” Harry defended himself, but it made everyone chuckle. He knew many people, mainly from hanging out with Kendell or when he was dragged to parties, but he was only close with a select few. 

“Friends, eh? She kissed you on the cheek.” Niall pointed out in a moping manner. 

“Just friends,” Harry said, hands up in surrender. “Why are you still frowning?”

“Because he’s been obsessed with her since she killed us in beer pong,” Liam said, licking at the trailing soup running down his chin. “It’s pathetic, but it’s funny.”

Niall groaned. “I wish I had a class with her.”

“She wants to go to the mall sometime. You could come with us.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely.”

. . .

When Harry told Lottie that Niall required their help for a fashion emergency, she insisted on bringing along Louis. She claimed if Niall was getting a fashion make over, then so was Louis. Harry only agreed if Louis would try on whatever he picked. Honestly, he only said that because he was sure Louis would say no and decide not to go, but to his surprise, Niall and he met the Tomlinson pair slipping slushies at the mall.

“Alright, listen here, Styles.” Louis walked to him immediately, wrapping an arm misshapenly around his shoulders due to his lack of height compared to Harry. He didn’t let it deter him. “I get that you have to get me back for insulting you – which was an honest, stupid-,”

“Close-minded,” Harry said with a cough, enticing Louis to glare at him, but he let the word stay nevertheless.

“-close-minded comment – but I’m asking for your mercy. You may look good in tutus and tiaras, but I won’t.”

Harry hummed, tucking a stray curl back into the bandana he was wearing. “That’s debatable,” Harry said with a quiet sigh as if he were upset. Then, he beamed at Louis. “Which means we must test it out!”

It took some convincing, but eventually Lottie and Harry were sitting on a couch in the middle of the men’s dressing room. The floor workers kept shooting Lottie dirty looks, but she ignored it without a thought. 

“What did you choose for Louis?” Lottie asked in a conspiratorial manner, leaning heavily against Harry. 

“It’s a surprise. What about Niall?”

“I’m trying to find him a decent blazer. I also don’t see him wear anything other than cargo pants and polos,” Lottie said, eyes trained on the two occupied dressing room doors. There were small grumbles coming from each. “So basically, I’m working on everything.”

“I’ve tried to tell him to expand his interests,” Harry said with a sigh. “He doesn’t listen to me.”

“You are very confident in your bold clothes. He’s probably intimidated,” Lottie said. “Louis certainly is.”

Harry snorted. “I highly doubt anything could intimidate Louis.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’d be surprised. He-,”

“Harry. I look ridiculous.” Louis interrupted Lottie with a high whine. It made Harry’s skin perk to attention.

“Just let us see,” Harry said, struggling to hold back snickers. 

“No.”

Harry walked up to his door with a sigh. He gave Lottie an exasperated look as he knocked on the door. “Please.”

Suddenly, the door creaked open and a hand gripped his shirt, yanking him inside and slamming the door loudly directly after. “Can I take it off now? I look stupid.” 

Harry blinked, eyes focusing on his outfit. Heat surged through his body at the sight of Louis Tomlinson dressed in the tightest pair of pink leather trousers in the store and a sheer black shirt. His nipples were visible through the shirt, hard and tempting Harry more than they should. There was a decent bulge at the front of the leggings, making Harry sure his dick wasn’t proportionally as small as the rest of his body.

Harry wasn’t sure he remembered how to move. Louis’ eyes bore into him with frustration, bringing the pressing reminder that Louis was upset, and it was his unofficial job to fix that. 

“Only because you’re supposed to tie the string around your waist,” Harry said in a much quieter voice than before. Without thinking about it, Harry reached around Louis’ waist and pulled the sheer fabric strand forward, trying it in a knot on the left side of his body. He was going to step away and take in the look from afar, but Louis met his gaze before he could. 

“How does it look?”

They were so close he could taste Louis’ breath on his tongue. Minty freshness woke Harry up enough to break his gaze and blatantly check Louis out. With his waist now accentuated, Harry felt saliva build up in his mouth. Every inch of Louis was enhanced and irresistible. 

“Stunning.” Harry breathed, eyes raking up and down his body once more before looking into the open, startled blue ones of Louis. “I know it’s not your style, but…haven’t you ever wanted to look beautiful before? Curves appreciated instead of hidden?”

Louis stuttered, eyes confused as he stared openly at Harry for the first time ever. “I – um…”

Harry gripped his shoulders and spun him around, holding him steady in front of the mirror. Louis’ eyes flickered over his body like it wasn’t even his own. He turned to the side, giving them both a view of his bum. The pink leather lifted it, refusing to let it go by unnoticed. Harry would have dreams about his pink covered bum for the rest of his life now. 

“This shirt feels cool,” Louis said softly, like he was almost unsure of the statement. He was holding his breath as he surveyed himself in the mirror. His eyes raked up and down his body as his mind tried to catch up. 

Maybe Lottie hadn’t been joking after all.

“Yeah. I have a few sheer ones myself. I like the way it feels on my nipples.” Harry said, chuckling under his breath. Louis’ cheeks turned red as he fought back a smile. “Do you like your nipples played with, Louis?”

Louis straightened up slightly, catching Harry’s curious eyes in the mirror. “I don’t really know, Haz. Want to help me find out?”

“I-,”

There was a loud knock on the door. “Oi! Come help me, Harry! I think Lottie’s trying to make me into a ken doll!”

There was laughter from outside the door and another knock, so Harry and Louis fell apart even though Harry desperately wanted to stay hidden in their own world. When they exited the stall, they found Niall in tight white jeans and a classic pink tee with an orange ascot. Instantly, Harry and Louis burst into laughter, falling over and clutching their stomachs. It was the farthest thing from Niall’s style they could get.

“What? It’s fashionable!” Lottie defended, crossing her arms over her chest with a pout similar to Louis’. 

“I very much agree,” Harry said, walking to Lottie and slinging an arm around her shoulders. “But it’s also something Niall wouldn’t be caught dead in. I think we could turn him into a fashionable American golfer at best. More than that and I doubt he’ll go for anything.”

Lottie stamped her foot and leaned heavily against Harry. “But Americans have the worst fashion.” Harry patted her arm sympathetically. “Oh my god! Who turned my brother into an actual fit bloke?”

All three of them made a face of disgust, which Lottie waved off as she pulled Louis in front of a mirror and spun him around. “Get off it. You know I can’t buy these things anyways. It’s just for a laugh.” Louis fidgeted, cheeks burning red and making his cheekbones stand out. Harry didn’t even try to fight off a smile. 

“Why can’t you?” Niall asked as he pulled off the goddy shirt.

“Mum and Dad would absolutely murder either of us.” Lottie snorted, gazing at him wistfully, as if she wished for clothes like his just as badly, or maybe she wished to have the mere option to wear them. Either way, it hurt Harry’s heart to hear. All he wanted was to see that awed and slightly nervous expression in Louis’ eyes every time he put on his clothes, as if he couldn’t believe that he could look like that.

“Alright. Let’s find some real clothes for Niall and get food. I’m starving,” Louis said. They’d spent most of the morning doing more serious shopping for Harry. Louis had grabbed a few jeans and shirts that were relatively similar to the ones he wore often, but Niall and Louis had refused to let them be their ‘barbie dolls’ until the end of the day. Louis met Harry’s eyes in the mirror and tried not to wince. He slipped into the dressing room without another word. The lack of complaining from inside was startling. Harry didn’t even push him to try on the ridiculous tutu he’d thrown in the cart as a joke.

“Do you think I embarrassed him?” Harry asked as he and Lottie looked through the men’s clothing again for something Niall could actually wear. Lottie shot him an impish smile.

“That confused look he had? He gets it every time I dress him up for the school plays with make-up and tight clothing. When he played a forest fairy in A Midsummer Night’s Dream I thought I’d accidentally let him inhale glitter.” Lottie laughed, tossing pleated burgundy trousers onto Harry’s arms. The extra weight wasn’t good because he’d already felt lightheaded thinking of Louis dressed a fucking fairy. 

“If I saw him in glittery make up, I think I’d pass out,” Harry said, mainly to himself, but then he caught Lottie chuckled. He decided he didn’t care. He never was one to hide his emotions much. 

“Focus, Harry! We have to be back for church in a few hours.” Lottie threw another pair of trousers in his face. Harry nodded, thrifting through shirts he found held a classier quality than the shite cotton polos Niall currently wore. Just so Niall wouldn’t completely murder him, he threw in a few sports jerseys and comfortable tees. His biggest issue were the cargo pants – they had to go. 

When they got back to the changing rooms, Louis was dressed and sitting pretty on the couch, but he jumped to his feet when they entered. “You have a lot of clothes…”

“All for Niall. Don’t freak out,” Harry said, offering Louis a wink. It made him blush as a smile formed on his lips. 

“We do have a lot, and we’re running out of time. Why don’t I stay here with Niall while you all get us some food? I’m craving some Chinese food,” Lottie said as she tossed the clothes over the stall, complete with one foot flying into the air behind her. An audible grown could be heard from Niall alongside some muttered curses. “I’ll text you our orders. Go on then.”

She shooed them out of the dressing room looking far too pleased with herself.

“Your sister is rather pushy.”

Louis snorted, kicking at the ground as he said, “You’re the bloke dating her.”

Harry’s eyes grew wide. “W-we’re not dating!”

Louis elbowed him with a large grin. “I’m just teasing you, love. You don’t date anyone, do you?”

Harry shrugged, trying to not jump at the feel of his arm wrapping around his waist, guiding him in whatever direction the food court was. Honestly, there was such a haze in Harry’s head he had no idea. “I guess not. Don’t really know anyone well enough to.”

Louis nodded, like he’d been expecting that. “I never see you at parties. You should come more.” Harry normally never was persuaded to go, but just by that simple statement, he had a feeling he’d be finding himself at a party soon. “Are your parents strict or summat?”

Harry barked out a laugh. “No. The opposite really. I mean, it’s just my mum at home, but she told me I need to go out more. ‘Be young and make mistakes’ I think was her exact wording.”

Louis tightened his grip on his hip as he let out a stream of raspy giggles that made Harry immensely happy. He did that. “I’d love to meet your mum. She sounds amazing.”

“She is,” Harry said, eyes flickering to his tiny hand on his waist. “She’s not always a cliche ‘cool mum’ though. Once, Gemma had a guy over and Mum forced me to accompany them everywhere they went in the house to keep them from fooling around.”

Louis snickered, turning Harry and settling them in a queue for food Harry had no idea the name of. He found he really didn’t care. “If that’s the worst your mum does, I think we both know she’s far cooler than mine.”

Louis then gave Harry ten reasons why Harry should join them at parties on the weekend. They all sounded along the same lines; if Louis was taking such great risks to sneak out, it was the least Harry could do. After they got the food, they walked idly back toward the store they left Niall and Lottie in. In the time waiting outside at a table, Harry asked Louis about his acting. They got into a great game of whose role was better than the others. It was clear Harry had more lead roles than Louis but that Louis had more lead musical roles. 

“Hey, Lou,” Harry said after sipping from his tea. He offered a sip to Louis, who took it gratefully. “Do your parents know you’re in plays?”

“No.” Louis’ soft smile slipped from his eyes, but not completely. He gazed curiously at Harry. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Harry nudged his shoulder against Louis and decided to keep it there. “Yeah. I, um, get why they don’t, but…well, you’re really good. Like your parents would be proud if they-,”

“No, Harry, they wouldn’t.” Louis sighed, hand patting gently at his cheek. “They would call me a faggot.” Harry gasped slightly. He couldn’t help himself. Louis winced sympathetically. “Sorry.”

“It’s, uh, okay,” Harry said, not sure where he found the air to breathe. “Hadn’t heard that word used in a while is all.”

Louis snorted. “Yeah? I hear it a lot. Apparently, we’re what’s wrong with the world.”

Now Harry couldn’t breathe for an entirely new reason. Without thinking, he grasped Louis’ hand, hope surging through his body without permission. “We?”

Louis snatched his hand away, eyes locking on his lap. “Um, you were saying? My parents would be proud…?”

Harry’s heart was hammering so loud he had trouble making out what Louis had asked, but it eventually got through to him. “Your parents should be proud of you. You’re so talented on the stage. And on the football field, but I haven’t yet seen that one firsthand.”

Harry offered a wink, hoping it would settle the nerves Louis surely felt. It made that smile that reached his eyes appear, so it was enough to appease him. “Thank you, Harry. That means a lot coming from you. Honestly,” Louis said, voice lighter than normal. His hand landed on top of Harry’s warmly. “As for the football, you definitely should come watch. I can’t promise you the outfits will be as eye-catching, but it is entertaining.”

“I think I’d enjoy seeing you in any outfit.” Harry admitted, heat rising to his cheeks at the realization of how honest he was being. He really needed to work on that. Louis began to open his mouth, but then a loud yelp came from in front of them.

“Food! That’s amazing! I think I love you two more than Lottie!” Niall exclaimed, exacting a firm slap to his arm. It made Louis and Harry both laugh, but it also sadly pulled their hands apart.

. . .

Harry knocked firmly on the door with only a slightly unsteady fist. He didn’t know why he was nervous. It wasn’t like he was actually picking up Lottie as a date to a party. It did, however, feel like he was picking up Louis, which was absurd. For all he knew, Louis could have been straight. Most likely, he wasn’t, but Harry didn’t know, and it was foolish of him to think differently. 

“Harry Styles! It’s so nice to see you again! Please, come in,” Jay Tomlinson said, stepping aside for him to enter. When he did, he found Mark rounding the corner of the old staircase with a newspaper in his hands. His eyes surveyed Harry with the coldness of the arctic ocean. “Oh, Mark! Come meet the boy courting Lottie. He’s taking her out to a party tonight. Exciting, innit?”

Mark raised an eyebrow, emotion unchanging. Harry supposed he should have been more intimidated, but he was still shocked at the fact that they still got their world updates from the newspaper.

“Hello, sir. I’m Harry Styles.”

He offered his hand to shake, knowing that was the formal way the Tomlinson parents preferred to greet people, but Mark simply looked at Jay in disbelief. “He’s taking her somewhere alone? Absolu-,”

“No,” Harry interjected, feeling his palms begin to sweat. Lottie and Louis had enough trouble sneaking out to parties on their own, but tonight’s party began earlier than eleven, so they needed to be out of the house while their family was awake, which meant Harry was their best option. “Louis said he would join us. Chaperone and all that.”

“Hmph.” Mark grunted, arms crossing over his chest. He wore thin glasses that slipped to the edge of his nose. His grey-ing hair should have made him look softer, but it did the opposite, which was ironic considering Jay looked especially young compared to him. Then again, maybe their ages were not as close as Harry assumed. “Where is this party?”

“It’s at the church a block down from the school,” Harry said with a shrug. “It’s not the typical high school party, but I have fun.”

This, as Louis swore, appeased Mark instantly, and when he relaxed, Jay grinned widely and rubbed a hand up and down Harry’s arm in encouragement. “I hope you don’t mind giving me their number to ensure there is this supposed party going on tonight.”

It was clear from the expectant look in his eyes that it wouldn’t have mattered if Harry cared. “Not at all,” he said with a cheesy grin that got most parents to love him. Then again, he’d never met parents as strict as these. He listed off the number to dial, given to him by Louis once again. They were having a party tonight, as they did once every weekend to prevent kids going to actual parties. 

“Well then,” Mark said as he puffed up his chest. “I’m glad Lottie finally found a good Christian boy.”

Harry preened as if that were the greatest compliment in the world, pulling out some of his best acting. He waited patiently as two identical girls around the age of twelve dashed up the stairs shouting for Lottie and Louis. When they finally came down, they were dressed in muted colors and oversized clothing. It hurt Harry to see, but it also amplified his heart rate thinking about the reveal of their true clothes hiding beneath. After promising to have them back by a reasonable hour, the three got into Harry’s car.

Instantly, they stripped themselves of their brown rags. The low light of the setting sun offered a bad view of Louis, but Harry could tell he was dressed in tight black jeggings and a band tank top that showed off his arms. 

It was going to be a long night with those tempting things out in the air. 

“Did my dad make you shit your pants?”

Harry snorted, blinking quickly to refocus his gaze on the road ahead of them. The beach party wasn’t far away, luckily. “Not exactly. Maybe if I actually were trying to ‘court’ Lottie, I would have been scared.” 

Louis cackled, kicking his feet up on the dash and gazing openly at Harry. 

“Thank god I’m not interested in an actual relationship with anyone. I’d pity them,” Lottie snorted. Louis turned around with a scowl. 

“Speak for yourself.”

She let out a loud laugh, leaning forward rattling Louis’ headrest. “You have way more problems than I ever will, big brother.”

Harry’s interest was piqued again, and he spared a glance away from the road to look at Louis. “Like what?”

Louis started giggling again. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Curly?” He shot Harry a wink, making Harry certain his blue eyes would be the death of him by the end of this hot, torrential night. “Oh! There! Take that spot!”

With a sharp turn, everyone lurched to the side as Harry pulled into the tight spot along the dunes. The beach, of course, was cold and windy, but based off the pounding bass coming from speakers in the distance, nobody cared. It was thankfully warm enough that the wind only offered a slight chill. Harry had worn a long-sleeved dark purple button down, opting to leave most the buttons undone, but he’d also taken a jacket that he may end up needing by the end of the night. 

Louis was already shivering. “Told you to wear a jumper,” Lottie snickered, racing past Louis in her haste to join the crowd of teenagers collecting by decent sized bonfire. “But nooo. You just had to show off your arms.”

Louis flipped her off, but with her back to them, Lottie didn’t see it. Instead, she ran into Niall and Zayn, slinging her arms around their shoulders. 

“They’re good arms to show off.” Harry offered, making Louis’ lips lift. It was amazing that his lips were so tantalizing. According to society, small lips like his shouldn’t have been attractive, but perfect little curves of his upper lip made it hard to look away. Louis had a lot of curves (his bum!) that made it hard to look away. “Here! Take my jacket! It goes better with your outfit anyways.”

It was a black leather jacket that could literally go with anything, but he didn’t point that out. “Won’t you be cold?”

Harry waved a hand. “Nah. I don’t get cold much.”

It was a lie, but Harry couldn’t stand the idea of Louis shivering all night. His heart found relief when Louis reluctantly pulled his jacket on. It was much too large on him, but that only made the image of him in Harry’s clothes so much more adorable. It swallowed him, but he also pulled it off.

Harry decided he needed to get a hold of his crush for Louis Tomlinson. It was getting out of hand. 

“Come on,” Louis grinned slyly. “You’re driving, so that means you can enjoy watching me get pissed!”

Harry hadn’t been worried about going to a party in particular. He knew Niall, Liam, and Kendell were going to be there, so he wasn’t too concerned about not knowing anyone. Additionally, Harry recognized most of the faces from their class or the class below them. He supposed he could have tried the party scene out more than a few times before. After all, it was fun. He talked to a lot of people, which was somewhat exhausting. Even though reading a good book or baking soothed his inner self more, Harry decided he definitely didn’t hate mass socializing, even if it was draining. 

Luckily, after a few hours, everyone else thought the same. The music was still awfully loud, but there were only a few people dancing. The number of the party dwindled two hours after the sunset, and small groups began laying out in the soft sand around the fire chatting. 

It was where he found himself impossibly close to Louis, who was still wearing his jacket. He counted that as a win. 

“Get off your bloody high horse, Payno!” Louis shouted, head falling back. He clutched at the cup with two hands, making him look daintier than Harry was sure he intended to. It tugged at his heart. “They’re not the best fruit in the world! Fuck, are avocados even fruit? They’re gross and green. That sounds like a vegetable to me!”

Harry let out a honking laugh, unable to keep himself at bay. His whole body shook with it, thereby shaking Louis from his comfortable spot leaning against Harry’s body. Harry had been on his side, watching the verbal battle between Liam and Louis, but his laughter threatened to send him to his back. 

“Sorry to burst your bubble, babe, but they’re definitely fruit,” Harry said, trying and failing to not sound patronizing. Louis offered him a scowl before flicking at his nipple. He pouted. 

“Well fuck you then, too, Harold.”

“Bet he’d like that, huh?” Niall cackled before he tossed his empty beer can into the fire. Harry shot him a look, but it didn’t stop him. “Oh, get off it, Harry. Everyone knows you like dick anyway. You know once, he asked if he could see my dick. Definitely into dicks, that one is.”

Harry groaned, burying his face into the blanket. “Shut up, Niall!”

“I’m just helping you out, mate!”

Harry looked at him with amused disdain. “We were twelve and I was freaked out that I suddenly had hair down there! That’s why I wanted to see your dick!”

Louis burst into a spiel of giggles, squirming and pushing back into Harry’s body with more strength than Harry honestly knew he possessed. When Harry continued to pout, Louis tossed his own can of beer into the fire and patted Harry’s hip affectionately. It suddenly became a task to remain angry, but he did it. “It’s okay, Haz. No shame in a healthy interest in cocks.” When Louis realized what he said, redness rose to his cheeks. Growing quiet, Louis purposefully tossed sand on Harry’s legs, probably in hopes that Harry would forget, but he didn’t. 

There was a running list in his head titled ‘evidence that Louis likes men.’ Harry really hoped it never stopped growing. 

“It’s only healthy if you act on your interests, though,” Niall said, clutching his stomach as if it was the funniest thing in the world. Despite Harry having gotten over Niall teasing him about his lack of a sex life a long time ago, his cheeks still grew red. “Never have lost that v-card, have you, Haz? Must be starting to rot all alone back there in your pocke-,”

“Hey! Stop with your tings, man, at my boy! Come on along, Harold. We’ll go have our own fun.” Louis jumped to his feet, pulling Harry with him. He shared a brief, nervous glance down at Niall and Liam, both of whom wiggled their eyebrows suggestively before turning their attention to the rest of the crowd around them.

Louis was known to be spontaneous, so Harry honestly was worried he’d try to convince him to take a naked swim in the ocean. He had a serious problem saying no to those sparkling eyes. Luckily, Louis only pulled him into the small crowd of people dancing by the massive speaker. 

“Let’s dance, Hazza.” Louis called out loudly. His voice would have been lost to the music and wind, but Harry was nervously close enough to catch every word. 

“I’m an awful dancer.” Harry warned, feeling like if he had to embarrass himself, Louis at least needed a heads up. Louis scowled, grabbing Harry’s hand and pulling them so they were practically chest to chest. Then again, they’d both been doing plays in their theater group for ages, and Louis may have noticed Harry struggle with every musical that required dancing. Harry normally never got a big part in those.

“I didn’t drag you out here for a dance off, Curly. Surely even you can figure out how to let me dance on you.”

His words were raspy, filling the air with a low heat despite not making much sense to Harry. His actions, however, filled in the missing information when Louis turned around. Harry’s eyes naturally fell to Louis’ bum as he shook his hips in a way that screamed for praise. 

Harry couldn’t stop himself from stepping forward and pressing his hips flush against Louis’ bottom, though he didn’t try much at all. Louis leaned slightly into him, encouraging Harry to grip his hips tightly. 

“Not so bad, huh?” Louis called over his shoulder with a wicked grin as he rolled his bum back into Harry along with the beat. Harry stifled a groan at the sight and feel of Louis being absolutely irresistible. 

“After this, I’ll have to start calling you Tommo the Tease along with everyone else,” Harry said in a light manner, thankful his voice remained steady despite the haze quickly forming around it. Louis leaned his head back against Harry’s chest so he could look at him with a giddy smile. His bottom continued moved sinfully, and Harry felt no shame in the way he was chubbing up in his jeans. 

“I’m only a tease with certain people,” Louis defended, blinking at him lazily as Harry’s hands ran up his sides. His body was firm underneath his hands, a stark contrast compared to his soft bottom rocking against his horribly hard dick. 

“Are those certain people all girls?”

Harry couldn’t help himself from asking. He wanted to do so much with Louis, but he had to know. Louis’ lips pursed together in a satisfied way.

“Maybe.”

“Hmm. Well, you’re not the only one who can be a tease,” Harry said, voice dropping low as his fingers reached inside Louis’ shirt and ran over his nipples lightly. A small gasp came from Louis, and it was one of the most beautiful sounds Harry had ever heard. He decided he had to hear more of it, so he bent down and pressed his lips to Louis’ neck. 

Immediately, the boy let his head fall to the opposite side, exposing his neck even more as Harry kissed down his skin. He felt cold beneath him, but Harry quickly changed that as he sucked a mark into him. Louis whined, pressing his body back into Harry, who then wrapped his arms around his small waist and held him firmly against his chest. Louis kept his bum moving, but it was a slower, firmer pace. It felt as desperate as the moans coming from his mouth sounded. 

“You sound so pretty, Lou,” Harry whispered, nipping at his ear and being rewarded with a sharp, high pitched gasp. 

“You sound so smug, Haz,” Louis said in a growl, but there was no bite to it. “Gonna keep kissing parts of me that can’t kiss back all night?”

In a quick haste, Harry gripped his hips and spun him around. Louis stumbled a bit, but Harry kept a firm enough grip to steady him. Louis stared at him with a small, impish smile. His blue eyes were dark in the low light, but the stars in the sky twinkled within them. “Couldn’t tell if they would kiss me back or bite me.”

Louis offered up a wink. “You’ll have to take a risk for me, love.”

Harry licked at his own lips, eyes flickering down to those pink, tempting lips. Louis was biting his bottom one, compelling Harry forward. He sort of missed, kissing mostly just his upper lip and the skin above, but it was more than enough to overwhelm Harry. He moved his lips against his slowly, trying to get a feel for how Louis liked to kiss, but his lips stayed motionlessly, halfway parted. Harry pulled back with the sinking feeling that he’d completely turned Louis off with such a weird kiss. He half expected Louis to pull back and berate him for being such a bad kisser, but when Harry opens his eyes, Louis’ were still closed, and there was a small, far away lift to his lips. 

“You didn’t bite me, but, uh, you also didn’t exactly kiss me back,” Harry said, scratching at the back of his neck and glancing behind Louis at the waves lapping away at the sand. They probably kissed better than him. 

“What?” Louis frowned, like he hadn’t heard him correctly. Then, he shook his head and looked down at the sand, feet digging in until it reached his ankles. “Oh. Um, would you believe me if I said I was such a tease that I’ve never actually snogged anyone before so therefore I don’t know how?”

Despite them now standing still, Harry nearly fell to his bum. “No!” He let out a honking laugh loud enough to draw the attention of everyone around them. Louis smacked him upside the head and pulled them out of the crowd of dancing teenager. After picking up a stray, unopened can of beer, Louis set a slow pace toward the water, stumbling heavily as he went. It was freezing and dark, but the sound of teenagers and music fell away from them. “Sorry, but how? You have birds hanging off you left and right at lunch and after footie games. You’re telling me you’ve never kissed any of them at these parties?”

Louis folded his arms around himself while misshapenly avoiding spilling his beer. “Sure, they’ve kissed me. More in the ironic you’re-my-gay-best-friend type of way, which, in case you didn’t know, does not extend into snogging territory.”

It should have been an obvious statement, but it still made Harry stumble hard enough to fall. Louis gave as loud of a shriek as Harry did. “You’re gay?”

“What gave it away? My bum that’s asking to be fucked or me asking you to kiss me? Both are likely options.” 

Harry’s limbs felt like jelly, and he now was sucking in the wind and choking on it, but he managed to stand up. Louis continued sipping at his beer without a care in the world. That crooked grin made it so much harder to think of a decent response. Then again, most people never considered himself a witty person. 

“Both, really,” Harry said, but it was lost in the crazed look he had in his eyes. He knew this because Louis regarded him carefully. “Well, if it makes you feel any better. My first snog was with Niall, and it was absolutely out of pity.” Harry didn’t expect Louis to laugh nearly as hard as he did. Maybe it was the beer. He had been quite bold tonight in terms of new territory. Maybe he was truly drunk. Harry found himself spilling information before he could bother to ask Louis. He was sort of scared of the answer. “I have had real snogs since then, though, and I promise it’s better than that.”

Louis giggled to himself, knocking his shoulder into Harry’s side. “If that’s bad, I’m a little scared of what a real snog feels like. I couldn’t really think for a few seconds after that.”

“Now you’re just boosting my ego.” Harry couldn’t stop smiling to himself, even if it made him feel more exposed than the actual kiss. Louis laughed, high pitched and lighthearted. “Um, so why me? I know you’re not exactly obvious about it, but I’ve heard rumors about you for years. Surely you’ve met other guys…”

Without warning, Louis slipped his arm around Harry’s waist, squeezing them together in a way that made the wind cutting through their clothing unimportant. “You’ve always been very fit, Harry. Quiet, sure, but I got to hear you cracking horrid jokes all throughout practice for the play, and like, it was kind of adorable.”

He wasn’t wrong. They’d been doing theater together for a few years now, but they hadn’t both had lead roles together until this one. Half of their scenes were together. It made Harry’s minor crush on Louis splurge into barely tolerable. 

“I have heard funny was the new sexy,” Harry said, wiggling his eyebrows at Louis, whose face remained serious. 

“You were the last thing from funny, Harry.” When he pouted, Louis squeezed his hand tighter around him. “They’re all so bad, but you get this ridiculous grin on your face. I decided I wanted to see more of it. Didn’t expect you to be, like, really cool.” 

“Me? I’m the definition of cool.” This time, Harry was joking, and after one distrustful look from Louis, they both burst into laughter so strong they fell back on the sand. Luckily, they’d made their way back into the soft sand, even if their only light was the bright shine of the moon. 

“You’re everything I wish I could be,” Louis said, and then his hands clamped over his mouth, like he hadn’t meant to share that. Harry’s eyes went wide, and in the spur of the moment, he dug his bum further into the sand and pulled Louis’ legs over his thighs, bringing them closer. “I just, uh, meant in terms of gay pride. That sort of thing.”

Harry ran a hand down his cheek, but he suddenly didn’t find his quick words as funny anymore. “I can tell it’s not easy for you, but that’s not your fault, Lou. Considering your parents-,”

Louis tossed his hands up into the air with a look of disgust. “It doesn’t excuse accidentally insulting you because I’m too fucked up to realize what I said was on the homophobic scale!”

It was more of the gender-conformitive scale, but Harry absolutely refused to point that out now. 

He scooted closer and rested his forehead against Louis’. This was easier to say with his eyes closed. The fear of hurting Louis seemed less real. “Your parents can’t hurt me, not even through you. Not more than just the one time, not when I’ve met them and know that you might not realize things…I’m more concerned with how much they hurt you.”

It was probably the exactly wrong thing to say. The air around them dropped five degrees, and the wind blew Harry’s hair into both of their mouths. Louis seemed stiffer than Harry felt the first time he stood on stage – panicked into a state of immobilization. Just as quickly as it set in, though, Louis faked a cough and moved his head slightly into Harry. 

“Yeah. Well. Can’t do much about that now, can we?”

“Nope,” Harry said. There wasn’t much more Harry knew to do than to really talk it out, but that would come on its own time. Now he wanted to explore the fun side of what started this dark conversation further – to show Louis that he could help him deal with and forget the homophobia his parents tried to force into him. He also wanted to show to Louis what a real snog felt like. “If you feel like rebelling against them, I know a few ways to go about that.”

Louis sucked in a sharp breath of air, pulling back only slightly to gaze into Harry’s eyes. They seemed a misty grey in this light. “Let me clarify something, Harold. While I am not a tease to curled headed boys I fancy, I am also, like totally-,”

“A virgin?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow. Louis’ gaping mouth fell shut in embarrassment, which Harry laughed at. Hurt flashed in those blue eyes, so he hurried to clarify. “I’d be a little concerned if you’d lost your virginity to a boy who never kissed you, love.”

Louis kicked his feet into the sand, lips pouting. “Obviously.”

“I think it’s self-explanatory that if you, jock of the school and fittest lad around, haven’t lost your virginity, then I definitely haven’t.” 

Louis opened his mouth to object, but Harry darted down and connected their lips, stealing the words straight from his tongue. This time, he didn’t miss. This time, when he kissed Louis, he licked along his bottom lip, acting almost as a guide for Louis to grasp. Luckily, Louis caught on quickly after a sharp whimper, and then he was kissing him back just as eagerly. Their lips mirrored the others’ with only a second delay, and every now and then, Harry let his teeth tug on his bottom lip. Louis tongue had only just begun to explore Harry’s when there was a loud shout from further up the beach.

“Oi! You tossers! I need to get home before mum and dad kill Harry!”

They jumped apart with Louis’ fingers holding his slightly swollen lip as if he no longer believed it was there at all. Harry, on the other hand, found it hard to control his racing heart, but he managed as he pulled himself to his feet, offering a hand to Louis, as well, but he only whined and fell back to the sand. His empty beer bottle lied forgotten at his side. 

“I can’t! I’m too tipsy. They’ll smell it on me breath.”

Lottie groaned, looming over Louis with a glare. “If we’re late, Mum and Dad will never let Harry see me – ie. see you.”

It was the first time they openly addressed the fact that Harry saw more of Louis than Lottie on their supposed ‘dates.’ He supposed he knew as much, but it still startled him. “You’ve been setting us up!”

Lottie snorted, cocking out her hip and brushing her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Honestly, Harry. You’re so dense. To be fair, it was at Louis’ request.”

Louis’ mouth gaped like a fish as he jumped to standing position, wobbling only slightly. “Don’t sell me out!”

Lottie rolled her eyes. “Come on lovebirds.”

Harry and Lottie dragged Louis behind them by his hands. There was a long list of complaints and worries flying out of his mouth about how he was dead for. More than a few times, Louis tripped over nothing, face slamming into Harry’s back. His complaints hadn’t stopped by the time they climbed in the car, and he resorted to poking Harry while he drove. 

“You’ve got to stop.” Lottie groaned, reaching forward to smack at Louis, who only went into another line of complaints. “If you keep talking this much, Mum will definitely know. She’ll smell it on your breath. God.”

“Well what fuck else am I supposed to do? I can’t even walk straight.” Louis groaned, head falling into the middle console hard enough to make Harry wince. 

“You should have sobered up instead of sucking face,” Lottie said, smacking Louis lightly on the head. “No offense, Harry.”

“Can you help him inside?” Harry asked Lottie, chest tightening when he glanced at the clock. They were already going to get home later than her parents had wanted, so they really couldn’t stall any longer than they were. 

“You’re joking, right? He’s small, but he’s deadweight when he’s drunk.”

Harry gripped the wheel tighter, trying to ebb away his irritation. Lottie was being a little stand-offish. It was like she wasn’t even trying to help. With a heavy sigh, Harry made a split decision. “Fine. Tell your parents Louis is hungry and we’re getting him food. We’ll get garlic pizza so he won’t smell like booze. Hopefully by then he can walk straight.”

Louis let out a round of giggles, nuzzling his head into Harry’s free arm. If Harry weren’t so worried about letting Louis get in trouble, he’d be savoring this moment a lot more. After a long wait at a local pizza shop and a fight with Louis to get him to actually eat the pizza, Harry pulled into the Tomlinson driveway and cursed the world as Louis stumbled out of the car. 

“Pull it together, Louis,” Lottie hissed. “You’ll be pulled from the football team and theater if they catch you.”

This made Harry blanch. Things with Louis just began between them, and Harry would be damned if they had to end because he got grounded. As Louis stumbled again, he straightened and snapped his fingers. 

“I’ve got it! Follow my lead,” Louis said, lips lifting in a slight giggle. “Come with us, Haz. Help me out, yeah?”

Louis wrapped an arm around Harry’s waist and Lottie’s shoulders. It made his gait smoother once he straightened out. “Care to share your brilliant plan here?”

Louis didn’t answer his sister. Instead, he let Harry hold the door open for the trio and walked straight into the living room. Their parents were sitting on the couch, both reading a book, but Louis continued as if he didn’t see them. “I’m telling you, Harry. FIFA is the best video game! I can’t believe you’ve never played it. What are – oh! Hello Mum, listen to this. Harry has never played FIFA!”

Harry’s cheeks flooded with color. He wasn’t sure where Louis was going with this, but he knew the rule of improv; never say no. “Yeah. I’ve heard a lot about it, but we don’t have a device to-,”

“I’ve got to show him,” Louis said, elbowing his side heavily. “Even Dad plays.”

At this, their father relaxed slightly with a shrug. “He’s right. Not as good as Louis, but I’m decent.”

“I’m going to let him play a round or two in my room,” Louis said, squeezing Harry and Lottie in tighter. “Once the cute couple has said tonight, obviously.”

Jay frowned. “It’s a little late, isn’t it? I don’t want Harry falling asleep on the way home tonight.”

Finally, Harry was able to speak. “Yes. I’m sorry. Louis insisted we get food. Otherwise, we would have been here earlier.”

Mark waved a hand. “It’s alright. As long as Louis was with you the whole time, we trust you.” Harry didn’t point out that it meant he didn’t trust them at all. “Let them play a game or two, Jay. Worst comes to worst, Harry can stay in Louis’ room for the night. If that’s alright with your parents, Harry.”

“Uh…” Harry blinked, head spinning at where this conversation was going. He thought Mark hated him, but he supposed a little video game bonding worked for men of all ages. “Yeah. Safety first is what my mum always says.”

“Perfect!” Louis cheered, a little too loudly for a sober person, but Louis was loud in general, so his parents didn’t seem to think much of it. “Goodnight then.”

Louis’ bedroom was in the basement to keep the girls and boys separate. Apparently, once their little brother turned six, he’d be moving into Louis’ room. Harry thought it was ridiculous, but he didn’t question it as he gave Lottie a kiss to her cheek before following Louis down the stairs. He hoped he blocked his parents from seeing Louis sway as he struggled on his own. Nobody protested, and soon they were alone in Louis’ room. 

“I can’t believe that fucking worked.” Louis flopped back on his bed with a euphoric smile. With two doors between them and his parents, Harry finally let out air he’d been holding in and fell on his back beside Louis. 

“Even while drunk, you manage to trick people effortlessly,” Harry said, eyes moving around the room. It was strikingly bare. The only sign that a human being lived there was that clothes were strewn all around the floor and otherwise barren desk. There were no pictures or posters like Harry had. There weren’t even any plants, which made Harry really sad. Plants brought about a lot of joy. The only thing remarkable in the room was the television and gaming console. “Nice, uh, room.”

Louis snorted sardonically, eyes remaining closed. “Really?”

“Not really. I was just trying to be nice.” 

“Of course, you were. You, Harry Styles, are too nice.” Louis yawned, rolling himself off the bed and blinking down at Harry. “I, however, am not. So, don’t expect me to offer to take the floor.”

There wasn’t a big difference between sober and slightly drunk Louis. All drunk Louis did was sway a bit and speak with an offset tempo. It was extra adorable. “You wouldn’t take advantage of my niceness and make me sleep on the floor instead, would you?”

Louis pretended to think about it, thumb rubbing his chin but slipping and jabbing himself in the throat. He coughed scarcely before moving down the floor and pulling out the gaming system. Instead of turning it on, Louis flicked off the lights, letting only the moon shine through the window. “I would take advantage of a lot of things about you, Curly, but your niceness isn’t one of them.”

Harry sat up instantly, eyes narrowing as Louis walked toward the bed. His eyes couldn’t stop noticing the way his hips swayed more purposefully all of a sudden. He was really, really fit, and now he was talking dirty, and Harry was young, so he was instantly hard.

“Not gonna get you in trouble, is it? Staying here?” Louis asked as he settled himself in front of Harry’s legs. It made it so much harder to breathe in the best way. “Can’t have anyone wondering if you’ve been naughty.”

Harry gulped. This was the first time he understood the trouble of speaking at such a slow rate as he did. There was no way he could keep up with Louis. It took him far too long to come up with the response he did. 

“Mum won’t care, but don’t worry. If I’m being naughty, nobody will wonder.” Harry took a deep breath before deciding to throw all restraints to the wind. With a smirk on his lips, Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist, hands landing firmly on his bum and pulling him against his body. “You’ll know.”

Louis melted into his arms, lips falling onto Harry’s with a whimper that made Harry’s entire body tremble. His hands twirled into his curls, refusing to let him move away. When Harry licked into his mouth, Louis’ tongue met his, and then it felt like the kiss set their bodies on fire. Louis kicked at the ground, sending them both falling back onto the bed. It sent a rush of desire coursing through Harry, and he suddenly had a bad fear that this wouldn’t last long. 

“Lou.” Harry breathed, hands squeezing his bum and aligning their hard cocks. Both of them groaned, Louis’ face falling into Harry’s shoulder. When Louis ground his hips down into Harry, he gasped, body tensing as he desperately willed himself not to come. He could not come this early. Harry refused to embarrass himself, not with Louis. 

Harry had never gotten off with anyone before, but he was very well attuned with snogging. If he was going to come in his pants, the least he could do was make Louis do the same…if that was possible.

With a groan of pleasure, Harry kissed his way down Louis’ neck, stopping when the sounds coming from the boy above him got low and loud. He sucked a mark into his skin and thrust up against Louis with a goal in mind. “Harry! Fuck – you’re going to-,”

Harry bit at his neck slightly, making Louis moan into his ear so loudly he worried his parents would hear. Harry thrust up against Louis as he pulled on his hair, and that did Harry in. The ball of energy in his stomach burst with an elation far better than any he’d had before. Even the sticky feeling in his underwear wasn’t enough to dampen his mood, so he went back to kissing Louis’ lips. It was a slower kiss, with more synchronized movements than earlier, and for a second, Harry wondered if Louis wasn’t into it anymore, but then Louis pulled back with a face as red as lava and eyes as dark as charcoal. 

“Sorry.” Louis blurted, hands combing down Harry’s cheeks as if memorizing his features. “Obviously, I thought I’d last longer, but, uh-,”

“You came too?” Harry asked as his eyes doubled in size. Louis frowned, and then realization set in both of them as they grinned with relief. Louis pecked his lips lightly as he giggled and stretched out on top of Harry. 

“God. We didn’t even get any of our clothes off,” Louis said, deliberately tugging on Harry’s shirt. 

“Hey. At least I look hot in mine. I had to work with these brown rags.” To prove his point, Harry pushed Louis’ trousers down and slipped his hands over his bum that was so warm Harry swore he’d never be able to forget the feel of it. “It was really hard, actually.”

“I hate your puns so much,” Louis said with a groan, but he nipped lightly at Harry’s neck in a teasing manner that made Harry sure he didn’t actually hate him. With only a minor complaint, Louis pushed himself up and glared at Harry. Then, he grabbed a wet flannel and threw it at Harry before disappearing into the bathroom to freshen up. It was the worst clean up Harry ever had, but when Louis emerged in only clean grey briefs, Harry decided he no longer had a care in the world. “Stop staring. I’m cold. Give me cuddles.”

“O-okay.”

“Take off that bloody shirt. I thought you said you slept naked.”

Harry did as told, recalling talking about that at the beach party only earlier that night. It was odd to Harry that this night was part of that one. It felt like something so much bigger than some teenage party. 

After changing into the clean pants Louis offered him, Harry slipped into bed, finding himself face to face to Louis Tomlinson. His blue eyes were dark, but they were calculating nevertheless. “If you snore too loudly, I will smother you in your sleep. Or kick you in the bullocks.”

“Whichever one you feel like?” Harry guessed, making Louis nearly break the frown he was putting on. Louis nodded curtly, making Harry laugh before he grabbed Louis’ hot hips and pulled them together. “Goodnight, Louis. I’ll be dreaming of you.”

“Bloody fucking sap,” Louis said under his breath, turning around and threatening to make Harry hard a second time in the night because the best bum on the world was now pressed against his dick with minimal clothing separating them. Somehow, Harry plastered himself to Louis’ soft back and sighed without sounding too worked up. “Night, Haz. Can’t wait to wake up to your giant boner pressed against me arse tomorrow.”

And, really, Harry couldn’t protest that one.

. . .

Harry woke up to movement in the bed. He was too tired to see what was happening, so he squeezed his arms and dug his head further into the pillow. However, it felt completely different to what he was used to; his pillows never moved when he squeezed them. 

“Harry.”

“Haz.”

“Hazza.”

A horrible wetness appeared in Harry’s ear, making him jump upright. “What the fuck?” 

Louis’ face loomed curiously above him. He wiped his slightly wet finger on the sheets. “Had to get you up somehow.”

Harry groaned, pulling a pillow over his face and trying to will himself back to sleep. “Watched a porno once where the girl woke him up with a blowjob. Try that next time.”

In retrospect, Harry should have seen the pinch coming, but he was tired, so the pinch to his bum hurt enough to make him shout. “Don’t call me a girl. And get up already.”

“Didn’t call you a girl.” Harry said, voice muffled by the pillow. He finally sat up when he realized Louis wasn’t going to go back to bed.

“Why would you watch hetero porn anyway? Gay is so much better.” Louis droned on, bouncing on the bed as he spoke as if it weren’t extremely early in the morning. As hard as Harry tried, he was not a morning person, and he’d been counting on Louis not being one either. 

Harry rubbed at his eyes as he adjusted to the low light in the room. “It’s bad to you because you’re not attracted to women. I’m not that selective.”

Louis shrugged impartially. “Guess so. Should I be jealous of you watching people with tits when I don’t have any?”

Harry scowled. It was such a weird question it actually woke him up. “Are you jealous?”

“Not really. I have a better bum and hair than any bird around. Plus, most of them won’t even try it up the arse. I bet bum holes feel better than whatever they have,” Louis said, eyes alight with mirth. He was sort of rambling, having no urgency to be assured, and Harry found it incredibly, impossibly amusing. It was enough to make him grin, and it wasn’t even nine in the morning yet according the clock sitting by the bed. 

“Well, Lou,” Harry said as he fell on his side on the bed and wrapped his body around his lean frame, head resting on his thigh. It was firm and tan and large and Harry really shouldn’t have been thinking about them so early in the morning. “They have vaginas and bumholes, but I’ve never been inside of either, so I wouldn’t know. Why don’t you try out a vagina and I’ll try an arse and we’ll converse?”

Louis made a sound of disgust, whacking Harry lightly on the head, but then he decided to run his fingers through his curls. “That’s the worst suggestion that’s ever come out of your mouth, Haz.”

Harry tightened his arms around his body, nuzzling his face into the bend in his hip. It was warm there, and it smelled of the soft, faintly vanilla scent of Louis that Harry would forever have memorized. “That’s what you get when you wake me up early. Bad suggestions. Why are we up so early?” His fingers were lulling Harry back to sleep, but unfortunately, Louis noticed and tugged firmly. A small groan slipped out of his mouth. “Don’t try to distract me. Won’t work.”

“If the semi pressing against me bum is anything to go by, I think it will.” Harry growled in a warning that he was not in the mood. Louis heaved an annoyed sigh. “It’s Sunday. We go to church on Sundays. If I don’t get up there soon, Dad will come down here and drag me out.”

Harry blinked slowly, processing what that meant. “So it’d be really bad if he found us like this.”

“Yeah. It’d probably be better if he saw me with your dick down my throat,” Louis said, and it made Harry laugh. Reluctantly, Harry sat up and got out of bed. “So. Want to come to church with us?”

They took one glance at each other and both boys burst out laughing. It brightened their moods enough spur them to find some clothes. Louis dressed in boring khaki trousers and an ugly pastel green button up. “Louis, you’re, like, always gorgeous, but I do have to say those clothes are hideous on you.”

Louis scowled. “Please. Like anything could make me look bad.”

“Your bum disappeared.”

“Fuck. That might do it,” Louis said with an actual pout to his lips. 

Harry smirked, wrapping an arm around his waist, letting his hand fall to his bum to squeeze it roughly, making Louis squeak. It was cute. “Found it.”

“I hate you.”

. . .

“Niall, I’ll have dinner finished in twenty minutes. If you keep eating those brownies, you’ll spoil real food,” Anne said, eyes turning down gently as she observed the messy boy.

Niall laughed between brownie bites, teeth coated in a disgusting layer of brown much. Harry would offer him a napkin, but it would just go unused. He’d been friends with Niall long enough to know that. 

“Don’t worry, Anne. Niall could probably win in a food eating competition and still be hungry after,” Liam said as he and Harry spread out plates onto the table. “Just the four of us, right?”

“Sadly, yes.” Anne handed Harry the bowl of greens and looked sympathetically at him. He grimaced as well, knowing where her mind wandered. “Gemma couldn’t make it for Harry’s birthday, but she’ll be here this weekend to celebrate.”

At the mention of the weekend, Niall jumped to his feet. “Yes! We’ve finally convinced him to throw a real birthday party!” Anne gave him a look of disdain and amusement, so Niall held his hands up and cleared his throat. “Not that this dinner isn’t lovely, but it is lacking some important people. That’s all.”

“Oh?” 

Harry shook his head. “Nope. Nobody is missing.” Anne gasped, handing over the salad to Liam before whirling on Harry, corning him with a wide, excited grin on her face. “Mum. Please.”

“Does this have anything to do with the party you went to last weekend? The one you never came back from until the next morning?” Anne asked, arms crossing over her chest expectantly. His mother was a gorgeous woman with kind eyes, but they were so powerful it made it impossible to not cave into their demands. His mum was a dangerous woman. 

“You stayed the night with Louis Tomlinson?” Liam shouted, making Harry glower as Anne’s eyes lit up with information. 

“Louis Tomlinson is it?” Anne asked, a smug smile forming on her lips. Harry could feel his cheeks light up. “The boy who played Peter Pan? Harry! He’s so talented!”

“Mum, can we talk about this later? Please?”

“Nooo.” Niall pouted, face hovering over the fish and nearly drooling on it. “Come on, Harry. All you said was you snogg-,”

“Niall! My mum is right there! Shut up!” Harry waved his hands, hoping it added an emphasis. 

Anne smiled to herself before ruffling his curls and moving back to the get the rest of the food. “So. Why is this boy not with us tonight?”  
Harry groaned, head falling into his hands. “Can we please not bring that up? It’s my birthday. Give me that one wish.”

With all the food on the table, everyone sat down in their places. Niall looked at him with saddened eyes, as if he was genuinely worried. “Did something bad happen?”

Harry huffed. “No. I – I just don’t know what we are. I mean, it’s Louis Tomlinson. He’s not exactly easy to understand.”

Liam scoffed. “If you say so. At the least, I’d call you friends, though, and you invited us.”

Harry didn’t point out that their friendships were different than what he had with Louis. Liam and Harry didn’t snog until they came in their pants together. It was very different. 

“Did he at least wish you a happy birthday?” Anne asked as they all settled around the table. Harry pointedly stared at the food, busying himself with grabbing as much as he could while taking as much time as possible. It didn’t deter anyone, unfortunately. “Did you even tell him, Harry?”

“Nope.” A collective groan sounded throughout the room. “What? It’s Wednesday. They go to church on Wednesdays, so he couldn’t have come anyways.”

“Church?” Anne asked with a frown. Harry gave her a pained look, to which she offered him an amused smile. “I’m not judging! Niall here is a perfectly pleasant catholic boy.” At that, he grinned proudly and caressed the cross hanging from his neck. “And we’ve always been relatively religious, but those who go to church on Wednesdays tend to be…diligent in their beliefs.”

Harry continued to stare at her with emphasis. At his side, Liam finally burst into a scandalized laughter. Finally, Anne gave a sigh and mumbled under her breath as she pushed the food on her plate around. “It’s surprising, I suppose, to hear of an openly queer boy from a family like that.”

At this, Harry cleared his throat, frowning slightly. “Um, I don’t know if he is that open about it.”

Niall grimaced. “Yeah. I’ve been around the lad for years at parties. He’s always got a bird on his arm and played into all that, but there were still rumors about him being gay. He never confirmed or denied them, really.”

A sad frown made its way onto Anne’s face, to which Harry eagerly said, “It’s not like he’s scared. It’s his family. Now can we get back to the real star of the night? Me?”

Anne smiled softly at him, but there was a look of hesitation in her eyes that Harry had been trying to avoid putting there. It made his stomach twist. He had no idea what Louis even was to him, but he wanted so much. There would never be anything if his mum couldn’t get behind his feelings for Louis, though. 

After everyone ate and Niall complimented Anne on her cooking and Liam described the money value of each of Harry’s gifts, Harry found himself seated beside his mum watching Grease. He could feel her eyes on him, studying him more than the film, which Harry found to be criminal. 

“You can say whatever you’re thinking, Mum. I know you want to.”

Anne grinned, patting his leg affectionately as she turned back to the television. “You should tell him it’s your birthday before he doesn’t have a chance to tell you happy birthday.”

Harry groaned, running his hands through his hair. “It’s not like we talk all the time.”

“Every day?”

“Maybe,” Harry shrugged. When she caught his eyes, he felt like he could see every embarrassing detail of his thoughts pertaining to Louis. “I think he’ll be angry.”

“I would be,” Anne said with a grim smile. “I’d be upset if he weren’t. He should want to make you especially happy on your birthday. You deserve that.”

Harry smiled sheepishly. His mum loved to dote on him and always has. “Guess so…”

“I want to meet him.”

Harry’s eyes doubled in size. He paused in reaching for his phone to look at her, making sure he’d heard correctly. It shouldn’t surprise him very much. “We – we’re not even-,

“I know,” Anne said with closed eyes as she smiled at the ceiling happily. “Have him come to the party early. I’ll leave after I get to meet him. I swear.”

Not many mums were cool enough to let her teenage child throw a party for their eighteenth birthday. She put rules on it. There were only so many people allowed, and the bedrooms were off limits. Still, there was (reasonable) alcohol involved, which was more than most mums allowed. She was very awesome for leaving for a few hours, as well, even though Harry swore it would be fine if she didn’t. 

“What if it freaks him out, Mum?”

Anne shrugged. “Then he’s a hypocritical coward. You met both of his parents after all.”

Under the pretense that they were barely friends at best. And Harry’s father had run off far too long before Louis could have met him. But Harry decided not to say that. She was right after all.


	2. The Middle

“No! Gemma, I said I got it!” Harry yelled as he ran down the stairs fighting elbow-to-elbow with his sister. A loud laugh escaped her lips as she jabbed her fist into his groin, sending Harry tumbling down the stairs as Gemma skipped past him. “Gemma! Stop!”

When the door was yanked open, Harry was still picking himself up off the ground. “Lose your balance again, Haz?”

Harry glared first at Louis and then at his sister. “No. Gemma pushed-,”

“Hi, I’m Gemma. Harry’s sister. You must be his boyfriend?”

This was exactly why Harry had raced to the door. “Gemma, I never-,”

“Yeah,” Louis said with a warm laugh. “I suppose I am, though most people know me as Louis Tomlinson.” Halfway through the process of getting up, Harry fell over again at his words, crashing right into Louis’ legs. “Jesus, Harry, stand up, would ya?”

“Y-yeah. ‘M good.” Harry managed to right himself by clutching to Louis’ side. Gemma continued snickering as she called out for their mum, so he discretely pressed his lips to Louis’ ear and asked, “We’re, uh, dating?”

Louis pulled away with one raised, smug eyebrow. “Aren’t we?”

There was a good chance he would start choking if he spoke, so all Harry could manage for a response was a grin so wide it hurt his cheeks. It made Louis smile softly, so he figured it was good enough.

“Hello!” Anne said, making Harry go pale all of a sudden. His _boyfriend_ , who’d only just confirmed their relationship status seconds ago, was meeting his mother. This was originally intended to be a friend-mother meeting. Now, it meant much more.

“Uh, Mum, meet Louis, my, uh -,”

“Boyfriend.” Louis supplied, pressing a hand against the small of Harry’s back as he stepped forward and extended a hand. “It’s lovely to meet you, Ms. Styles. You’re even more beautiful than Harry said you were.”

Gemma burst into laughter. “Wow. You’ve picked a stellar arse-kisser, Harry. Even I’m a little charmed.”

Anne laughed kindly, her eyes glancing at Harry in a ‘why haven’t I met him before’ manner. It made guilt seep into his chest. “Please, call me Anne. It’s great to meet you, too, Louis, though I wish I could have met you at Harry’s birthday dinner. It’s a shame I’m leaving so soon now.”

“His what?” Louis asked, turned to Harry in question. He sucked in a hot breath of air, trying to brace himself for the hell he’d be catching from _somebody_ in that room.

“Harry turned eighteen Wednesday,” Anne said. “We had him a small birthday dinner that night with close friends.”

“And now we’re throwing a party tonight! Did you really think Harry throws parties randomly?” Gemma laughed haughtily, but Harry only glared at his family. Nails dug into his back, informing him that, yes, Louis was angry.

“Well. I never got invited. What a shame, hmm?” Louis said tersely, trying to keep a smile on his lips like the actor he was. Harry groaned, head falling in shame.

“I didn’t know we were officially dating, okay?” Harry exclaimed, louder than needed. Louis’ blue eyes were filled with electric anger. “I didn’t want to scare you off by having you meet my mum…”

Gemma laughed so hard she toppled into Anne. Harry glared at her, but when Louis started laughing, he had trouble figuring out who to glare at more.

“Well now I’m glad I didn’t have you two tossers at my dinner anyways,” Harry said with a huff, walking past all three of them into the living room. A hot pair of feet followed him quickly.

“Hey! You can’t pout on me, Curly! I’m very angry with you!” Louis yanked on his wrist, spinning Harry around and struggling to scowl at him. Each time he tried, his stupid, adorable smile fell back onto his shimmering lips. “How could you not mention your birthday to me? That’s vital information!”

Despite every effort not to, Harry felt a blush creep onto his cheeks. “Didn’t know you’d care…”

Louis rolled his eyes before standing on his toes and pressing their lips together. It made Harry’s heart jump, and it did manage to quell his nerves. “Stop underestimating yourself, love. I really like you, even if you didn’t invite me to your dinner.”

Harry fought off a grin, but not for long. “Sorry.”

“Could have given you birthday sex, too. What a shame…” Louis whistled, shaking his hips as he walked back into the kitchen where Gemma and Anne were.

Harry gaped. “Wha – you’re such a liar! We haven’t even – Lou!”

“Are you really heading out now, Anne?” Louis asked, sitting down at the counter, blinking up at Anne as she gathered her purse. Harry settled beside him, arms wrapping around his chest and face burying in his hair. He smelled like faint vanilla mixed with a tangy cologne that made Harry want to inhale his scent for hours. Louis leaned back into him. “I was hoping you could show me some embarrassing pictures of Harry.”

Anne laughed, leaning over the counter to ruffle his hair. “I don’t want to spoil your party, but I can definitely show you them another time. Feel free to come over whenever, Louis. You’re always welcome here.”

“Really?” Louis asked immediately, almost as if it was an instinctual response. “Thanks, Anne. I’ll come by some more, but, uh, my parents are a little strict. I dunno if I’ll get to come as much as I’d like.”

Anne frowned grimly. “That’s alright, love. If it’s easier for Harry to come to you, I understand. Not every parent is as cool as me.”

“Mum,” Harry groaned, but he had a big grin on his lips. “You are pretty cool. _Very_ cool actually. Cool enough to let Louis stay over-?”

“No,” Anne said instantly. She glanced apologetically at Louis momentarily before focusing on Harry’s pouting expression. “If Gemma had to follow the open-door policy until uni, then so do you.”

“Yes, but it’s not like I could knock Louis up,” Harry said with a roll of his eyes. Louis coughed, elbowing his gut pointedly. “Or the other way around.” That was better.  
  


Anne was blushing as this point and hurrying for the door. The sound of popcorn being crunched by Gemma was mixed in with her laughter. “I’m not encouraging my children to have sex in my house, Harry. Louis, you’re welcome to stay in the guest room, of course. Now I’m off. Have a fun party. Don’t destroy the house. I’ll be back at one.”

The moment the door shut behind her, Gemma burst out laughing. Louis joined in, body shaking Harry’s as he patted his hand. “You tried, baby, but you failed.”

Harry huffed. “It was worth a shot.”

“Trying to have sex finally, Haz?” Gemma asked as she reached into the cabinets and brought out two bottles of liquor.

“No!” Harry shouted at the same time as Louis snorted, “Yes.”

Gemma raised an eyebrow suspiciously at their controversial answers. With a shrug, she looked at Louis. “What about your house? Didn’t Harry stay the night there?”

“Yeah,” Louis said, leaning back against Harry with a contemplative look on his face. “My parents think I’m beyond straight. To the point they think Harry is dating Lottie. So they had Harry stay in my room. Keep an eye on him an all.”

Gemma gaped, looking between the two like they were fish out of water. Harry took the bottles of cola from her hands with a concerned glance in her direction. The rest of his friends should be arriving in a few minutes, and he wanted the drink station to be set up by then.  
  


“You’re both idiots. Do it there! Much better than _asking your mum for permission_.”

“I was asking for cuddles!” Harry threw his hands in the air. “You and mum made it dirty. Jesus.”

Louis giggled, grabbing a solo cup and mixing a sweet drink. “Well, I don’t know about you, Harold, but _I_ am asking for sex.” Then, he promptly stood up and walked off to find ice. Harry groaned, falling into the seat and determinedly not thinking about them having sex. He did not think about Louis’ lithe body squirming beneath Harry as he touched every inch of him, as he sank himself into him with words of love spilling from his lips.

The doorbell rang, alerting Harry to the semi he had grown. Leave it to Louis Tomlinson to embarrass him in front of the largest population of his friends he’d ever had.

Ultimately, it was mostly the kids from theater. Jess and Jade showed up first, quickly followed by Niall, Liam, and Zayn. Louis had invited Zayn with Harry’s permission, but Harry had no idea he knew Niall and Liam well enough to come with them. It relieved some of Harry’s worry that Zayn would stand out and not enjoy himself. A huge part of him worried Louis wouldn’t either. He wanted them to have a good time at _his_ party. He shouldn’t have to prove himself to be cool enough to have a decent party, but he worried Louis would find him awkward if he couldn’t. After they showed up, Lottie and Sophie joined them. Unfortunately, Kendell and Cara brought Nick Grimshaw. Harry liked him. Louis despised him. Nevertheless, the small party kicked off well with some shots.

Harry spent the first half introducing Gemma to his friends. Louis bounced around the party as well once he realized he knew everyone there more or less. It seemed to be the goal of every guest to get Harry as drunk as possible seeing as he was officially old enough to drink. He’d only drank a little before, but tonight, he was certain he’d tried every mixture of vodka and every type of beer under the sun.

“Louuuu.” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear as he made them both another drink. He was the only one there to take pity on Harry by making his drinks weaker than normal. It made it much easier to drink. “Lou, you look pretty.”

“You look drunk,” Louis said, eyes twinkling with mirth. “But thank you.”

“I’m just wobbly.” Harry frowned. “Wobbly is a weird word.”

Louis snorted. “You’re a weird boy.”

“Yeah.” Harry sighed, inching closer and pressing a hand to his hip. “You still like me though, right?”

“Yes, Haz. I somehow still like you,” Louis said, but this time, Harry could tell he was teasing because he leaned into his touch. Once both drinks were made, Louis led them into the living room to join some of their friends. Lottie was gesturing wildly as she told a story to Niall, who looked like he couldn’t have been more interested. Zayn and Perrie were controlling the music and seemed deep in conversation with that. Harry sat down on the couch and gestured for Louis to sit beside him, but to his surprise, Louis took the chance to sit on his lap. “Oh wow.”

“What?” Niall asked from the loveseat on their left. “Harry, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. You that hammered yet?”

Harry let out a giggle, wrapping his arm around Louis’ waist tightly and leaning around him to look at Niall with a wide grin. “You know how people say it’s harder to get a boner when you’re drunk?”  
  


“Yeah…?” Niall asked at the same time as Louis groaned, burying his face in Harry’s neck as he pretended not to laugh.

“I’m not finding it very difficult.”

Niall and Lottie burst into laughter, and even Zayn and Perrie on their right joined in. Harry had no idea they were listening in. “Harry’s so getting it tonight,” Niall snickered, but Lottie hit him right after before Louis could reach him.

“That’s my brother you’re talking about. Don’t be gross,” Lottie said as she smacked him upside the head. Louis laughed, shifting on Harry’s lap with a small gasp as he felt Harry’s hard cock beneath him. When he looked suspiciously at Harry, all he could do was make a sheepish face and kiss his tanned shoulder. “I wouldn’t be so sure about them ‘getting it’ anyways. They’ve barely done anything.”

“Hey!” Louis growled, twisting around to glare at her. Harry very much enjoyed the heat and firm pressure of his body on his own. It was steadying even when the rest of the room was slightly unsteady. “How would you know that?”

“Well you’ve only been alone once! And I doubt either of you virgins would want to jump straight in to the heavy stuff,” Lottie said, pointing her half-empty bottle at them with an all-knowing smirk. Harry groaned, burying his face into Louis’ neck and savoring his scent that was now mixed with beer. It wasn’t bad.

“Just take a cue from Liam and go for it in the corner over there,” Perrie said, looking with emphasis at the dark corner where, as she said, Liam was heatedly snogging a girl. Harry couldn’t tell who it was, and he wasn’t very concerned at the moment. All he could think about was Louis’ skin beneath his hands as he slipped them just barely under his shirt. He had the hint of abs that somehow also shifted into a slight tummy, and Harry really liked it.

Suddenly, Gemma jumped over the back of the couch and sat at their sides. “Nah. My little brother is too goody-two-shoes for that. You know he _asked_ mum if Louis could-,”

“I’m not too goody-two-shoes for what?” Harry squawked, not even letting Gemma finish the embarrassing story. Louis’ hand ran up his neck, fingers twining deep into his hair. It was very distracting, and probably on purpose, but he kept focus on Gemma.

“To snog Louis in front of everyone,” she said with a shrug, as if it wasn’t a horrible thing to say. Harry personally found it very insulting. Louis leaned forward, beginning to speak, but she laughed. “Louis, I can already tell you would. It’s-,”

“I bloody would too!” Harry was louder than necessary, making Niall burst into giggles. “’Cept now it’d be weird if we just started snogging because you said so. See, Gem. I’m also a rebel.”

Zayn snorted loudly, and Harry looked to see what he meant by that before Louis groaned. “Haz, she’s just riling you up. You know that, right?” Louis said, hand turning his face toward him. His cheek bones were giving Harry a tough time trying to will away all sexual thoughts.

“But – but Lou!” Harry whispered, leaning forward and pressing his mouth against Louis’ ear. “I kinda like people watching.” When Louis pulled back, eyebrows raised in shock, Harry corrected himself. “Well, not our sisters, of course, but, like -,”

The dim lighting made it hard to see Louis rolling his eyes, so Harry didn’t understand what he was doing when he twisted his hand firmly in his hair and turned his head to look directly at him. Then, Louis’ lips were on his, and Harry could barely react before his tongue was sliding along his lip. Immediately, catcalls erupted around them, and Gemma shoved Harry roughly on the arm before getting up from the couch, but Harry hardly noticed. He kissed Louis back a little faster, tongue tasting his beer-stained lips as he struggled not to lay him out right here. Harry’s hand dropped to Louis’ thigh, and he was just moving it up when five crushed beer cans pelted them.

Louis whined, pulling away and flipping everyone off. “Now I’m all sticky.”

“Yeah?” Zayn asked, smirking with those dark eyes. “Where? Your shirt or your pants?”

Harry sucked in a sharp breath of air, unsure if he was correct in thinking Zayn actually made a dirty joke, but when Louis lunged forward and flung a full beer can at him, Harry realized he was correct. He caught Louis around the waist, pulling him back to his lap and almost screaming as he sat right on his dick.

“Ow, ow, Lou, my – owww,” Harry said, pushing Louis to the side.

“What, does Louis not know how to ride dick properly?” Perrie asked as Zayn cackled into her neck. Harry mentally groaned, already sensing the explosion coming from Louis, who jumped to his feet, one hand balled in a fist and one clutching at Harry’s wrist.

“Fuck you all! We’ll just ditch your boring lot and go ‘practise’ then!” Louis shouted, marching off and literally dragging a very non-complaining Harry after him. It took him all the way to the stairs to get properly to his feet, but he waited to say a word until they were officially a floor above their friends.

“That was really hot, Louis,” Harry said in a mix between a laugh and seriousness. It made Louis stop walking, looking Harry over with a frown.

“Are you drunk?”

“No,” Harry said, stepping closer to Louis and grinning. “I had three more cups than you, but I’m also three times your size -,”

“Absolutely not true.”

“- so I’d say we’re equally as drunk.” Harry finished his calculations proudly, but he did snag a cup of water from the fridge.

“That’s shit logic, you know,” Louis said as they climbed another set of stairs to Harry’s room. It was clear both of them had something in mind worth climbing so many stairs for.

“I just wanted you to get that I’m not too drunk for sex,” Harry said, though when the words fell out of his mouth, he frowned. “Well, probably too much for anal. I feel like that would go a lot better when I have full dexterity of my fingers.”

Louis cursed under his breath as he shoved Harry into the room. “How can your drunk arse use such big words?” Harry began to form an answer, but Louis shoved against his chest, making him fall back on to the bed. “I don’t care what we do, baby. I just want to make you come. You’re eighteen now. You _have_ to have birthday sex of some sort.”

“Fuck yes.” Harry grinned, hands reaching out for Louis and gripping his hips as he settled on his lap. “Let’s get naked.”

Harry sat up, pulling off Louis’ shirt before his own. Louis’ lips kissed his once before latching firmly onto his neck, kissing him with soft sighs and sharp teeth as Harry’s hands fumbled with his zipper. It took Harry too long to get it undone, but when he did, he could feel the firm press of his cock, and he desperately wanted to get his hands on it. He wanted to see it.

Harry flipped Louis over, making him curse, “Come on, Curly! I was gonna do the work here!”

Harry leaned down, biting his lip with a smirk as Louis’ hands yanked Harry’s stretchy jeans down his legs. “You can do it after. It’s just – your cock is calling to me.”

“You did not just say that,” Louis said, head falling to the bed. Harry laughed, lips attaching to his neck and sucking a deep mark into the crest of his neck, turning Louis’ complaints into soft moans. “You’re lucky you’re fucking gorgeous, Haz. Otherwise, I definitely would have gone soft.”

Harry wasn’t very inclined to believe Louis seeing as he shifted down his lithe body and found his cock leaking over his stomach. It was a gorgeous sight. Harry had never seen anyone’s cock aside from his own in person.

“Jesus, Haz, you look terrified.” Louis’ words sounded harsh, but his breath was light and shaky, and Harry realized that he probably thought he was displeased.

“Nope,” Harry said, licking his lips and mentally preparing himself to try giving head for the first time. “I really like it.”

“It?” Louis repeated in a high voice.

“Your dick.” Harry clarified, hands gripping his thighs, which were so muscular it made his head spin. “Yeah. Wanna lick it. Can I?”

“Yes, love, that’s sort of how head works,” Louis said, but there was a soft smile growing on his lips. Harry took one more shuddering breath before he opened his lips, pulled back the bit of foreskin lightly, and wrapped his mouth around the head. Instantly, Louis cursed and bucked his hips upward, pushing Harry’s mouth further down the shaft. “Jesus, Haz, that feels amazing.”

His words gave Harry some confidence to really go for it, so he took Louis into the back of his throat until he gagged, almost but not quite getting it all. When he dragged his mouth back up, he let his tongue lap around the head. Louis whined high in his throat, making Harry want to smile, but he was too busy pressing his tongue into Louis’ slit. Instantly, hands wound into Harry’s curls, shoving his head back down the shaft. It was hot, and Harry went without a question, humming and choking once again.

“I’m close, babe. So fucking good,” Louis said, falling back on the bed and arching his back. Harry pulled back and sucked around the head, tongue flicking his foreskin occasionally as Louis moaned. Harry wanted him to come in his mouth so badly, so he took him all the way down and gripped his balls in one hand, squeezing slightly and moaning himself. “Harry!”  
  


A warm, sticky substance filled the back of Harry’s throat. It tasted salty, and the texture made it hard to swallow, but Harry found it so hot he didn’t care. Louis was panting, eyes dark and glazed from his orgasm as Harry licked at his dick one last time. He climbed up Louis’ body with a grin so wide it hurt his face, or maybe it was because he’d spent the last five minutes giving a blowjob.

“That was fun,” Harry said, kissing Louis as he rolled them over. Louis kissed back eagerly, tongue swirling into his mouth, demanding more from Harry’s tired tongue. Harry slid his hands up Louis’ thighs, making Louis shudder before Harry gripped his bum fully. “Fuck. Lou, your bum is, god, amazing.”

Louis smirked as he kissed down Harry’s neck, and then he shook his bum with purpose, making Harry groan. “You’re evil.”

“Hmm, gonna do something about it?” Louis looked up before his lips latched onto one of Harry’s nipples, making his body feel electrified with energy, but he didn’t miss the challenge in his eyes. Harry drew his hands back and smacked them down hard on Louis’ bottom, grinning at the feel of his plush skin move beneath his grip. Louis squeaked, falling against Harry with a beautiful little whimper.

“Better?” Harry licked his lips, enjoying the miniature glare Louis gave him before he moved further down his body. The sight was something out of a movie, and it was somehow happening to Harry. Louis’ hair was a mess, lips shiny, eyes mischievous, and nose pointed sharply, making his cheekbones pop. He inched along Harry’s dick, gripping the bottom of it in one hand, reminding Harry just how small Louis’ hands actually were.

“You don’t look terrified,” Harry said, hand caressing one of Louis’ cheeks affectionately. Louis glanced at him in question. “You look like you belong down there, baby.”

Louis jaw dropped open, but he didn’t protest. Instead, he pinched Harry’s hip once before moving his mouth over the head. As his fingers pulled down the foreskin, Harry worried he’d come before Louis even got his mouth around him. The burning pit in his stomach was so much to handle, and then Louis hallowed his cheeks and took him as far into his mouth as he could. Harry groaned, hands shaking with the urge to move Louis over his dick at a faster pace. As Louis came back up, spit was dripping down Harry’s cock and Louis’ chin, and it was the best site he’d ever seen.

Louis began bobbing his head, eyes closing with a soft smile, like he was truly enjoying giving Harry head, and it made this so much better. He twisted his hand as he went, making Harry feel like he was about to combust. “Lou, fuck, you’re taking my cock so well, baby.”

Louis hummed as his tongue pressed firmly against the underside of his cock. Harry’s head fell back, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he slipped into bliss. Harry clutched at Louis’ hair, pushing him deeper until he gagged a bit, but Louis didn’t seem to mind as he choked himself on his cock willingly.

Someone pounded on the door, but Harry was too close to deal with Niall pulling his leg. “We’re busy!”

“No, Harry, you need to – ah!”

Niall’s voice turned into a shrill shriek, so Harry hoped he left, but then the door opened. “Harry Edward Styles! This is exactly why we have the open-door policy!”

Harry looked up and met his mother’s eyes while Louis sucked his dick further down his throat with a loud sloppy noise that cut through the air unmissably. Essentially, his mind, body, and world exploded. He screamed, jerking up at the same time Louis’ whole body tensed, including his mouth. His teeth scraped painfully along Harry’s dick as Harry jolted off the bed.

“Boys! Get dressed and meet me downstairs _immediately!”_ Anne slammed the door shut, making Harry flinch as Louis raised up with fear in his eyes. They stared at each other as if trying to make sure that actually happened.

“I’m so dead,” Louis said in a whisper, looking at his lap like it was his own personal hell.

“My dick fucking hurts,” Harry said, hands cupping his _still hard cock_ and groaning.

“She’s going to call me parents, and they’re gonna kick me out.”

“I think my dick is bleeding.”

“They’re going to fookin disown me!” Louis shouted, pacing nakedly in front of the bed. This drew Harry’s attention.

“They’re not going to disown you. Don’t be ridiculous.” Harry shuffled into a sitting position. Louis looked ready to explode. “Mum won’t tell them. She’s pissed, but not heartless.”

At that, Louis released a deep breath of air, and then his eyes settled on Harry’s dick. “Oh my god. Fuck. I’m so sorry. I – she scared me! Is your dick okay? It has to be okay.”

He dropped to his knees on the floor and slapped Harry’s hands away. “It’s fine,” Harry said, voice high and tight. There was only a minor throbbing going through his system.

“No blood,” Louis said gratefully. “Just red marks. I’m sorry, Harry.” As if to prove that, he kissed the top of his dick, making Harry groan. It wasn’t a pleasant one, though. “Do you, uh, want-,”

“No!” Harry said, pulling back in case he got the bright idea to finish him off right now. “No, please. It was amazing until, like, the teeth. That, uh, that hurt. We need to talk to Mum now, and my dick needs to stop throbbing.”

“Fuck,” Louis ran a hand through his hair. His blue eyes were swirling with concern. He helped Harry to his feet and stood on his toes to kiss him, something Louis normally hated doing. He hated drawing attention to his height in general. They hurriedly got dressed. Louis practically dragged Harry down the stairs. There were a few of their friends still sitting in the living room, Lottie and Niall being among them. Anne was in the kitchen, so as they passed, Louis hissed at them. “Thanks a lot you useless fucks!”

“Hey! I banged on the door!” Niall said.

Harry sighed. “That would be the one time the circumstances would have called for you to enter without knocking, Niall. Would have preferred you to see us naked more than my mum.”

Lottie and Niall burst into laughter, so they kept moving until they found Anne in the kitchen, thankfully alone. She was throwing away cups. “Mum, we’ll clean that up. That was the deal. Please-,”

“Sit down, Harry,” Anne said with a sigh, gesturing at the barstools. “You too, Louis.”

Harry sat down, but Louis began pacing, moving closer to Anne with a wild expression. “Anne, I’m so sorry. We weren’t thinking and abused your trust and it was terribly, terribly wrong, but – but if my parents find out that I’m – that Harry and I – fuck-,”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Anne said, hands settling firmly on Louis’ shoulders. Her eyes were wide with concern as she tried to catch Louis’ wildly changing gaze. “I won’t say a word to your parents, Louis. I’d never do that.” She directed him to the other barstool, but Louis missed the frown she sent to Harry. He knew they’d be having another even more serious conversation after Louis left. “But you’re right. I trusted you both understood this party was not meant to be an excuse to give you alone time.”

Louis clutched at Harry’s hand. He was shaking less than before, but clearly this was a big scare for him. “Better than pulled over on the side of the road though, right?”

“Harold!” Louis squawked. “Shut up!”

Harry sighed. His mother was reasonable. He truly felt he could reason with her on any topic, but she wouldn’t budge on the topic of sex. It was infuriating, but he supposed everyone had certain unchangeable opinions. 

“Seriously, Harry. Take some responsibility. You have yet to apologize,” Anne said, smiling gently at Louis, who had begun shaking again. Harry scooted his stool close enough to rest his hand on Louis’ thigh. It only half settled the smaller boy.

“I’m sorry, Mum. Louis was right. We abused your trust.” Harry tilted his head onto Louis’ shoulder, blinking his eyes slowly in the way that used to butter her up when he was younger. Her stern expression didn’t change, so he didn’t hold much hope. “We weren’t thinking. Come on, Mum. Haven’t you ever been young, buzzed, and in love?”

“In love?” Louis repeated in a squeak. Harry looked at him harshly. “Oh, uh, yeah. In love. All that.”

Anne wasn’t amused. She pinched the bridge of her nose and looked between them. “I won’t ground you, Harry. You’re much too old for that now. You’ll be on laundry duty for the month, though, okay? Don’t let it happen again.”

“It won’t! We swear!” Louis said much too loudly. Anne offered him a soft smile, patting his cheek as she passed.

“You’re much too tense, darling. Be yourself here, Louis. Things stay within this house unless you say otherwise.”

When she left, Louis groaned, head falling onto the counter as he took deep breaths. His skin was clammy, and Harry was genuinely concerned. “My life flashed before my eyes.”

Harry bit his lip, unsure if he was being dramatic or not. “Jokes on her. I enjoy doing the laundry.” Louis picked his head up with a dead, unamused expression. He walked forward without changing his expression at all until he ran between Harry’s legs, head pressed against his chest. “Lou…would it be that bad?”

“Yes,” Louis said, fists clenching Harry’s shirt. “You saw the ‘nice’ show they put on for guests. My cousin came out as bi and they told her parents to send her to conversation therapy camp.”  
  


Harry stiffened. That wasn’t something commonly heard of, and it sounded terrifying. If Louis’ parents were as serious as Louis made it sound, Harry was concerned for his actual safety. His heart started beating faster as he pulled Louis back to look him over. He seemed to be holding back tears.

“Are you serious? Your parents would send you to – seriously?” Harry ran his hands over his arms, wishing he could reassure Louis, but there really wasn’t much to do. It was a terrifying thought, worsened by the fact that Harry could have no way of physically finding Louis to save him if his parents did somehow find out. Louis could be taken from him overnight. It made Harry sick to his stomach.

Louis shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “I dunno. They didn’t seem too convinced those things work. Even after me cousin started dating a guy, they don’t let her come over. Don’t even speak to her mum.”

Harry shuddered, eyes searching for those blue ones. Finally, Louis looked at him, and there were definite tears in his eyes. He faked a sheepish smile anyways. “It’s alright. They don’t suspect anything. They love the straight, footballer Louis. It’s good acting practice, innit?”

Harry bit his lip, hands wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer. “What about the gorgeous, gay theater-kid Louis?” At that, Louis could only shake his head as tears fell down his cheeks. Harry felt his own heart break. “I’m sorry, Louis. Your parents should love you no matter what. Unconditionally.”  
  


“I know,” Louis said, sucking in air as Harry wiped his tears away with his thumb. “They don’t though. They’d actually hate me if they knew. It’s whatever. Just…gotta work with it.”

“Baby,” Harry said, voice thick and solemn. He pulled Louis against him tightly, wishing he could say the words Louis needed to hear, that he was loved unconditionally by _someone._ It was too soon, though, and when he heard it, it needed to sound believable, even if Harry was getting more and more certain of that with each passing day. “You’re an amazing person, Louis. If your parents won’t accept you how you are, that is their flaw. Not yours. You deserve more love than they give you. So much more.”

Louis sniffled, kissing Harry’s cheek as he pulled back. “I know that. Obviously.” Harry began to blush, growing embarrassed for assuming otherwise, but then Louis’ lips were on his, kissing him earnestly, tongue pressing against his with passion. “But that felt really good to hear.”

“Yeah?”

Louis nodded, smiling as he wrapped his arms around his neck to kiss him again. “Yeah.” Kissing Louis felt addictive. He’d never snogged someone so many times with it feeling like their first repeatedly. “How’s your dick, by the way?”

“Still sore,” Harry said, licking into Louis’ lips with glee. “Still hard.”

Louis laughed, nuzzling into Harry’s neck and whispering his apologies. It was then that Lottie walked through the door. “Thank god. You’re both decent.”

“So funny.”

“We need to go. It’s late,” Lottie said. “Happy birthday, Harry. Mum keeps asking when you’ll come over again.”

Harry hugged Louis firmly again. “Next weekend? Don’t think my mum would like to hear me staying over at your house tomorrow.”

“Works for me! We can practise for the next musical auditions!” Louis grinned, giving him a wink. “And practise a few other things.”

“Gross!” Lottie huffed, grabbing Louis and dragging him out the door.

“Happy Birthday, Curly!”

. . .

“He might like this,” Anne said, pointing to a grey beanie. It looked very similar to the one Louis wore last week to school. Harry shook his head. “Oh. Well, what about that band tee?”

“Yeah, that could work,” Harry said, but he felt no excitement looking at it. “I just – I want to get him something he could get himself.”

“Do you have something in mind?” Anne asked, putting back the shirt and beanie. Harry shifted between his feet. “It’s only a first date, Harry. Giving him any gift will mean a lot to him.”

“I know,” Harry said with a sigh. “But he wouldn’t like me getting him ‘random’ gifts all the time when I notice his parents wouldn’t approve of something, so I really need to use this opportunity.”

They made their way to a new boutique, one Harry shopped at often. Anne was pursing her lips, so Harry knew there was a question she was struggling to hold back. Before she could ask, a woman dressed in a glittering pink jacket and baggy green joggers called out to them.

“Harry Styles! I haven’t seen you here in over two weeks! Where have you been?” Lou walked out from behind the desk and pulled him into a hug. Lou was his favorite salesperson that worked here. They were all nice, but Lou never failed to help him put together outfits and hype him up. Most of the time, he didn’t have the money to buy anything, but they always had fun.

“He found himself a boyfriend,” Anne said, nudging him teasingly. Harry groaned, muttering under his breath that she was embarrassing him, but she didn’t take it to heart. He honestly loved hearing the word boyfriend attached to him.

“Shut up!” Lou screamed, making another customer look at her with a scowl. She giggled, covering her mouth. “Sorry. Alright, let me see a picture!”

Blushing, he pulled up Louis’ Instagram. “We haven’t taken one together yet…”

“Oh, he’s a cutie.” Lou scrolled through picture after picture. “You sure he’s not straight? He seems pretty-,”

“Oh, he’s sure,” Anne said, glaring at Harry, who quickly looked to the ceiling, hoping they would drop this conversation. “Louis is still in the closet to his parents, so Harry wants to get him something they wouldn’t allow him to get.”

“He tried on a black sheer shirt once, and I think he loved it, but I couldn’t find it. Oh! Also, these pink leather trousers? But I don’t think he loved the pink part of them…” Harry frowned, unsure which would be better to get him. Lou hummed, eyes dancing around the room.

“Oh! I know! Come with me!”  
  


She led them to the clearance rack in the back, which excited Harry even more. They sifted through some clothing until Lou pulled out a long sleeve button down black shirt that had metallic gold designs creating over each shoulder. Harry could imagine it on Louis immediately. It was the perfect mix of flamboyant and classy.

“That’s perfect!” Harry grabbed at it, holding it up and trying to see if it would fit Louis. He looked to Anne for her thoughts only to find her holding up a pair of gold, slightly metallic jean-like trousers. “Oh. My. God.”

“Ow-ow.” Lou called out. “You better take him somewhere posh with that outfit! But be ready for some stares.”

“How much for both?” Harry asked, breath speeding up. There was a horribly strong desire to get this outfit for Louis. It was hard to tell who wanted Louis in a flaming outfit more; Louis to embrace himself or Harry just to look at him.

“Thirty pounds,” Lou said, eyebrows pinched. “It’s honestly a good deal for this boutique.”

  
Harry breathed out deeply. He’d only planned on spending twenty pounds or less. Louis would probably flip out otherwise. Surely he could lie about the price, right? He did have the money. It would be fine. He didn’t need to drink so much iced coffee anyhow.

“He’ll take both,” Anne said, reaching into her purse and handing Harry ten pounds. He gaped at her. “Well if his parents won’t get him something he’ll love, then I ought to! Come on, Harry. I am starving.”

Harry flung his arms around Anne, kissing her cheek as he said, “Thank you, Mum. I love you.”

She ruffled his hair as they made their way to checkout. Lou bid Harry goodbye with the request of receiving a picture of him and Louis dressed up in these clothes. With his mission completed, Harry and Anne got lunch at a local café and sat down to wait for their food. Harry could feel Anne staring at him, and he had the urge to respond to Louis’ text and tell him so much, but he resisted. He still felt guilty for letting Anne pay for part of the clothes, though Harry suspected Anne knew as much.

“Can I voice a concern without you getting upset?” Anne asked as she sipped on her tea. Harry frowned.

“Of course.”

Anne set her tea down and looked at her hands momentarily before saying, “I worry about Louis sometimes. The things he says about his parents – they’re concerning.”

“I do, too,” Harry said and cleared his throat. His heart beat faster. “I thought he was exaggerating, but I’m starting to wonder if he’s serious about what would happen if his parents found out.”

Anne’s fingers drummed on the table worriedly. “What would happen if they found out, Harry? It worries me that you’ll be staying in the house of people who are that unreasonable.”

Harry sighed deeply. He rubbed at his temples, trying to settle his thoughts. “I’m not sure. I’d think they’d have me leave and yell at Louis, or something, but I don’t see how they would find out. We, uh, stay in separate rooms and all that. They may or may not think I’m dating Lottie…”

Anne gasped, smacking Harry on the arm with a mischievous look on her face. “You two are evil! Geniuses, but evil!” She exhaled in relief, and Harry felt like he’d just swallowed a bomb. He’d never blatantly lied to his mother before. She’d never let him stay with Louis if she thought they slept together, though. “Alright. Just be careful. Louis seems like he has a handle on hiding himself to everyone, but you don’t.”

“Yeah,” Harry said with a laugh. “I thought he was homophobic when I first spoke to him outside of the play.”

Their name was called, so Harry got up and grabbed the food for them both. When he sat back down, Anne was still laughing. “I’m glad you got him to open up to you, then.”

Harry smirked to himself, hiding it behind a bite of his croissant. Anne had no idea how much Harry planned to get him to open up to him next weekend.

. . .

“Harry! It’s been so long! How are you, deary?” Jay pulled him into a hug before he could answer, squeezing him so tightly he couldn’t breathe. When she stepped back, she looked him over. “Have you been eating enough?”

“Mum, stop smothering him,” Louis said as he hopped down the stairs. Harry focused on keeping his expression neutrally happy as Louis came into sight instead of letting the desire show, but he definitely felt it. His hair was styled to perfection, and his lips were slightly redder than usual. He looked stunning aside from his clothes, but Harry could fix that soon. “Alright, you twat. We have to wait for Lottie. What are we eating tonight? Pizza?”

Harry grinned, looking at Jay with purpose. “It’s a surprise.” Louis made a face of confusion; Harry had originally told him pizza. He wanted to sweep him off his feet and completely woo him for their first official date.

Jay walked past Harry and pinched his cheek. “Harry, you’re staying the night, right? The twins are dying to play monopoly with you tonight, and that takes ages to finish.”

“I’d love to,” Harry said. “As long as Louis doesn’t mind sharing his room with me.”

Louis scoffed, rolling his eyes as he slung an arm around Harry’s shoulders in a very heterosexual fashion. It was kind of funny to think about. “Lottie’s lucky I’m actually friends with you. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be willing to go on these stupid dates or share my room.”

Jay laughed affectionately as she kissed his cheek. “You are quite the angel, Lou. Have you two always been friends then? You never mentioned Harry before.”

Harry laughed immediately. “I wouldn’t say friends exactly, but I’ve always known him through years of practise at school. We just never talked much before, er, Lottie.”

“Practise?” Jay asked. “You’re on the football team, too?”

Louis coughed loudly, meeting Harry’s eyes and reminding him painfully that they were speaking to his mum who had no idea about Louis’ ‘gay’ lifestyle. Harry rocked back on his heels as he desperately thought of a way to get out this.

“He was!” Louis said loudly, cheeks somewhat red. “He was horrid, though. Never played. No offense, mate. That’s why you quit though, right?”

Lottie came running down the stairs as Harry nodded. “Uh, yeah. I decided my last year shouldn’t be wasted on something I’m terrible at.”

Lottie laughed. “You were a nightmare to see.”

“Hmm. Odd. I feel like I’d remember seeing your curls on the sidelines,” Jay said, glancing between the trio with confusion before she shrugged.

“You were probably busy watching me be a star out there anyways, Mum,” Louis said with a smug grin. “Alright! Let’s get some food! Bye, Mum!”

The moment they were out the door, Louis and Lottie both smacked Harry upside the head. “Idiot,” Louis said, harsher than Harry had expected. Lottie sent him a look.

“Rude. He’s not used to hiding shite,” Lottie said, patting Harry’s arm as they climbed into his car.  
  


“Sorry,” Louis said, exhaling deeply and scratching at his neck nervously.

“It’s alright,” Harry said, voice only a little quieter than normal. He felt stupid. It wasn’t hard to remember something so obvious. It was just that Jay came off as _so_ nice most of the time. “My bad.”

“No,” Louis said, grabbing his hand and pulling it to his lips. When he kissed his hand, it made Harry smile. He felt a little less ridiculous. “Now what’s this I hear about not getting pizza?”

Harry glanced in the mirror and shared a mischievous look with Lottie. He turned the corner, heading in the direction of Niall’s house. He lived five minutes from Louis’ house compared to the forty that Harry did. “It’s not a date if I’m third-wheeling,” Lottie said, kicking her feet up on the middle console. “I’m going to go hang out at Niall’s.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question.”

“I have a gift for you,” Harry said, blush forming on his cheeks. He glanced nervously as Louis. “I wanted tonight to be special, so I made reservations at Giovanni’s.”

Louis’ jaw dropped open. “Harry! That place is way too posh for my joggers!”

Harry grinned, pulling up in front of Niall’s house. “That’s what the gift is for. Come on.”

Louis was still protesting as he made his way into Niall’s house. The Horan residence was empty aside from Niall’s blonde head jumping around. His hair looked freshly bleached. He often told Niall he was concerned the bleach was leaking into his brain, to which he pouted until he apologized.

“I’m making steak! Don’t want it to burn!” Niall yelled from inside the kitchen. “Your clothes are in the bathroom! Lottie, babe, come smell this masterpiece in the making!”

Lottie set her purse down with a laugh. “It smells like burnt cow.”

“Does not! Er, maybe…help?”  
  


Louis looked at Harry in question, as if he wasn’t sure it was safe to leave his sister in Niall’s hands. Harry didn’t quite know if it was or not. “Come on. The reservation is in twenty minutes,” Harry said, gripping Louis’ hand and pulling him into the hall bathroom.

It was a little too cramped for two people. The bags sat on the small counter. Harry’s was a simple reusable grocery bag. Louis’ clothes were still in the boutique’s bag. Harry grabbed that and handed it to Louis with a smile that felt too big. “Niall said you should fit into his dress shoes. Um, also, I wanted to give you make up, but I figure you can keep this at my house. Which means you could just use my make up. I brought some, though. Stuff that’s easy to, you know, uh, wipe off.”

Louis smiled at him curiously. It wasn’t his favorite smile of Louis’, but it was the one that made him look purer and more radiant than any of his other ones. “You shouldn’t have gotten me anything, babe.”

Harry shrugged. “I wanted to ask you out, but you beat me to it, so…” It wasn’t the real reason, but Harry suspected Louis understood that the moment he looked into the bag and pulled out the clothes. He lied them carefully on the counter and stared at them silently. The make-up stayed in the bag. “If you don’t like the make-up or aren’t, uh, into that stuff, you don’t have to wear it.”

His head turned slowly, and there was a sneaky smile on his lips as he said, “I, erm, don’t know how to use it. Lottie always does my stage make-up.” Harry opened his mouth, but he still didn’t know Louis’ thoughts on make-up. He worried he was overstepping. “Can you do it for me?”

Instantly, Harry beamed. “Of course.”

Harry took the lip gloss, highlighter, and mascara from the bag. There were already wipes in the car, and he told Louis as much as he took the mascara wand out. Harry carefully applied make up to Louis’ already long lashes as well as his own. Brushing the highlighter onto his skin felt just like memorizing his face with his fingers. Harry wanted to do it to his whole face. Judging by the soft, content smile on Louis’ lips, he could do the same. Once they applied the lip gloss, Louis began to turn around, but Harry stopped him.

“Now the clothes.”

  
Louis groaned as he picked up the shirt. “I can’t believe you got me this, Harry. It’s too much. It’s – wow. Thank you.”

Harry giggled, hurriedly dressing himself in similar clothing that surely wouldn’t look as good as Louis’. “Wanted to see you dressed up how we both would like.”

  
Louis snorted as he shook off his joggers. Harry’s eyes got stuck on the tight black briefs he wore. He knew what was underneath, and he wanted to see it again. Hopefully, they’d save that for later. “More like how you want to see me from behind. Jesus, Haz, are these gonna fit.”

Part of Harry hoped they wouldn’t fit, that they’d be impossibly tight on him all night. As he yanked them over his thick thighs, they fit snugly into place. If Louis even got half-hard at dinner, Harry was sure he’d be able to tell. The trousers looked painted on. Louis busied himself with buttoning up the shirt, but Harry couldn’t stop staring.

“You know, we could just skip dinner. I’m not above messing up Niall’s bed. He owes me.”  
  


Louis rolled his eyes, turning around to shoot Harry a smirk in the mirror, but his expression dropped when he took himself in. His biceps were bulging against the slightly-silk material, and his slim waist was more accentuated than normal. His cheek bones were shimmering as he tilted his face slowly, eyes glinting as he admired himself. Harry understood. He stepped behind him, lips kissing his neck while his hands slid down his body.

“You look properly fit, Lou,” Harry said, nipping at his skin lightly and struggling to keep himself from pressing his hips into his defined bum.

“I really do…” Louis’ voice was light, mixed in disbelief and pride. His eyes moved to Harry, and then he turned around, leaning against the counter and licking at his lips. “Fuck, so do you, Haz. Damn.”

Harry felt heat rush through him, but he managed not to break his gaze away from Louis’ bright, excited eyes. “Sex?”

“Sex,” Louis said, hands going for Harry’s belt instantly, but they stilled the moment they made contact. “Wait. I really wanna go out like this. Normally when I look good, it’s only for pretend. This is me this time. For real.”

Despite the upsetting delay, Harry smiled. He grabbed Louis’ hand and squeezed it. “Probably a good idea. I’m starving.” He grabbed his phone and stepped directly behind Louis, pressing his lips against his ear. “I won’t forget to tease you back later tonight, though.”

Louis didn’t seem sure whether to laugh or smirk, so he did both. Harry took that opportunity to take a picture. His bum looked great in the mirror, but Harry spun him around to get a good shot of his face. He made sure to get one of them smiling to show everyone and also one of Harry kissing his neck enough to make Louis’ eyes slip closed and head fall against Harry’s chest.

As requested, their table was in the back room with low lighting, making it feel very intimate. The table was round and small with a short candle in the middle.

“This is my first date,” Louis said, smiling almost to himself. “You’re my first everything so far.” Harry wanted to be able to take away those last two words. “I didn’t think I’d have special firsts. Never thought I’d be the type to make them mean something.”

Harry shifted in his seat. “I’m glad you get to. You’re my first, as well. For everything except my first kiss and, um, hand job.”

A brilliant smile lit up Louis’ face, shocked and somewhat unnerved. “You never told me that! Who broke my Harry in? Do I need to have a word with him?”

Harry shook his head instantly. He grabbed his water and took a big gulp of it. “It’s not like that,” Harry said, wishing he’d just lied. Louis’ smile slipped away the longer he stayed silent, though. The waitress chose that moment to introduce herself with a bright smile and lingering eyes that made Harry feel worse. Harry eagerly ordered them both a glass of wine, not planning on having more than that for himself, though he wished he could now.

“Sorry,” Louis said, clearing his throat. “You don’t have to talk about it. I didn’t realize you were ever close enough with anyone to get hurt.”

“You really did stalk me as much as I did you, huh?” Harry asked, trying to grin like he normally would, but the memory still painfully flashed in his eyes. Louis blushed but didn’t comment on it. “I wasn’t attached to him or anything, but… It was a summer fling on a beach, yeah? I’d been hanging out with him and his friends all week. It was the first time I realized gender didn’t really influence who I was attracted to. And this guy was nice and flirty with everyone, but he kissed me one night, so I thought – I don’t know.”

Louis had a pinched expression, as if he could sense this wasn’t going to end well. He didn’t seem upset like some would at hearing of their partner’s past experiences. Harry appreciated that. This story was bad enough without getting scorned for bringing it up. The waitress gave them the wine and looked to Harry to see if he wanted any appetizers, but he hadn’t even gotten a chance to look for any. Luckily, Louis asked for cheese sticks.

“As posh as this place is, I must bring some immaturity to it.” Louis’ eyes were soft, and he grabbed Harry’s hand over the table. “Go on, love.”

The term of endearment made Harry sigh softly. It was still a shock to hear, as if one day Louis may actually love him. It alone was enough to assure Harry that Louis could never be Simon from the beach.

“Simon was his name,” Harry blurted to get the story going again. “The next night when everyone was drunk by the fire, we took a ‘walk’ and hid in the dunes. I couldn’t even see it was so dark, but he told me to give him a wank. I didn’t want to – really nervous and all – but he convinced me I’d like it, so I did. It didn’t last long before his friends found us. Simon – he jumped up and started screaming that I was a ‘disgusting fag that had been getting off to all of the guys there this whole time.’ Simon started kicking the sand at me, and then his friends joined in, and that led to them kicking me around a bit, but eventually they left.”

Louis’ hand had slowly tightened around Harry’s. There was a look of saddened pain on his face. It wasn’t solely disgust. There was a look of a man who could _feel_ that encounter, who’d heard those words and worried over that exact fate constantly. He understood.

“It didn’t hurt that much,” Harry said with a short, sick laugh. “I looked like hell, blood gushing out of my nose, but…even now I most remember the angry looks on their faces. Like I was some freak. As if I’d be better off dead. Like I alone was what was wrong with the world.”

Louis looked down, speaking low. “How can people hate people for something that doesn’t even affect them?”

Harry looked up, finding the blue darkened in his eyes. “People are scared of change. They’re scared of anything different.”

Louis rolled his eyes with a smile. “Guess some of us really can shove it in their faces. Doesn’t really help anyone ease into acceptance, does it?”

Harry frowned, unsure if he heard him correctly. Louis took his hand back to begin roaming over the menu. His expression was neutral. It hurt Harry a little.

“And you think anyone would change if they weren’t forced to?” Harry asked, willing his voice to be gentle despite the pounding of his heart. Those words weren’t Louis’. They were planted there by his parents, and it sickened Harry.

Louis looked up. Harry watched as his eyes moved while he struggled to think through the conversation and catch up. “I guess not…”

“You held my hand. Is that shoving it in their face?”

Louis took a deep breath, sitting up straighter in his seat with a firm expression. “It’s dark here. I didn’t mean to start a fight-,”

“It’s not a fight,” Harry said, wishing he could make it as clear as it felt to him. “I painted my whole body in rainbow save for my underwear for pride week last year. I just need to rethink what I do around you so I don’t shove it in your face.”

Louis narrowed his eyes. The air between them had completely shifted. Louis was about to speak, but the waitress interrupted them with bread. Louis ordered a steak, and Harry hadn’t gotten a chance to look at the menu, so he went with gnocchi pesto, which the waitress praised him for.

The silence waned on. The fire in the candle flickered without sound, casting perfect lighting but letting their unspoken words terrorize the other. All around them, people chattered on effortlessly. Harry suddenly felt like they’d both done something wrong.

“I didn’t mean to be so aggressive with what I said,” Harry admitted, making Louis snort sardonically. He finally looked at him and his burning blue eyes. “But it’s true. If that’s how you feel, I -,”

“I don’t care when you’re all extra,” Louis groaned, like it was an obvious statement. “I just understand why the older generations get annoyed when we’re extra.”

“You’re gay,” Harry said. “You’re not very flamboyant or ‘extra.’”

“Well, yes,” Louis said, beginning to roll his eyes, but Harry grabbed his hand instead, holding on as strongly as he hoped Louis could understand him.

“If people find me annoying, that’s fine. It’s when they think being in the LGBTQ+ community means we’re all ‘annoying’ and flamboyant.” Harry insisted, eyes pleading with Louis’ to understand. “It’s when we do the same things as hetero couples and get stared or yelled at. The pride parades are there to offer hope and allies to those who are scared to come out because of the harassment and prejudice. To those who struggle to accept that they are _normal_ , and those who don’t find them normal are the ones with issues. We want to normalize it – not shove it in anyone’s face.”

Louis sniffled and blinked rapidly, looking away from Harry as he collected himself. “I never thought of it like that,” Louis said, voice a little clogged. His breathing grew rapid as he looked at his lap and picked at the shirt. He began shifting, like he was suddenly uncomfortable in his seat. In his clothes. Then, he looked up. There was a wild, desperate look in his eyes. “Haz. Can – I need -,”

Harry moved his chair directly beside Louis’, uncaring if they got some stares for it. “Breathe, baby. What do you need, Lou?”

He took in dangerously shallow breaths as he shook his head and stared at the table. “I can’t be your boyfriend. I – I don’t want to be some kid that you have to teach.”

Harry grabbed both his hands, squeezing them tight. “You’re not. I promise.”

Louis stole his hands back to wipe at his cheeks, looking at Harry with disdain. “I am. I say things that are homophobic, and I want to ask questions that don’t make sense. I’m fucking gay, right? So why can’t I answer them? I’m as bad as me fucking parents.”

Louis’ eyes shifted around the room with fear. Harry instantly shook his head, hands growing clammy. He wished he could simplify this for Louis. He wished he could make it better for him, but this was on Louis.

“You’re not, and you know that,” Harry said. He sat back in his seat, heart racing. Louis looked at him tiredly. He seemed so lost. “Louis, this was bound to happen. You’ve never had any non-straight friends, and your parents are insanely close-mindedly homophobic. It’s what you grew up around. It’s all you knew for years.”

Louis winced, looking at Harry like he’d just sentenced him to death. There were tears in his eyes. “I don’t want to be like them.”

“You don’t have to be,” Harry said. “You just have to relearn things from a different perspective.” Louis bit his lip. “I’ll help. If you have questions, I’ll answer them.”

Louis scowled. “It will make you hate me.”

Harry grinned, kissing him on the cheek. “If it makes you feel better, we can temporarily break up every time you have a question.”

Louis burst into laughter, head hanging as he wiped at his nose. It should have been gross, but Harry found it adorable. He grabbed his napkin and ran it along his moist cheeks. Louis gave him a look of amusement. “You’re ridiculous. I love it.” For a moment, Harry worried he was going to say he loved him. It was terrifying, but it was also something he hoped would happen one day. “I don’t deserve you.”

Harry laughed, moving his chair back to its original spot. “You do. It’s good you aren’t as perfect as I used to think you are. I was terrified to say anything to you for years, you know.”

Louis laughed loudly. “You’re lying.”

“I swear! I-,”

“Here is your food. You got the meat right?” The waitress, whose nametag red Grace, said flippantly. Before Louis could get a word out, she sat the plate down swiftly and turned to grab the other plate of food. “And you – I forgot your name,” Grace said with a breezy smile, looking at Harry like they shared a secret.

“That’s because he never gave you his name,” Louis huffed, crossing his arms. Harry gave him a funny look, unsure why he was being short.

“It’s Harry. This looks delicious,” he said, smiling pleasantly at Grace. She was careful about putting the plate down in front of Harry, bending over a lot. When her shirt slipped down to reveal her chest, Harry quickly averted his gaze and looked at Louis was wide eyes of shock. Louis was not amused.

“I made sure they gave you extra sauce,” Grace said in a secretive whisper as she straightened up. “Put it on the potatoes. It’s amazing.” She gave him a wink and stepped away, and now Harry understood why Louis was scowling so heavily.

“Um, thank you,” he said as he felt a kick underneath the table. Suddenly, Louis reached forward and grabbed his hand. Grace frowned slightly. The glare was still etched into Louis’ features, so Harry leaned forward and pressed his lips to the back of Louis’ palm. “I don’t know what looks better to eat. The food or you, darling.”

Grace cleared her throat, now standing almost against the nearest table. “Let me know if I can get you anything else.” Then she practically ran away.

Louis grew a pleased smile on his lips. “You’re too cheesy.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Would you rather have me flirt back with her?”

Instantly, Louis scowled, pinching Harry’s wrist and pulling away to begin cutting his food. “No. Flirt with me only.”

Harry licked his lips, eyeing the determined look in Louis’ eyes. “I intend to. I was serious about what I said, by the way.”

Louis sputtered, looking precariously at Harry, but he offered him no room for comfort. With a dirty wink, Harry dug into the food, and Louis had no choice but to hurry on. When the bill came, Harry tried to take it, but Louis grabbed for it first.

“Let me pay! I asked you out and knowingly made reservations at an expensive place,” Harry said, looking to Grace with an intensely serious expression. “Grace, the bill, please?”

Louis cleared his throat, straightening in his seat. “As someone who has been flirting with my boyfriend all night, Grace, I believe you owe me. Bill please?”

Grace looked between the pair for one sheepish second before she thrust the bill in Louis’ face. She glanced apologetically at Harry. “He’s right. Sorry, by the way. I didn’t – anyways, have a good night.”

Harry glared at Louis the entire time it took to walk to the car, but when he realized Louis had also possessively kept his arm around his waist, it was hard to keep the frown on his face. It was raining, so Louis was shaking by the time they got back into the car. He turned the heat and music up before leaning over the console and pressing his lips to Harry’s cheek. For the rest of the ride to Niall’s house, they sang at the top of their lungs to old rock music, grinning like the world was at their fingertips. The make-up was harder to get off than expected with the mascara running down their eyes and making them both look like racoons, but eventually they found themselves in their relaxing clothes with their ‘glam’ bags sitting in the backseat beside a grinning Lottie.

“He kissed me.”

Louis spun around so fast Harry worried he’d get whiplash. “He did what? I’ll kill him!”

Lottie groaned. “I wanted him to, you idiot.”

“Gross,” Louis said. “Does this mean you won’t fake date Harry anymore?”

“I don’t want to date him, god. We’re just…having a good time,” Lottie said, voice going higher than normal. She leaned forward and patted Harry’s chest affectionately. “I could never break up with Haz.”  
  


Louis sat back in his seat with a confused expression. Harry imagined he didn’t like the idea of his sister possibly being used for Niall’s pleasure, but Louis didn’t comment on it further. Knowing Niall, Harry was more worried he was the one getting used in their situation.

“It took him long enough,” Harry said with a laugh. Lottie tugged at his curl with an impish smile.

The house was slightly chaotic when they got back. They’d started the game of monopoly, and the moment Fizzy saw their arrival, she announced that she was quitting and that one of them could take her spot. Phoebe did the same. Both girls stomped away with angry expressions, enough to make Harry question if it was really that competitive of a game or if they were being slightly dramatic.

Harry and Lottie took Phoebe’s hand, and Louis took Fizzy’s. Both girls were doing poorly. When Jay loudly mocked them as they left, Harry began to realize why they did so. “They’re just a bunch of babies, Harry. Can’t stand to lose to me, that’s all.”

Harry laughed politely, watching as most of the kids rolled their eyes. Jay was more into the game than Daisy, who only huffed as she had to pay rent on a hotel to Jay, nearly bankrupting her hand. They played with specific and different rules than Harry was used to, so Lottie controlled most of their hand. Louis claimed despite the horrid start that he could come back, and he nearly did. He managed to get a hotel on two of his properties, though Jay protested he was building unevenly and made him rearrange the houses.

Lottie and Harry went out quickly, though neither of them seemed to care very much. Louis gave them a teasing look, which made Harry laugh. “Aww, I beat the happy couple! Who would have thought? Well, I would, but, what can I say?” Jay shrugged with a pleased grin.

“Aw, well, you haven’t won yet, Mum,” Louis said with a tight smile.

Louis gave Jay a good fight, but she simply had too much money. When she eventually killed off Louis an hour later, Harry was still watching. Lottie had gone to bed after they lost, giving Harry a kiss on the cheek to really seal the show. Louis had instantly frowned. It only made Harry’s heart burst with pride when that frown was far deeper than the one caused by losing. He took the loss lightly, even when Jay tried to rub it in his face even more.

“Alright, Harry. I need to win at something. Let’s go play Fifa,” Louis said, ruffling Harry’s hair and shoving him toward his room. “Night, Mum.”

“Goodnight boys!”

Once they were safely in Louis’ room, Louis flopped motionlessly on the bed and groaned loudly into the comforter. “She’s exhausting.”

The room was as barren as ever. It amazed Harry that Louis could have such few things to his name. His closet had his bag of football things, and there was a hidden compartment under his bed that he kept things for the theater and anything else ‘explicit.’ Still, it seemed impossibly small. The floor panel hiding his box was slightly ajar, so Harry made a note to fix it before his parents noticed.

“Do you want to run lines still?” Harry asked. They’d been running lines all week after his football practise. The auditions were this Monday, but they were both not horribly concerned about getting the roles they wanted. Their school didn’t have a ton of talent. Louis looked up with irritation, making Harry giggle and sit beside him on the bed. “Or I could give you a massage? Cuddles?”

Louis’ lips lifted as Harry ran a hand up and down his back in a soothing manner. Harry enjoyed seeing Louis slowly relax and become more pliant under his hand. He could feel the energy just drain out of him.

“Cuddles. Wanna shower and shit first, though,” Louis said before pushing himself up. He briefly leaned into Harry’s side and pressed his lips to his cheek.

“Have a good poop then! Thanks for telling me,” Harry said with a snicker, expecting Louis to scowl and slap him on the head for twisting his words around. Instead, his cheeks grew red and he sputtered out in annoyance before heading for the bathroom. He turned around at the door, cheeks redder than Harry had ever seen them before, including when Harry gave him head.

“Er, check out my secret stash, and uh, tell me what you think when I get out, okay?” Louis disappeared before Harry could ask questions. Louis was acting odd, and he normally wasn’t one to ask for Harry’s opinion on something, so it made Harry very curious.

When he bent down and pushed the ajar floorboard aside more, he was faced the same box Louis had shown him once and a second paper brown bag that looked like it came from a random shop. Harry pulled the bag out considering it was the only thing different about the compartment.

He almost stopped breathing when he opened the bag. It had obviously been opened a few times before, and the receipt lying on top of the two items showed one item was missing. Finally, it clicked in his thick head.

Louis had gone to the store and bought condoms, lube, and an anal douche.

Harry suddenly felt lightheaded. He glanced to the door and ran over to lock it. The worst thing he could do to ruin the night was to expose Louis to his parents. As he sat on the bed, he stared at the two objects. Louis wanted to have sex. They’d been inching their way towards this, but Harry didn’t expect him to actually want to so soon. Harry was still reminding himself daily that he wasn’t fantasying the fact that he was dating Louis Tomlinson.

Then, he thought about the missing item and glanced toward the bathroom door. The shower had been running since he stepped inside, meaning Louis was likely _using the douche at that very moment._ It should have been a little gross. It should have been disgusting thinking about his boyfriend shitting, but Harry was a guy in love with a guy, even if he hadn’t said as much. They’d already burped and farted around each other, both of which ended in them laughing hysterically. He didn’t care. In fact, thinking about Louis sticking anything up his bum, even for only a short time, made heat flush down from his head to his toes.  
  
Harry wanted this.

He’d always wanted Louis in all ways possible, but with the possibility of it happening within the next hour, Harry felt extremely nervous and extremely turned on. Images of Louis beneath him, mouth open as Harry brought his whole world to a halt flashed through his mind endlessly. He wanted this so badly. It was terrifying in all the right ways.

Harry hadn’t even noticed Louis opening the door. A grey towel hung low from his hips, and his hair was still wet with water. He was biting his lip, looking at Harry with as much nervousness as Harry felt. Louis never had been subtle about his emotions when it was just the two of them.

“Is it too fast?” Louis asked, voice as rough as his eyes. “It’s too fast. I’m sorry. We don’t-,”

Harry moved before he could think about it. His hands found Louis’ hips and pulled him against his chest, savoring the feel of his plush flesh and sweet scent in his hands. “Can you be quiet enough to do this?”

Louis frowned, not following his words. Harry watched as the pupils in those bright blue eyes took over more of the color. When he realized what Harry meant, his hands wrapped around his neck. “Obviously.”

“You weren’t very quiet when I had your dick in my mouth,” Harry said, licking his lips and struggling to keep his hands stationary. “Niall told me ‘good job’ because you apparently sounded like I knew what it was doing.’”

Louis grinned, leaning into Harry’s gasp as his eyes danced around his face. “Took you a second, but…yeah, you did.” Harry smirked, pressing his forehead against Louis’. Their shared breaths tickled his nose. “I’ll be quiet now, Haz.”

Their eyes met, soft green meeting cold blue. Harry believed him. The circumstances were different tonight. They couldn’t be overheard. Everything rested on remaining in the dark, and Louis wouldn’t risk losing what they had for anything.

“Good,” Harry said before bending down and connecting their lips, kissing Louis with as much anxious energy as he felt. Louis pushed back against his chest as he licked into Harry’s mouth, making them fall back onto the bed. Louis climbed on top of Harry, his small body rolling into Harry and making his heart race faster. Harry didn’t know where to touch first. He loved every part of Louis. As the towel fell away, Harry groaned softly, fingers scratching lightly down his muscled back. “You’re so fit, Lou.”

Louis grinned into his lips, teeth bumping momentarily before his tongue was back in Harry’s mouth. They’d never kissed so dirty before. It was so firm and fast Harry was sure he’d leave with bruised lips, and he loved that. Harry bit Louis’ lip firmly, making him squeal and drop his body onto Harry’s.

When Harry’s hands gripped his bare bum, he couldn’t take it anymore. “Hands and knees.”

Louis pulled back breathlessly, fingers lifting Harry’s shirt from his body and pausing to rub over his nipples. “Already?”

It was almost too much. “Hands and knees. Hands and knees. Hands and knees.” Harry chanted eagerly as his eyes roamed over Louis’ taught, tan body that was too tempting for Harry not to taste. With a roll of his eyes, Louis reluctantly climbed off Harry and got to his hands and knees further up on the bed. Harry quickly discarded the rest of his clothes, eyes clinging to the curve of Louis’ bum as he jumped around to get ahead of himself. Louis watched over his shoulder, laughing.

Without thinking about it, Harry slapped his arse, making Louis instantly shut up with a shallow gasp. “Fuck,” Louis said under his breath, eyes turning glossy.

“You like that?” Harry asked, climbing on the bed behind Louis and letting his hands grip each cheek, spreading them apart delectably so. His hole was staring at Harry, just waiting to be touched. Louis nodded wordlessly, making Harry smirk. “Good. You have a bum that’s meant to be smacked.”

“Yeah?”

Harry nodded, bending down and licking up the back of his thigh, up over the curve of his bum, and biting slightly at the fullest part. When he looked up again, Louis’ mouth had dropped open in a silent cry. “It’s also meant to be kissed. Does that sound good? All clean for me to taste, baby?”’

Clearly, Louis hadn’t been expecting that seeing as he whimpered and dropped to his elbows with a murmured, “Yes, fuck, yeah.”

Harry had only seen and read about this before, and he’d never been this close to someone’s bum hole before, so he lightly ran a finger around the rim, making Louis intake a sharp breath of air. It brought a grin to his lips, so he pressed his thumb against it before spreading his cheeks. There was no way he was getting his lips near his hole without holding his bum apart, a fact that made everything in Harry grow hotter.

  
Harry licked at his rim hesitantly, unsure what to expect, but all he felt was incredible desire for Louis, wanting nothing more than to lick into his bum for hours. Harry ran his tongue along his rim until he could feel Louis shuddering. Then, he pushed as far past the rim of muscle as he could, moaning into his body instantly as Louis pushed back into him. With a burst of lust, Harry began eating him out with intent, tongue teasing one second and then fucking into Louis the next. Louis’ face was buried deeply in a pillow that muffled most of his sounds, but Harry could still faintly hear each cry and moan. It was addicting. He wanted to see how turned on he could make him. He never wanted to stop.

“Let me see that pretty face, baby,” Harry said, unsure where he got the confidence to talk so dirty. He blamed it on years of reading porn and the fact that Louis was a withering mess beneath his touch at the moment. When Louis shakily pulled away, Harry saw shiny tears spilling out of his eyes. “You’re crying?”

“Good,” Louis said without a thought. “Too good. I – so good.”

Harry smirked, taking his word for it judging from his lack of speech. “You’re a mess, baby. All for me, hmm?”

Panting, Louis grabbed the bottle of lube by his side and thrust it at Harry. “Hurry.”

Harry grinned, sitting up and tossing Louis around onto his back. “Nope. Need to hear it, Lou. What do you want?”

  
As he spoke, Harry palmed at Louis’ leaking cock that was somehow harder than Harry’s, which was saying a lot at the moment. Louis’ back arched off the bed, eyes dark and threatening, but Harry, for once, wasn’t intimidated in the least. “Words, baby.”

Louis began to bite back a remark. “Don’t ‘baby’ me, Harold. I – oooh, fuck!” Harry had used his precome to slick up his finger enough to press at his hole and rub. “Please, Harry. You know what I want.”

Harry shrugged, feeding off the pissed yet turned on look in Louis’ eyes. Harry shoved his knees further apart and squirted lube onto his fingers. “I really don’t, though. Need to know a few things, too. Ever fingered yourself before?” Louis began to whine in protest, but then he stiffened, giving Harry as much feedback as he needed. Harry fell against Louis, kissing him deeply until Louis relaxed again. “It’s alright, Lou. I’ve done it on myself. It’s weird at first, but I’ll be careful and make sure you like it.”

Louis rolled his hips against Harry, dicks sliding against each other and making them both groan. “I bloody know you will! Get on with it! Want you to fuck me, Haz.”

Harry grinned, tongue dipping into Louis’ mouth once more with a dirty energy he’d been missing before. “That’s what I wanted to hear. Good boy.” Louis moaned at his words, eyes closing and back arching. It sent a heat that was so hard to ignore through Harry, but he was focused on fingering Louis at the moment. “It’s gonna feel weird, at first. Just relax, okay?”

Louis nodded half-heartedly. Harry would have been concerned, but he was decently sure if Louis was mentally fucked out of it, it would either go much more smoothly or he’d sharpen up immediately. As he pressed a finger inside him, Louis gasped, body tensing in all areas.

  
“Chill out, Louis,” Harry said, mouthing at his hip to provide some sort of distraction. He slowly pushed his finger further in, and Louis relaxed against the bed. He’d done the enema on his own, so Harry assumed it wasn’t horribly different. “Alrigh’?”

Louis looked at him with a clammy forehead, but his eyes were still dazed and the smile came easily to him. “Good. Add another.”

Harry rolled his eyes, purposefully not doing as told and opting to move his finger around instead. He wanted Louis to be as comfortable as possible. He was insanely tight, but Harry couldn’t do much without another finger, so after a few minutes, he slowly pressed a second one inside.

“Oh god,” Louis squeaked, eyes clenching shut. “I – fuck…”

Harry looked up, fearful that he was hurting Louis, so he pulled his fingers out. That only made Louis’ jaw drop open alongside his eyes, and then there were tears welling in his eyes. “No. No, no, no fuck. I did not just – wait – what?”

There was a lot going on that made little sense, so Harry asked, “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry, Lou. I -,”

“Did I not just shit meself right in front of you?” Louis said, a terrified break falling into his voice. He pushed himself into a sitting position and looked between his legs, which only made him frown deeper.

Then, Harry understood, and he burst out laughing. He held up his two fingers that were pretty damn clean for being inside an arsehole. “That was just my fingers, love,” Harry said, trying to ease his voice into a gentle tone, but now Louis was pouting furiously.

“Well how would I bloody know that it would feel the same as shitting when you took them out?” Louis whisper-screamed, but there was far less embarrassment in his eyes. He was now willing to look at Harry, so that was good. “It didn’t hurt, either, you loon. Never should have taken them out. It was just a lot.”

Harry nodded, forcing his grin to fall only into a soft smile. “Okay. Do you want to try again or just cuddle?”

Louis snorted. “Again, obviously. We’re having sex tonight, Haz.”

  
This time, both of them smiled like they’d stolen all their Christmas presents early. Harry yanked Louis down on the bed again, reaching between his legs instead of staying there. He wanted to be thorough, but he quickly found that by plunging his tongue into Louis’ mouth, Louis went so soft he felt like an extension of the bed. His body was pliant, shifting to Harry’s touch as gently as ripples in a pond.

When Harry got two fingers fully inside, Louis pulled away from Harry, taking in deep breaths, so Harry began kissing his neck. It provided him a better angle, so he quickly curled his fingers and searched for the spot he’d always read so much about. He didn’t think he was going to find it after a minute, but in that time, Louis had grown used to the pressure and was now grinding into his fingers with small sighs of pleasure. It was getting quite distracting for Harry.

“This actually feels good,” Louis said in a breathless tone, willing Harry’s eyes up to his own. “You’re hitting the spot, aren’t you?”

Harry frowned. “I don’t think so.” Louis opened his mouth to ask something, but Harry growled. “It should feel better than ‘good.’ It’s supposed to be – wait, that feels-,”

Louis gasped as his body jolted off the bed, hands gripping Harry’s back and suddenly digging in deep enough to puncture an organ. Beneath his fingers, Harry could feel the slightest sense of ridges, less pronounced than he’d imagined, but judging by the whimper that came out of Louis as he brushed over the area again, Harry was certain he’d found his prostate.

“Th-that’s amazing,” Louis said, eyes fluttering as he struggled to compose himself. He gazed at Harry as if he were made of the last drops of water in the world. “P-please, Haz.”

Harry hummed, kissing Louis’ lips as he brushed the area lightly. It was just enough to make Louis’ fingernails dig deeper into his skin, but they both knew he could do more. Louis’ eyes narrowed, as if making a threat. Before he could think about repercussions, Harry said, “Don’t call me that.”

Louis’ eyes turned down. “I thought-,”

“In bed,” Harry said as he began scissoring his fingers. It made Louis squirm and breathe deeper, but his attention was on Harry. It shouldn’t have been; this wasn’t the time for a conversation like this, but now that he’d started it, Harry had to see his reaction. “I love it anywhere else, but when I’m about to fuck you, it sounds…weak.”

Louis laughed, an easy smile gracing his face despite Harry brushing over his prostate again lightly. He wanted to save the firm pressure for later. Now, he just wanted to keep him in the mood enough to take a third finger. “What shall I call you then? Cutie? Sweetheart? Darling? Daddy? Fuck, Haz, give me something because I don’t think I can get your full name out everytime. Sir?”

Harry felt his stomach drop. His eyes grew heavy, and his cock was suddenly dying to be touched. “Were you serious about any of those?”

Louis faltered, clearly not having thought much of it. He seemed unsure of how to respond, so Harry pushed a third finger in, making Louis groan and fall back into the bed. Harry didn’t mean to interrupt their flow _again_ , so he curled his fingers and firmly pressed against his prostate, making Louis begin to moan loudly. Harry quickly captured his lips with his own, swallowing up most of the sounds.

“Quiet, baby,” Harry demanded with a growl, tugging at his lip. Louis looked at him with a small, scared yet trusting look. It was so cute and so tempting. Louis hadn’t objected to any of his dirty talk so far. “Do I need to do something to shut you up, or will you be a good boy for me?”

Louis whimpered, biting his lip as he stared at Harry, fingers twining into his curls and tugging firmly. “I’ll be good for you, daddy.”

Harry almost choked on his words. Heat flushed through his body. That word slipped out so fluently. In that moment, Louis was _his_ , and it was the hottest feeling alive. “God, fuck, yes,” Harry growled, dipping down and swirling his tongue around his ear while he began fucking his fingers in and out of Louis, brushing over his prostate each time, making Louis claw at his back so hard there surely would be blood after.

There was no stopping from there. Harry kissed Louis hungrily, tongues fighting against the other’s as Louis struggled not to cry out and Harry focused on opening Louis up so well he’d feel no pain. He was insistent, and Louis nearly came so many times it made Harry swell with satisfaction.

  
When Harry started relentlessly stroking his prostate, Louis clutched at Harry’s neck, pulling himself against Harry strongly and speaking into his ear in a quieted chant. “Harry, Harry, please fuck me. I need you, daddy, please, god. I can’t take it any longer. I – I’ve been good for you. Please.”

Harry had never heard Louis’ voice so raspy and needy before, and it was all because of him. His vanity was addicting, and Louis suggested just the way to make it spiral more. Harry bit at his collarbone and looked into those swirling, vulnerable blue eyes. “I’ve got you, Lou,” Harry said, pulling his fingers out and making the smaller man cry. At this point, they both knew the tears were good. “I’ll fuck you, baby, as long as you promise me to stay relaxed and keep breathing. Tell me if it hurts. Can you do that for daddy?”

Louis groaned, flinging his head into the pillow like he had no time for this. Harry rolled on the condom, waiting to hear a verbal response. They had stepped into an area of sex that moved a little fast for their first time. Harry didn’t want to stop it; he couldn’t make himself do so with how into it he was, but he was also aware he needed feedback from Louis during this part especially. With a low, needy whine, Louis said, “Yes. I will. Swear.”

“Good boy,” Harry said, hand shaking as he rubbed lube over his condom-covered dick. Louis’ legs were bent and kept wide, and his hole was wet and red and seemed impossibly too small for Harry to fit in. It was intimidating and tantalizing all at once. After lining himself up, he kissed Louis languidly, leaving most of his attention on gauging Louis’ reaction.

Louis stilled as he got the tip in, and he began tensing and moving up the bed. Harry stopped and kissed him harder. “You’re alright, Louis. Is it sharp pain or just a lot of pressure?” Louis shook his head, eyes shut tight as he whined and didn’t answer. “Hey! Eyes open. Answer me.”

Reacting instantly to his firm tone, Louis’ eyes snapped open, wet with tears, and then he rasped out, “Pressure. Getting better. Sorr-,”

“Don’t apologize,” Harry said, kissing him as he inched further in. When he felt Louis begin to stiffen, he stopped. “I could come right now if I wanted. You’re so amazing, Louis. Your body is – fuck – and your face – all put together is just…beautiful. Don’t apologize if we have to stop. Just let me make you feel good, okay?”

Louis began to grin, fingers massaging into his head in a more affectionate way than before. He shifted his hips, encouraging Harry to keep pushing in. “You’re beautiful, too, Harry,” Louis said, and this time, the compliment somehow meant more than any he’d ever heard before. “Harry. All the way. Please.”

Harry was only halfway in, but he could tell Louis was far more relaxed than before. His smile seemed as if he was already fucked out, and he had one hand lazily stroking himself. Harry pushed in a little farther, and before he knew it, he was bottoming out with a groan of pleasure.

“You feel…so fucking good,” Harry groaned, head falling into Louis’ neck as he tried to build up all the stamina Louis’ tight bottom took from him.

“You’re huge,” Louis said, voice high in his throat. “Like really huge.”

  
“Does it – do you not like it?” Harry asked, brows pinched in a frown. Louis didn’t seem like he was in pain, but Harry hadn’t considered Louis not liking this. He began to pull out, and Louis whimpered.

  
“Fuck, keep moving like that,” Louis said in a hiss. Harry pulled back, not all the way out, and then he thrust back in a little faster than before. Louis made this sound that was just barely audible. It was a small little, “Uh,” that was involuntary and terribly hot.

“Feel better?”

“Feels fucking fantastic,” Louis said, gritting his teeth as he dug his fingers into Harry’s biceps, bracing himself as Harry pulled out. “Faster.”

Harry smirked, fears falling away now that Louis seemed to be enjoying this. “I thought I was in control here,” Harry said, but he pulled out and thrust back inside quicker like Louis wanted. A small squeal escaped Louis’ lips, enticing Harry to kiss him deeply. He picked up speed, and soon he was truly fucking Louis.

With every thrust, Louis made those addictive little ‘uh, uh, uh’s that made Harry want to give the world to him. When Harry felt he wasn’t going to last much longer, he took Louis’ legs and put them over his shoulders. Louis made a loud moan, eyes rolling to the back of his head when Harry fucked into him again.

“There, there, there,” Louis whimpered, lips attaching to Harry’s as his hands raked down his back. There would be marks there for days, and it made the hot heat in Harry’s gut that much harder to contain. “Please, daddy, fuck.”  
  


“So good for me, baby,” Harry groaned, kissing at his neck as he fucked into him. There was no way he’d be able to last much longer, not with Louis squirming beneath him like that. “Come for me, Lou.”

“I – I – fuck, daddy,” Louis moaned, back arching as he came hotly between them. His face was open and beautiful and too much for Harry to handle. With a firm bite to his collarbone, Harry came, groaning deeply as his world became overwhelmed with the sensation of Louis. His skin, his voice, his bum, his everything.

Harry fell on top of Louis, who immediately began whining. “You’re suffocating me, love.” It felt like all the energy had been drained out of his body. Somehow, Harry pushed himself up, hovering over Louis and staring between them. There was a haze surrounding them, protecting the secretive smirks between the pair for them and them alone. “It’s a nice suffocation.”

Harry pressed his lips to Louis’, but he didn’t move them. He savored the feel of Louis beneath him, of him just _being_ there, being his, even for just this night. When he pulled away, Louis raised his hand to his cheek, thumbs brushing away a lone wet tear that Harry hadn’t even realized had fallen.

He wanted to explain why he was crying. Why he felt such overwhelming emotion suddenly that he couldn’t hold them back. What these emotions were. What it all meant. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t risk the words just as he couldn’t stop the emotions.

“Good tears, I promise,” Harry said, smiling widely. Louis’ eyes searched across his face, looking for something that Harry didn’t know of. Eventually, he either found it or gave up because he gave a soft kiss to each of Harry’s damp cheeks.

“That was amazing, Haz, but your dick is starting to hurt when you move,” Louis whispered in a mischievous tone, making them both snicker. Harry pulled out, kissing his chest when he frowned in discomfort, before getting off the bed and discarding the rubber into his overnight bag.

He brought Louis a warm flannel, wiping down both their stomachs with a grin. Just out of curiosity, he swiped a finger through the sticky mess. “Don’t you – oh god,” Louis said with a groan as he watched Harry stick his finger into his mouth. Just to get a rise out of Louis, he made a ‘mmm’ sound and jumped onto the bed. “You’re so extra.”

“What?” Harry asked. “You admitted it didn’t taste bad, and when it’s not a shit ton to swallow at once, it’s even better.”

“Just shut up and cuddle me,” Louis said, throwing the flannel toward his bathroom and flipping onto his side. Harry wasted no time in wrapping himself around Louis, pressing light kisses over his shoulders and on his neck, making him giggle. It brought Harry so much joy knowing he brought that out of Louis. “Night, Curly. Try to wake up early so we can do that again, yeah?”

Harry smirked, pulling Louis’ soft bum right against his hips. “Night, Lou.”


	3. The End

“So how was it?”

Harry looked over the camera at Lottie with a frown. “How was what?”

Lottie rolled her eyes and shoved the camera out of her face. Harry refocused back on the field where players were running everywhere. It took a while to find Louis because he was so far away. “Sex. Louis told me to fuck off when I asked and got all red in the face, so clearly you two did it.”

Harry laughed, looking at Lottie with frustration. “He’ll literally kill me if I tell you.”  
  


Lottie waved a hand. “He’s harmless. Then again, if you sucked, he’ll be more inclined to kill you.”

Harry scowled at her. The sound of the camera shutter going off kept Lottie from speaking again. The crowd roared as Louis caught the ball with his chest before hurtling toward the goal. It was a struggle to keep from putting the camera down, but Harry wanted good action shots during the prime moments of the game.

“Yes! I got it!” Harry grinned to himself as he snapped endless shots of Louis celebrating the goal he just made. Under the bright lights of the field, he looked like a football god. Compared to most of his teammates, he was. To Harry, he was a walking god in all forms.

“Cool. Now tell me or I’m going home after the game,” Lottie said, picking at her nails. “Which would mean you and Louis won’t get to run lines and snog in your car.”

With a gasp, Harry looked away from his camera and gaped at Lottie. “We do not snog in the car!”

A roar came up from the crowd, and Harry cursed as he tried to take a rapid succession of pictures of the players. He missed Louis, but he rationally knew he needed to take pictures of more than just Louis to send to the yearbook.

“You do. I opened the door Monday to my brother shirtless on your lap,” Lottie said with a shrug, as if that didn’t disgust her. Harry supposed she’d seen them in more compromising positions than most siblings would in the last few weeks, so Lottie surely learned how to stomach it. Maybe she filtered the scenes to imagine Harry with someone other than her brother.

With a large sigh, Harry put down the camera and looked at her. Her eyes were deadly serious. There was an expectant pout to her lips that was quite similar to the one her brother used on him all the time. “It was great. I’m not sure what you want to know, Lots. Would you like me to craft a poem about your brother’s bum for you?”

Lottie rolled her eyes and stole the camera from his lap. She aimed at his face, snapping away carelessly and making Harry pout. It was a waste of good storage. “Please don’t. Was it awkward? I bet you made a bunch of weird jokes the whole time, didn’t you? Did Louis get annoyed and put you in your place? I bet he did. I bet you just lied back and took it, huh? Tell me, Haz, did Louis make you his bitch? Did he laugh at you a bit? Louis would be the type to laugh at you fumbling around. He can be a bit of a prat that way…”

Her eyes kept blinking, large and pestering, and Harry knew this strategy. Niall used it on him from time to time, and Lottie had clearly picked it up off him. It worked, though. Her words grated at his nerves, aggravating him for both insulting him and being incredibly wrong. Finally, he snapped and grabbed the camera from her with a glare.

“No. It wasn’t awkward. We were a little nervous, so I did what I’ve read in smut scenes, and it chilled him out, which calmed me down. He laughed when I messed up, but in a sweet way. It great. Now shut up about it.”

Lottie was quiet for a moment. Harry’s tone was harsher than normal, but this was Louis’ sister, and it was a really weird conversation. After she was done licking her chops, she giggled to herself. “So you made Louis your bitch! Got it!”

“Lottie!” Harry glared despite the buzzer going off to signal a great win by Louis’ team. Lottie’s eyes were twinkling with mischief, but she sealed her lips with her fingers. As the crowd filed out, they sat down and waited for the players to shower and exit so they could find Louis. His heart was racing with the knowledge that he’d get thirty uninterrupted minutes alone with Louis while Niall entertained Lottie.

The blonde exited first alongside Liam, who waved and left quickly. Lottie smiled cheerily at Harry. “Seriously, was it special like he wanted?”

Harry bit his lip. He had no idea that Louis wanted it to be ‘special,’ and he had a big fear that it didn’t live up to Louis’ expectations. His gut twisted at the notion that he’d made him feel like a random fuck, even if it was both of their first times. To Harry, it meant so much more than he ever expected sex would mean to him.

“I hope,” Harry said, voice wavering. “It was special to me.”

“Then I’m sure it was! See you in a few! I think we’re going somewhere, uh, private, so we may be a little longer than normal,” Lottie said, red gracing her cheeks as she hurried off. Harry cackled loudly.

“Enjoy getting laid! Hope it’s ‘special,’ love!”

“Fuck off!”

It took Louis a little longer than most to exit the locker room, as usual. He insisted on doing his hair even though Harry swore he’d look gorgeous bald. When he finally made it out, he jumped onto Harry’s back and screamed loudly into his ear. “We won, Haz! You see that? Good shit, innit? Good shit!”

Harry beamed helplessly, gripping the back of his thighs firmly as he ran off toward his car. “Good shit, Lou!” They fell against the car, looking around briefly before Harry caged Louis between his arms, smile so wide it hurt. “You were amazing out there. I got your goal on camera.”

The blue in Louis’ eyes shined brighter than the stars. His grin was awed and golden. “No fucking way! Can I see?” Harry leaned against the car beside Louis and pulled up the picture. Instantly, Louis jumped and hung off his shoulder to get a better look at it. “That’s so sick. You can see the ball come off my foot and everything.” Then, his lips were on Harry’s, kissing him fast and firm. “Thank you, love.”  
  


_Love._ His heart squeezed painfully.

“It’s nothing,” Harry said with a shrug, which made Louis tug on a curl in admonishment.

They got in the car and drove to a spot hidden away in the countryside. It had begun to rain, so they turned the music down and climbed in the back. Louis pulled out the endless array of snacks hidden in his bag while Harry took out the lines they needed to rehearse.

“Of all the candies you have in there, would it kill you to buy normal skittles?” Harry asked as he half-heartedly accepted the sour skittles. Louis made a face and threw one at him.

“Come on, Haz. Everybody eats these. Extend your pallet!” Louis said, hand digging into the gummy bear collection. Harry would certainly gain weight if they spent every Thursday night like this.

“My pallet prefers sweet over sour – it’s shocking I like you at all,” Harry said, looking over his papers to see Louis cackle manically. Then, he shoved off the back wall and into Harry’s lap, straddling him with a pleased smile.

“It is shocking, honestly,” Louis said, fingers winding into Harry’s curls. This was how a lot of their practise sessions went. It was probably the reason Harry got the lead over Louis this time; Harry at least tried to practise a little. “Be honest, babe. Did you like the taste of me cum?”

Harry let out a honking laugh that only Louis could get out of him. He set his lines down, giving up on actually running over them for the moment. “It’s a taste of my lovely Lou. How could I not like it?”

Louis groaned, falling back against the seat and slapping a hand over his eyes. “Choke me, please. Better than hearing those cheesy lines!”

Harry swiftly wrapped his hand around Louis’ neck, lunging forward and whispering into his ear, “Be careful what you ask for, love.”  
  


Louis’ eyes were wide as Harry pulled away, and his heart was racing. When he shifted forward again, Harry could feel the near firmness of his dick pressing against his stomach. “Um, that – that was really hot, Haz. Maybe next time we should, er, do that.”

Harry winked, making Louis’ eyes dance away momentarily. Dirty thoughts raced through his head. His body was aching to try it out again, to see how hard Louis came with his hand lightly wrapped around his throat, just enough to make him dizzy. But then Lottie’s words bounced through his mind, and Harry lost all drive for dirty sex.

Louis frowned down at him, hands running down his cheeks lightly. “Something wrong?” The rain fell hard against the car, growing louder than even the music playing. It brought a sense of clarity to Harry, so he grasped Louis’ hands and held them against his chest, savoring the feel of his tiny fingers hovering over his heart.

“Was it special to you?”

It took a few seconds for Louis to understand what he was referring to. His eyes shifted as he worked it out, letting Harry see directly into his mind. It felt too raw, suddenly. “It was – it was very special to me, Harry. I mean, it was my bloody first time. Not something I was gonna take lightly, yeah?” It should have relieved the stress he held, but Harry knew that. He knew Louis wanted it to be special to a degree, but that was the issue. Did Harry actually live up to all that Louis had imagined? He was just a quiet, theater nerd that admired Louis for years. It seemed impossible for Harry to have made Louis’ first time special. “Was it not for you?”

Harry snorted, eyes growing misty as he sheepishly tried to picture it being anything but special. “It was everything to me, Lou,” Harry said, squeezing his thighs tightly to try to convey how terrible a thought it was to lose him because he wasn’t enough. Louis’ eyes looked down with concern, hands brushing away his wild curls as he waited more patiently than he did for anything for an explanation. With a heavy sigh, Harry hung his head and spoke with fear laced in his voice. “I just – I didn’t know you wanted it to be _special_. I – I was nervous, yeah? And I thought if I did what I read and watched in porn then maybe I wouldn’t fuck it up. But Lottie said-,”

“Lottie said?” Louis asked, tugging sharply on his hair until he looked up. Alarm was written across his face. “Why the bloody hell would you listen to a word _my sister_ has to say about our sex life?”

A hot stab of shame hit his heart so strongly Harry wanted to jump out of the car and never return. “Uh, I – I dunno.” He took a deep breath, trying to save this conversation enough to convince Louis not to break up with him entirely. Louis shifted on his lap, reminding Harry of how good it felt to have his weight in his arms. It felt sure and safe, and it was all he wanted. “I’m sorry, I guess. For not making it more special.”

Louis groaned. “Do you mean bloody _romantic?”_ Harry narrowed his eyes as he tried to follow his line of thinking. Louis scooted impossibly closer with a lifted, smug lip. “I was nervous, too, Haz. For a lot of reasons, one of which was that you’d try to make it romantic and I’d laugh at you because that’s what I do with cheesy romantic shit and then I’d make you cry.”

Harry pouted involuntarily. “I wouldn’t cry…”

“You would,” Louis said as he patted his cheek affectionately. Knowing how true that was, they both chuckled at the thought. “I was also nervous I’d be shite in bed. Or worse, that I’d bloody shit in bed.”

Harry winced. At tolerant as he was, that was just not a great image. Louis laughed, nuzzling against his cheek. His scruff scratched at Harry’s bare skin in an oddly soothing way. When he pulled back, his eyes were soft. “It was special because it was with you, Haz. We can save your sappy sex for our wedding night or summat. What you did, taking over and being insanely hot, was so much better. Can’t stop thinking about when we’ll get to do it again, honestly.”

Harry released a tight breath of air. Knowing Louis full-heartedly enjoyed it allowed Harry to revel in it again like he’d been doing until he talked with Lottie. Then, Louis’ words clicked, and a large, uncontrollable grin made its way onto his face. “Marriage, huh?”

Louis narrowed his eyes seconds before he shoved his hand in Harry’s face, “Shut your smug face about it, yeah?”

Harry lunged forward, sucking a hot mark beneath his shirt and pulling away with a smirk. “As long as you buy me a pretty ring.”

“Obviously.”

. . .

Harry wasn’t allowed over that weekend because they had family in. At first, they thought it wouldn’t be an issue, but neither of them could forget the reaction wrapping Harry’s hand around Louis’ throat pulled from them. It was buzzing through Harry’s mind painfully now that he knew Louis did enjoy it.

“Not seeing your boy-toy this weekend?” Gemma asked with a cackle, throwing a slice of apple at him. Harry opened his mouth and bit down on the apple, nose pinching at its sour taste.

“His grandfather is in,” Harry said with a sigh. Gemma made a face, and Harry nodded. He didn’t particularly understand either. “Louis claims he can smell someone queer from a mile. War training or summat. Didn’t want to force me into the closet like him.”

“More like didn’t think you could pass as straight,” Gemma said, tilting her head back and forth as she debated her thoughts. “I understand. You’re a stellar actor, but not when you’re playing yourself.”

Harry threw his hand in up in the air. His phone lit up on the couch as Harry stumbled over his words. “When have I -?”

“This entire time since I’ve been home. You really thought you could hide that you lost your virginity from me, Harry?” Gemma asked with a raised eyebrow. Without warning, her words made heat flush over Harry. Thoughts trickled into his brain at the same time as four rapid messages popping up on his phone. The tiny picture of Louis’ middle finger covering his naked chest revealed it was from his boyfriend. Harry was helpless to stop himself from grabbing his phone.

“How did you know?”

“Pretty sure two of the poems you read to me were about his arse,” Gemma said, fingers picking at the peel of the apple. “Though I personally loved the song dedicated to the ‘taste of him on your tongue.’”

Harry groaned, hand running down his face in disdain. “Not my fault his bum jiggles like…”

Gemma waited only five seconds before saying, “And? I desperately need to know what Louis’ bum jiggles like, Harry. What is distracting you so?”

Without warning, she grabbed the phone straight from his hands. It wasn’t entirely unwelcome. Harry was having difficulty deciding how to respond to Louis’ texts.

Gemma dropped the phone and made a gagging sound. “Gross. Alright, I’ll go bother mum so you can sext your horny boyfriend.”

Normally, Harry would take any chance to steer Gemma’s nosey face out of his love life, but he found himself grabbing her wrist and pulling her back on the couch. “Sext?”  
  


Gemma stared at him, scornful eyes waiting for something Harry had no idea of. Finally, she burst into laughter, face smothering into Harry’s chest rudely. “You don’t know how to sext? God! Not a virgin, but still so innocent!”

Harry pouted, fingers pinching his lip. The couch sucked him further in, which he appreciated. This way, Gemma wouldn’t be able to see the frustration in his eyes at having read Louis’ texts.

_I miss you and your clever ways of distracting me from my family’s bigotry :// - L_

Five minutes later, four were sent in rapid succession.

_I’m so hard. - L_

_painfully so, actually. really need your lips to replace my hand rn babe - L_

_I bet you’d have loads of ways to distract me ;) - L_

_what would you do to me right now? - L_

“How is that confusing? Tell him what you would do to him _in detail_ and never show me texts like that again,” Gemma said, ruffling his curls with a laugh. She stood up and shook her head on her way out. “Honestly.”

Harry typed out five different texts before deciding on the first one.

_I’d wrap my hands around your throat and put you on your knees in front of me – H_

He figured jumping straight to the sex left nothing else for Louis to respond with, so Harry started there. After all, that was what encouraged them to ditch studying lines to exchange blowjobs in the back of their car.

_fuck, Harry, yes. want your precum coating my lips like gloss – L_

Harry grinned. That was close to one of his own jokes, but he figured pointing it out wouldn’t help Louis along.

_what’s my name? – H_

From there, things escalated quicker than Harry had been expecting. The chill in the room was swept away with the fire radiating from his skin. The darkness only aided in his own terrible thoughts.

_daddy. sorry – L_

_you should be sorry – H_

_make it up to me – H_

_how? – L_

_you know how – H_

Harry had intended to send another response, but he was torn between directing Louis to not let himself come or by making him come only by fingering himself. Before the decision could be made, an image came from Louis.

Staring at Harry through the screen was a sinful picture of Louis’ leaking cock. The flash glinted off the swell of precum at the tip, making Harry’s tongue throb, dying to taste him again. His tiny fist seemed completely inefficient – Louis deserved better than that to get off to.

_I would do bad things to have that in my mouth right now, baby – H_

_but you’re not fully forgiven yet – H_

The couch was vibrating as Harry’s knee bounced impatiently while Louis typed. With a heady glance over, Harry realized he was horribly hard by now.

_what does daddy want? – L_

_daddy wants to see where he’d give you five slaps for punishment. – H_

They never talked explicitly about their kinks. At first, Harry planned to, but then they sifted through porn together and found they had very similar interests. It only took minor clarification to figure out who felt which roles. They both had a pain kink all around.

_really? – L_

Harry grinned to himself. He could picture Louis staring dumbly at the phone. A worried part of him could also picture Louis feeling unsure of taking such a picture.

_yes, baby. get in front of a mirror and turn around. – H_

The picture came in five minutes later. It made Harry’s mouth water. Louis was twisted around his body, hip popped out obscenely. The flash enhanced the tan skin of his thick thighs that made Harry’s head spin. They led to his bum, and Harry could feel his resolve fall away. He now understood why this was called sexting. All he could think about was dipping his tongue between his firm cheeks, face smothered between them.

_I want to lick up your thighs, give you love bites on the inside of them to make you squirm. then I want to dip my tongue under the line your bum makes with your thighs. so full, baby. I’d make your bum jiggle, and you’d complain, but I’d shut you up with three hard spanks. would you like that, baby? – H_

It came out of nowhere. Harry knew it could have been laid out better, but his mind was too busy to care about formalities. The reply came almost instantly, so clearly it wasn’t an issue.

_get the fuck over here now. – L_

_what? I thought your grandfather could ‘spot me a mile away’ – H_

_sneak in. they all went to bed. please. – L_

_on my way. don’t touch yourself. – H_

Harry searched for his keys, nearly freaking out when he couldn’t find them. Thankfully, they were hidden under his beanie, which he quickly pulled on. The air outside was chilled and rainy, so it gave Harry an excuse to bundle up his coat and hold it over the obvious tent in his trousers as he ran through the kitchen.

“Where are you going in such a rush, Harry?” Anne asked, eyes softening at his disheveled look.

He glanced at his phone and said, “Louis’ for the night.”

“I thought he had an angry homophobic grandfather there,” Gemma said, eyes glinting as she took in Harry’s whole person. His cheeks were red, and only one shoe was tied from his hurry to get out the door.

“Yes, well, he wants to meet Lottie’s boyfriend,” Harry said as he tried to hide the wince. It was a hurried lie that was poorly thought through, but neither of them said a word.

“Alright. Be careful, darling,” Anne said, glancing briefly up from the page she had pulled up on her tablet. It was probably one of Gemma’s articles. She was a talented writer for her school’s paper despite journalism not even being part of her major.

Harry’s car had frost on it, but he sped away regardless. His mind could vividly imagine Louis lying on his bed, withering as he fought against his urge to touch himself. He could hear the curses aimed his way, but Harry knew he’d listen. As much as he fought to be a brat, Louis liked to please him in the end. He hated admitting it, but Harry learned it early on. It wasn’t hard to guess; Louis was outspoken and loud most times, but he never got the affection he craved as a child. It was likely due to being part of a large family and also the cold shoulder his dad gave off. Submitting to Harry allowed him to gain the affection and _attention_ he craved.

When he arrived, Louis told him to come in through the window. He left out the fact that the window was a small rectangle that was as large as picture frame. Somehow, Harry forced himself through the miniature window with a groan. It scraped his body roughly, and his eyes hadn’t even gotten the chance to open before a high-pitched whine filled the room, and suddenly, two cold hands were on him, yanking him forward.

“Finally,” Louis said, eyes darkened by his enlarged pupils. Harry glanced over his form, heart racing at his tan, lithe body only covered by a grey pair of briefs with a dark wet spot on the front. “I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said. Took so fucking long.”

Harry grinned ruefully, licking his lips as his hands ran down Louis’ sides. His skin was hot to the touch. It made all the blood in Harry’s body rush downward. A pulsing thought came to mind as Harry dug his fingers into the firm muscle of Louis’ thighs.

“Did you keep from touching yourself?” Harry asked, eyes trailing up his body to finally meet the blue of Louis’ gaze. He glanced away slowly, rocking back on his heels, but Harry gave him a firm tug forward. “Answer me.”  
  


“You took so long, Haz,” Louis said with a whine in his throat, eyes rolling slightly. The mischievous look he wore around his friends slipped onto his face, and Harry scowled. “I was literally on the edge. You can’t have expected me to actually wait-,”

With a firm hand, Harry gripped his hips and spun Louis around. He shuffled up behind him, lips grazing up his neck and moving against his ear. “You’re getting punished for that, baby.”

A delicious whimper escaped Louis’ lips as Harry shoved him face-first into the bed. Harry shucked off everything but his underwear, moving Louis up the bed enough to stuff a pillow under his hips. “Do you know what you did wrong, Louis?” Harry asked as he bit marks down Louis’ back, inching lower slow enough to make him shiver.

“I d-disobeyed you.”

“And?”

“And? There is no ‘and,’ Haz. I-,”

Louis choked on his words as Harry bit hard into the top of his bum. It would certainly leave a bruise. “You can’t seem to do anything right for daddy tonight, can you, baby?”

Louis cursed under his breath, head falling into the comforter in dismay. “S-sorry.”

Harry palmed his bum, admiring the swell it produced around his fingers. His skin was smooth and silky in his hand, and all Harry wanted to do was mark it up. “I don’t think you are very sorry, though. Maybe after ten spanks you will be. Does that sound good, baby?”

“Yes, daddy,” Louis said, voice tight, like he was holding back expectations. Harry’s lips curled into a grin as he lifted his hand up briefly, landing against his bum with force.

“You’ll say yellow to slow down and red to stop, okay? Green for go, and you’ll answer me when I ask. Got it, Lou?”

“Yes, daddy.” His breath held air in it. Louis was quickly finding his footing as Harry’s hand came down on him again. A soft hiss left his lips. His bum shook slightly, waiting for the next smack of Harry’s hand. Harry gave the next two in a fast succession, enjoying the redness spreading across his cheeks. On the fifth smack, Louis moaned deeply into the pillow.

“Color?” Harry asked, hands moving in soft circles on the abused cheek. It seemed to make Louis squirm despite his hands clutching the sheets desperately.

“Green. So green,” Louis said, voice high and floaty. It made Harry swell with pride. He was doing this to Louis. He was taking Louis out of reality with each slap, giving him a chance to just _be_ and let Harry take care of him.

  
“I think you need a little harder, don’t you?” Harry asked, mainly just to give Louis his voice to cling on to. A raspy groan left his lips, and then he was nodding into the pillow. With each smack to Louis’ bum, Harry felt a little of himself leave his body, too. Hot desire filled him as he watched his arse shake and redden with each smack. He was barely keeping himself from caving early and taking his dick into his mouth. After the eighth smack, Harry could see his handprint forming on his peaky skin. An animalistic satisfaction of marking his territory ran through him. “Have you learned your lesson, Lou?”

Louis arched his back into his hand, turning his head to look pleadingly at Harry. “Yes, yes. I – please?”

Harry raised an eyebrow, hand pausing as he readied to smack him again. “Use your words.”

“Fuck me. Please. I – I need you,” Louis said, words spilling out so fast Harry barely caught them. A cruel desire brewed inside him. He loved hearing him beg, and he wanted to hear it more.

“Bad boys don’t get to cut their punishments short,” Harry said. His stomach twisted at the sight of Louis’ wet eyes. They must have been tears of a good type of pain because Louis nodded and closed his eyes, waiting for the impact of Harry’s hands. A sadistic part inside of Harry wanted to see the tears fall, so he smacked his hand against his firm bum twice in a hot, hard succession, hard cock aching at the sound of Louis crying out.

Within seconds, Harry twisted Louis around and wrapped his hand around his throat, hovering over his body as he spoke, “Be quiet for me, baby, or I won’t fuck you. You don’t want that, do you?”

Louis’ blue eyes fluttered as he struggled to shake his head. His dainty fingers pulled at Harry’s hands, but there was no double tap, which was their respective sign to stop when he couldn’t speak. “Good boy.” Harry released his throat and gazed over Louis, who was squirming beneath him, desperate to keep his hips in the air both to ease the sting on his bum and to get some friction on his leaking cock. “I’m gonna fuck you now.”

Louis whined high in his throat, fighting against Harry as he began to hover over him. “Kisses.”

Harry licked his lips, shaking his head as he smirked to himself. Louis craned his neck, aching to be kissed, but Harry wanted to tease him more. “Bad boys don’t get kisses until later. Until daddy kisses everywhere else.”

“I’ll be good,” Louis said, fingers curling in Harry’s hair, tugging a little too firmly. Harry shoved Louis back on the bed, making him gasp. He bit into his collarbone firmly, enough to bruise, making Louis shout.

“Quiet.” Harry commanded, looking at him with a threat in his eyes. Louis moaned silently as Harry kissed behind his ear, rolling his body down on the wound up man. Louis couldn’t stop moving beneath him, but Harry allowed that for tonight. One day, he’d get around to tying him up, as well, but for now, he was happy with Louis not waking the house.

As Harry moved down his body, he made sure to nip at his nipples and the fleshy area of his tummy, meeting Louis’ gaze and making him whimper. There was a thin film of sweat coating his body, salty enough to give him flavor, and Harry loved it. He could do this for hours, but when he finally grabbed Louis’ hips and flipped him over, he knew he’d reached the place they both wouldn’t mind him kissing endlessly.

He grabbed the lotion on the nearby table and coated his hands. Then, he rubbed it into Louis’ red cheeks. “You’re gonna have trouble sitting for days, baby. Did so well for me, Lou.”

  
Louis smiled into the bed, eyes closing as Harry continued palming his bum. It was firm enough to be compact in his hand, yet it still moved pliantly. “Please.” Louis begged as Harry finished rubbing the moisturizer into his skin. He let his thumb slip between his cheeks, pressing firmly against his hole, grinning at the instant groan that slipped from his lips.

“Patience, baby.”

“Yeah,” Louis said. Harry dipped his head down, hands holding his bum apart so he could get better access to the area that was so tempting. When he finally licked around his hole, Louis pushed back into him, desperate for more. “Yeah. Yeah, Harry. Fuck, yeah, please.”

Harry smirked, grabbing the lube as he flicked his tongue furiously across his sensitive pink skin. Saliva was dripping down his body, and Harry knew his face was getting covered in it, but it only made it so much hotter. “Want my fingers, baby?”

Louis nodded, fingers grasping the bedsheets tighter as Harry pushed a slick finger inside him. He took his fingers so well, legs shaking but mouth, thankfully, remaining shut tight. Harry took his time opening Louis up, brushing over his prostate periodically, but he didn’t have to worry about making him come too early. It was nice, but he’d never let Louis know that.

“I – fuck me, please. Please, daddy. I need – oh my god,” Louis said, spinning around so Harry could truly see the desperate gleam in his eyes. His lips twitched at the bold move.

“Is this how you want me to fuck you?”

“Any way,” Louis said with a frown, looking into his lap. Harry grabbed a condom and slowly rolled it on, staring at Louis’ guilt-ridden, beautiful face. “Should have asked. ‘M sorry.”

Harry moved forward, hovering between his legs. “You should have. Don’t worry. I’ll still fuck you. I’ll get my punishment in a minute.”  
  


Focused on the immediate future, Louis only moaned as Harry propped his legs above his shoulders. He lined himself up, teasing around his hole until Louis began pulling on his hair. Finally, Harry pushed inside, going slowly until he felt himself bottom out. Louis’ mouth dropped open shamelessly again, and Harry couldn’t stop himself from leaning down and capturing his lips with his own.

Louis moaned loudly into the kiss, finally getting everything he’d been begging for. Harry pulled out slowly, thrusting in firmly like a jab to the gut. A soft grunt escaped Louis’ lips, so Harry followed it by licking into his mouth. He tasted fresh and minty, making Harry’s lips tingle.

Once he adjusted his angle, he thrust into Louis faster. The sounds he made were obscene, but Harry worried they were getting too loud. A grin grew on his face as he said, “Be quiet for daddy.”

Louis never was able to be quiet, even when Harry asked, so Harry balanced himself on one arm and wrapped his free hand around Louis’ throat. His mouth dropped open, but he began nodding his head.

“You’re so desperate, baby. I bet you want to come so bad, don’t you? So bad you want to be choked into it.”

Louis whined high in his throat, so Harry tightened his hand. Harry was rapidly losing control himself, so he leaned down and bit roughly into his collar bone. His raspy voice whispered against Louis’ ear. “Come for daddy.”

Suddenly, Louis clenched down on his dick, making the tight pressure unbearable, and Harry came with a groan, hand loosening around Louis’ throat right as he came with a ridiculously loud moan.

Louis’ hands tugged helplessly on Harry’s curls, encouraging him to fall against Louis despite the sticky cum covering Louis’ skin. Panting breathlessly, Harry couldn’t care less. He pressed firm kisses up Louis’ chest, blowing soft air over his neck to make Louis squirm back to reality. With a beaming grin, Louis blinked his blue eyes at Harry, one eyelash falling to his cheek.

Harry reached out and tried to brush it away, but jabbed a little harshly at his warm skin. “Oops,” Harry said, following the firm touch with a kiss to his tempting cheekbones.

“Hi,” Louis said in a hushed whisper.

Harry thumbed a long strand of hair away from his face, eyes falling on the flushed skin of his cheeks and his red-bitten lips. They were so distracting. He was distracting, invading every thought and every feeling Harry felt these days. The blue of his eyes and dark length of his lashes were enough to make Harry obsess over him. The way he teased Harry yet managed to let him see all the vulnerable sides to him made Harry fall for him completely. Even his flaws were justified and overshadowed with the effort he took to overcome the coldness deeply placed in his heart by his parents. It was admirable in all the ways that made Harry swoon, and he didn’t know how much longer he could stand not telling him.

“Hey, Lou?”

“Yeah?”

“I-,”

A loud, jarring pounding on the door made Harry and Louis nearly jump out of their skins. Harry felt all air leave his lungs with a sudden terror that was doubly displayed in Louis’ eyes.

“Louis! What’s going on in there?” Jay’s shrill voice was unmistakable.

“I’m tellin’ ya, sweetheart. He’s bloody wanking off!” The voice was deep, gruff, and angry. Another three firm knocks made Louis and Harry jump. “I’m staying above ya, kid, and I want to sleep. Knock it off!”

“Louis Tomlinson! That is a sin under God’s eyes and you know it! Open this door right now!” Jay screeched in a high pitch that grated at Harry’s ears.

Louis shoved Harry off the bed, hurriedly grabbing whatever clothes he could find in a bundle. “Get in the closet!” Louis’ hands shook as he struggled to gather everything. His eyes were red and laced with fear within each red capillary. His words struck Harry with a cold, sick feeling.

“What?” Harry hissed.

“Louis! Open this door, young man!”

Louis choked on his own breath and glanced at the door. “Come on! They can’t see you here! The window will take too long!”

The closet was barely big enough for Louis’ minimalistic style of clothes. It was then stuffed full of shoes and old books and crafts. The doors hardly even shut. The irony and shame behind the idea of hiding in the closet made Harry look at Louis with disdain.

“You can’t be serious,” Harry said, ready to list off all the reasons this was silly, but when Louis flung the doors open and turned around, there were tears in his eyes. Suddenly, the hint of humor and comic relief drained from Harry’s veins. He suddenly understood that Louis wasn’t just alarmed; he was petrified of his parents. “Al-alright.”

“Never would have happened when I was a kid! This boy needs a good example of God’s wrath for the sounds he was making, Jay!”

“Move out of the way,” said Louis’ father, grumbling like he’d just been angrily woken up from his sleep. “I’ve got the key.”

Louis let out a squeal, hands shoving Harry backwards into the closet. His clothes hit him in the face, covering any hint of light. A horrible, cold, thick liquid fell onto his feet, and he wanted to scream. It was a miracle he didn’t, but it was unsurprising that he jumped backwards with more force than necessary, slamming into a jagged edge of the wood shelving. His head hit so hard it was painful enough to make Harry fall to the ground with a sickening feeling that his entire head had been split open.

He clutched at his head, pain radiating from the wound. Harry wanted to cry, but he didn’t let himself. Thankfully, it somehow grew darker in the already dark closet. There were the faint sounds of angry yelling and rushed explanations, but it was all lost on Harry. The room felt like it was spinning, which was a confusing feeling considering Harry couldn’t actually see anything for it to be spinning.

It only felt like seconds had passed before he was being shaken awake.

“How the bloody hell did you fall asleep during that?”

Louis’ voice was faint and muffled, but it was enough to pull Harry out of the darkness. Louis removed the clothes from his face, blinding Harry with bright lights. It made him groan and cover his eyes.

“Never mind. I have to clean up here. My grandfather will be back in minutes,” Louis said. He sounded ill, like he was going to vomit. When Harry sat up, he felt like he would get sick as well. “You have to go.”

Harry frowned, looking around Louis’ room and trying to recall how he got there. “I do?”

Louis nodded, running a hand through his hair. It drew Harry’s gaze to his too-damp cheeks. “Why were you crying?” Harry asked, stepping forward to brush away his tears, but Louis only curled in on himself and stepped away.

“Please, Haz. You heard what they’re gonna do. I – I need you to go. It’ll be so much worse if they see you here.” Louis couldn’t meet his gaze, but he thrust clothes at Harry. His hands were trembling now. There were red fingernail marks on his palms. Everything about this scene was confusing and worrying. Harry’s head was pounding, and nothing made sense, but Louis was more serious and upset than he’d ever seen him before, and Harry was in no shape to argue with him.

“Okay.” Harry numbly pulled on the clothes. His shirt rubbed at his stomach, making him feel extra dirty. Louis pushed him toward the window, still not meeting his gaze. “Through here?”

Louis huffed impatiently, and it made Harry’s stomach sink. He had no idea what was going on, but he tried to remind himself that Louis’ family was likely whom Louis was annoyed with and not Harry. “You came in this way.”

It was clearly not meant for a human to fit through. It annoyed him even more because Harry was sure he should have remembered climbing through this, but he didn’t. Louis started shoving him faster as footsteps sounded upstairs, so Harry obliged. He was terrified of something, and that was enough to get Harry to listen to him.

After a lot of wiggling and help from Louis, Harry painfully squeezed through the opening. Once the cold night air hit him, Harry frowned, lying on his stomach to speak to Louis. “Wait, what are they going to do to you?”

Louis’ eyes sagged. The color was one of the dullest blues they’ve ever been before. “Just go, love. I’ll be fine.”

The window slammed shut with a bang that made the pulsing in Harry’s head much worse. It was a tinted color, so Harry couldn’t look in. Even so, Louis told him to go, and he was at such a confused state, he had no choice but to do as told. Harry had no idea if he’d driven or not, and he was suddenly terrified he’d never find his car or recall if it was missing due to his sudden loss of memory, but once he got to the street, he spotted his car outside the neighbor’s house.

It wasn’t the smartest of places to park it. It also wasn’t smart to drive. He knew this. He missed the gear shift when he first reached for it. He couldn’t bring himself to focus for longer than thirty seconds on the road due to the glare of the moon.

Something was seriously wrong, and judging by the churning of his stomach, it was getting worse.

He managed to inch the car down the barren street until he found a spot relatively out of sight of the Tomlinson household. By then, he flung himself out of the car and vomited all over the side of the road.

Naturally, Harry rang Gemma. He vaguely recalled chatting with her, but as he sat in his car staring at the wavering trees, he hardly paid attention. The next thing he knew, Gemma and Anne were helping him into their backseat. Then, Harry went to sleep.

. . .

The beeping by his bedside was very annoying. It only made his headache worse. It felt like the time Niall continously hit him with a soda can multiplied by ten times the force. Thankfully, the lights were dim as Harry tiredly blinked awake. He tried to look around, but it made him wince as pain shot through his skull.

“Oh, don’t move, baby.”

A light smile filtered onto his face at the sound of his mum’s voice. She moved in front of him, smiling with tears in her eyes. “Mum,” Harry said in a whisper. The pain wasn’t as bad as moving his head, but it didn’t feel great. “Don’t cry.”  
  


She wiped at her eyes and smiled even harder. Gemma moved beside Anne, an oddly grim expression on her normally-amused face. “You scared us, Harry. A fucking lot.”

“Gemma.” Anne chastised her half-heartedly. Her hand grasped Harry’s tightly. “You hit your head, Harry. Do you remember that?”

Harry closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. The pounding in his head was growing worse. The more he fought through the memories, the harder it pulsed. “Um, I – I don’t.”

“You went to see Louis,” Gemma said, eyes running over his body carefully. Harry glanced over himself to see he was in a hospital gown and bed. They were in a hospital. He really thought he’d recall hitting his head. “Harry, if you got hurt, why didn’t Louis or someone take you to the hospital? Why did you fucking drive with such a head injury?”

Anne sent Gemma a soft frown. “Don’t scold him right now, Gemma. We just want to know what happened, darling. We’ve called Louis and his parents, but we’d like to hear it from you before they arrive.”

Harry groaned. He didn’t know much, but he knew that wasn’t a good thing to do. He ran over what he recalled and frowned. “All I remember is, um…Louis woke me up. I was on the floor somewhere, I think. He said I had to go. His grandfather was coming or something. So I left.” With a pause, he looked searchingly to his mum and sister. “What was I doing there in the first place?”

Looking quite miffed, Anne crossed her arms over her chest. “Based on the cum-stained shirt you were wearing, having sex.”

Harry didn’t know what was more upsetting; that his mum knew he’d had sex or that he couldn’t remember it at all. Flinging an arm over his eyes, Harry felt the urge to cry. Exhaustion and frustration hit him all at once.

“It’s alright, Harry. I’m not – well, I’m a little upset, but-,”

“I’m tired,” Harry said, stretching his neck out and burying down into the pillow with clenched eyes. He didn’t want to face his mum with that knowledge. Not remembering sex with Louis – only their second time – felt like the sleaziest thing he could do. He had no idea why he couldn’t remember either.

“Get some rest, Haz,” Gemma said, patting his shoulder as she pulled the covers up to his chest. Despite the pounding in his head, Harry didn’t find it difficult to fall asleep again.

. . .

A body fell on top of Harry’s as sobs escaped it. Still groggy, Harry couldn’t bring himself to wake up immediately. It felt like there was a heavy anchor attached to his head, dragging him into the darkness with a strength he could never fight against. Instead of waking fully, he focused on the sounds that pierced through his skull.

“-all my fault. I’m so sorry, Haz. Please, please be okay, Harry. You have to be okay.” Louis’ voice was distant but unmistakable. Harry wanted to open his eyes and tell him he was okay, but he couldn’t no matter how hard he tried. “Is he going to be okay? Please…”

“What is going on here, Louis?” Jay squawked. “Men don’t cry over their sister’s boyfriend. Get off him right now.”

Anne cleared her throat, speaking with a detached voice Harry hardly heard from her before. “Harry hit his head badly. He has a concussion, and they’re keeping him under observation for a suspected brain bleed. Which would be repaired with medication or, worse case scenario, surgery.”

Louis let out a whimper of fear. Harry wanted to comfort him. He managed to blink awake, but it took all the energy left in him. “Lou,” he whispered as he took in the distraught man lying over him.

“Haz.” Louis gasped, throwing his arms around his neck and pressing his lips to his cheeks. Tears fell from his face to Harry’s cheeks, but he didn’t mind. “You’re gonna be fine, baby, alrigh'? Just fine.”

Harry only managed a small sound of affirmation. He wanted to say more, but then Louis was pulled away from him. “Louis William Tomlinson. Get your act together,” Jay said in disgusted voice. “You’re acting like a child.”

Harry tried so hard to focus on the scene unfolding before him. Mark jerked Louis back in line with him, Lottie, and Jay. Gemma stepped forward with a glare. “He has a right to be concerned. They’re close.”

“Not that close. I would expect this from his girlfriend,” Mark laughed with scorn, shaking Louis’ shoulders. “Are you his girlfriend, Louis, or is it Lottie?”

Harry prepared his heart for the drop of disappointment he felt every time Louis had to lie about their relationship. He almost closed his eyes, not wanting to watch such a disappointing scene. The darkness was tugging on him heavily now. He knew how this would end. There was no point in fighting to stay awake for this.

“Jay, take Louis to the car. Let Lottie say goodbye, and then we’re leaving.” Mark snarled with a hatred Harry had never seen before. His face had shifted from one of mocking to one of chilling anger.

  
“No!”

Louis jerked out of Mark’s hold. His eyes were filled nearly full with a rage unbeknownst to Louis. The smallest part of his eyes that did not hold contempt was filled with crushing disappointment and desperation, and that part would never be healed.

“No. I’m staying.”

“Why the bloody hell would you-?”

“Because I love him!” Louis shouted, hands latching on to the foot of the bed. All around the room, gasps erupted. Harry’s own heart jumped painfully. He was torn between elation and guilt. This was everything to Harry, and it was the end of everything to Louis. He hated it, and he craved it all at once, and it made his head pulsate.

“Louis, don’t do this,” Lottie said, swallowing deep in her throat. “He’s joking. He’s protecting me b-because Harry had snuck over. It’s my fault, and he’s trying to-,”

“Stop it, Lottie. Stop covering me arse and give Niall a real chance” Louis said, fists clenching. He straightened up and looked angrily at his parents. “I’m in love with Harry. I – I’m gay.”

Jay stepped forward and slapped Louis across the face. Anger surged inside Harry, and in a burst of energy, Harry pushed himself upright. “Don’t touch him,” he said, trying to reach out to Louis, but Mark yanked him away, and Harry fell roughly back to the bed.

“Harry!” Gemma gasped, rushing to his side. Her hands were cold, but it calmed his head that was now dragging him back into the darkness faster than before.

“We’re done here. You will never speak of such a sin again, son. It is a disgusting disgrace to God, and that will not be tolerated in this family,” Mark said with a snarl fit for a blood-thirsty snarl.

Anne stood up with a stormy expression in her eyes. She cleared her throat and spoke in carefully thought out words. “You cannot change who your children are, and because of the fear you’ve instilled in them, my son nearly killed himself hiding away from your homophobic parenting. It is despicable to be so cold and heartless, and now my sweet Harry is paying the price for it. If you want to call something disgusting, that would be it.”

Jay’s mouth dropped open as she shoved a regretful-looking Lottie out the door. “He will pay an even worse price in Hell! We can and will change this, too!”

Louis paled, and in that time, Mark grasped his arm tightly and pulled him toward the door. What they would do to him was a terrifying thought. Instantly Harry thought of conversation camp or electro therapy. Desperation surged within Harry, and he tried to lunge forward, tried to help him, but his body didn’t move. Instead, his eyes fell shut to the sight of Louis being dragged away in tears.

“Harry? Call the doctor!”

. . .

Harry didn’t know how much time had passed when he woke up next. The moon was shining through the window, brightening the room with a soft enough light that it didn’t hurt his eyes like the one seeping in through the hallway. It was the same room, but Harry was alone this time. It only took five minutes of trying to sort out his thoughts for someone to enter the room.

“You’re awake! That’s great,” said a nurse as he entered. “How are you feeling?”

Harry rubbed at his eye, watching as the guy wrote things down on his chart. “My head hurts.”

He nodded and stood at the foot of the bed. His nametag read ‘James.’ “Well I’d expect it to! You hit your head pretty hard, didn’t ya?” Harry could only offer a shrug. James smacked himself on the head with a flustered smile. “Right. Concussion and brain bleed. Duh. The doctor will be in shortly to examine you.”

“Did you say brain bleed?” Harry asked, voice rising in alarm. James waved a hand flippantly, smile never wavering.

“Yes. Very minor. Easily treated with medication, but that is why we’ve kept you here longer. The doctor will check you out for any lasting effects, but I’d say you’re off to a good start,” Jam'es leaned forward and pinched Harry’s cheeks, making him jerk back. “Your family was sent home at the end of visiting hours, but they said they’d be back in the morning.

Harry nodded, eyes moving around the room as he tried not to let his mind get away from him. His memory was spotty, but there was no forgetting what happened last time he was awake. He tried to fight off tears, but he was an emotional person, and it was Louis. It was Louis that he was in love with and never told. It was Louis that could be on his way to a conversation therapy camp right now. It was Louis that he may never see again.

“You know, your boyfriend was really brave. Even if it didn’t work in his favor, he stood up to his retched parents. Kid’s got balls,” James said, smile fading away. Even in the short time in Harry’s presence, he could tell that was a rare thing to happen.

“Not a kid,” Harry muttered, pushing himself up. “But yeah. He does.”

The doctor came in hours later. He reviewed the scans before and after the bleed, and he did a long neurological checkup that resulted in normal. Apparently, he’d been asleep for three days. Only two of them were induced by medication to give his brain time to heal in case it had taken any damage.

Harry forced himself to get a few more hours of sleep through the night, but he was still up before the sun. His phone was nowhere to be found, so he was thoroughly bored by the time visitors were allowed. He waited patiently for his family to come, but his doctor beat him to it. After the same neurological checkup came back clear, he was free to go once his mum came to pick him up.

Harry should have been excited to leave, but he didn’t have much to look forward to. There wasn’t anything to be done to improve the situation at hand, he supposed. There was no way Louis would be allowed to see him again with his parent’s closed-minded ways. There likely was no way to even see if Louis was okay.

“Cheer up, buddy.” James walked through the door with a pile of papers. “You’re getting out of here with no neurological deficits. Most brain injury victims have it way worse.”

Harry sat up with a grim smile. “Sorry. I’m just really worried about my boyfriend,” Harry said, voice clogging as he vocalized the terrible thoughts. James’ tutted and tugged on one of his curls. “His parents are…dangerous, honestly.”

“I’ve seen the type.” James handed Harry the discharge forms. Harry signed them and gave him an incredulous look. James began laughing. His green scrubs moved with his heavy body as he did so, but he just cradled his gut with affection. “Most come in, have a row, and take their kid home, though, so this was much better. The entire floor has been raving about it. Good shit.”

That was exactly what happened. Harry began to ask what he meant. There was nothing good about anything in this scenario. Before he could ask, Anne appeared at the doorway with another nurse and a wheelchair. She had an excited, happy smile despite the blue circles under her eyes.

“Oh, you look so much better, darling!” Anne said, rushing to his side and pulling him into her arms. “I brought you new clothes, but I forgot your phone. Sorry, love.”

Harry felt his stomach twist, but it wasn’t his mum’s fault. He never should have hidden so poorly in the first place, assuming that was what he was actually doing. He wished he could talk to Louis just to place together what happened. He wished he could ask him if he was okay. That was Louis’ worst fears, and they all came true in one night.

“Thank you, Mum.”

Anne had a slight frown, and Harry was sure he caused it. Regardless, he climbed out of bed and dressed himself in the bathroom slowly. They insisted on rolling him out in a wheelchair to her car.

“I’m so relieved you’re okay, Harry,” Anne said as they pulled onto the road. He reached over and held her hand momentarily, but he couldn’t force a true smile to his face. Her eyes turned down slightly. “So. What all do you remember?”

Harry pursed his lips, wishing he didn’t have to answer but knowing he needed to. “I remember Gemma arriving home for the weekend. We hung out for a bit upstairs…and then I woke up in Louis’ closet. I sort of remember getting to the hospital. Then, um, I woke up when Louis and his family came and fought and -,”

Harry cut himself off, coughing to keep himself from tearing up. Anne looked worriedly at him. “Are you okay, darling?” Harry nodded, but he didn’t want to speak anymore. He squeezed her hand again and pulled his legs up to his chest. The pinched expression didn’t change, but Anne spoke with an upbeat tone anyways. “So. You lied to me and snuck off to see Louis for inappropriate activities.”

Harry blushed, smiling lightly in her direction. “In my defense, I don’t remember why I did it.”

Anne raised one eyebrow expertly. She could not be fooled. “We both know generally why you did it.”

Harry snorted, imagining just what happened to persuade him to do such a risky thing. He wished he could take it back. He’d do anything to take back the entire night for Louis’ sake. “Guess so…”

As Anne pulled into the driveway, she heaved a tired sigh. “I want to apologize. I should have been more lenient about the door policies. I’ve always been a fan of the ‘if you’re going to do it, do it somewhere safe’ policy, and I shouldn’t have excluded sex from that. I’m so sorry, Harry, and so grateful you’re okay.”

Harry reached over the console and hugged her tightly. “It’s not your fault, Mum. I shouldn’t have gone behind your back.” That was all he could say because he wasn’t sure if he was okay, not emotionally. He’d just been stripped of the man he’d quickly grown attached to. It would be a long time before he could be okay with that.

Anne pulled back and smiled brightly, patting his cheeks. There was excitement in her eyes suddenly, the kind that Harry was not prepared for. “Just for future reference, I’ve lifted that rule. You’re an adult now anyhow.”

Harry sucked in a sharp breath of air, looking at his mum as if she’d stabbed him in the gut. “Mum, please. I’m not just going to – to _replace_ Louis like a pair of shoes.”

Anne held a hand to her chest, mouth dropping open in faux offense. “I’d never replace a treasured pair of shoes!”

Harry rolled his eyes. “I have six months before uni. I don’t think that rule will be an issue anymore.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure…”

Harry huffed, climbing out of the car and following her inside. “Did you hear anything from Louis?”

Anne paused as she unlocked the door, glancing at him with uplifted lips. “Not much.”

“Not much?” Harry repeated skeptically. “What does that mean? Did you talk to him?”

“Here and there.”

“Mum, why are you being so vague?” Harry grumbled more than asked, pushing past her to make his way to his room. He didn’t feel like being toyed with, and normally his mum didn’t do that, so it was really grating at him. Of all people, she should have known how much losing Louis hurt him.

“I’m just trying to help, love.”

Harry snapped, fists clenched as he shouted over his shoulder. “The _only_ way to help me is to stop reminding me of him. I loved him, Mum, and now I’ll never get to see him again, so please-,”

“Oi! Don’t use past tense. I’m not dead, am I?”

His heart stopped. It was his favorite voice that he thought he’d never hear again. The sound hit his body in painfully pulsating waves that rebooted his body. Harry spun around to find Louis sitting on the counter, swinging his legs idly as he smirked at him. He looked beautiful and carefree, a look so rarely seen on him that it was almost sacred. His defined cheekbones were pushed high as he struggled to hold back the perfect smile that Harry adored. His eyes were as radiant as sea mist.

“Lou.” Harry breathed in awe, body frozen as he stared at Louis, trying to make sure he was actually there. “Louis…”

“Hey, Haz.”

Just as Louis hopped off the counter, Harry rushed forward. They collided in a heavy fit of arms and legs, sending them both back against the counter. Louis grunted, but he didn’t make a move to push them off it anytime soon. Instead, he tightened his arms around Harry’s shoulders and let Harry squeeze the life out of his waist.

“God, Lou, I was so worried,” Harry said, words barely understandable due to his face being buried under Louis’ thick jumper. Harry was prepared to keep Louis wrapped tightly in his arms all day. Then, a terrible thought hit him, and he pushed away so he could look Louis over. “You’re not here to say goodbye, are you?”

Louis rolled his eyes. “No, Harry. I’m here to stay. Quite literally, actually!”

“What do you mean?”

Anne let out a soft chuckle. It was only then that Harry realized his mum was still there. He was suddenly grateful he didn’t act on his animalistic instinct to pin Louis against the wall and wreck him there until everyone could see he was his.

“Well, go on, Louis. Tell him,” Anne said. Clearly, she’d been in on this the whole time. Harry grew a rueful smile thinking back on her purposefully vague answers. That was quite rude of her, come to think of it.

“I won’t forgive you for letting me be sad the entire ride home, Mum,” Harry said, yanking on the back of Louis’ shirt to pull him against his chest. Harry sat on the stool, letting Louis lean into his chest partially. This felt safe and secure. Tucking his chin on Louis’ shoulder, Harry felt he could better protect him from his horrid parents.

“Hush, Harry. You will when she tells you what she’s doing for me,” Louis said, elbowing him in the gut softly. His hands settled on top of Harry’s, making them both smile. Harry wanted this forever. With a big sigh, Louis turned his body sideways so he could look at Harry as he spoke, eyes shifting in an anxious way. “So when you were out, my parents dragged me into the hallway – they tried to take me home, but I reminded them I was officially an adult and would call the police on them. I said the same thing when they brought up conversion ‘therapy’ camp,” Louis said with a snort. It was mostly lighthearted, but there was a weight in the air that let it be anything but that. “We had a right row, I’ll tell you that. Got me a nice shiner on me cheek in the end thanks to Dad. Gone now, though. Ultimately, I had to either go to that ‘camp’ or move out. So I said I’d get my things the next day and went back to your bed. And then – well, you tell him the rest, Anne.”

Anne smiled gratefully at the pair, and she spoke with a soft, pleased tone that meant she was just as content with what she was saying as they’d be. “I asked Louis what his plans were for living on his own, and he looked at me and laughed. He had no plans at all.”

“It was completely impulsive on my part,” Louis said with a sheepish grin.

“After they stabilized you, Harry, I told Louis he could stay here until he found somewhere to live. Then, Gemma reminded me that you’d both likely be moving cities in a few months, so I decided Louis can simply live here until then.”

Harry’s jaw dropped. He couldn’t decide who to look at. “Seriously?” Anne nodded. “Thank you, Mum. I – you’re the best.”

“She is,” Louis said, reaching for her hand and patting it gratefully. “I really appreciate this, Anne. And if you need me to pay rent-,”

“Nonsense,” Anne said with a firm tone and a scowl on her face, as if they’d already had this conversation before. “This is the least I can offer you.”

Harry pressed a firm kiss to Louis’ cheek, savoring the softness of them. He looked pleadingly at his mum. “Can he stay in my room?”

Red singed her cheeks, and she diverted her eyes from the couple. “Only because you nearly died the last time I tried to maintain abstinence here.” Harry let out a honking laugh, but Louis scowled, tightening his grip around Harry’s waist. “And on the condition you use this time to see if you two really are fit to live together. I don’t want you both running off to share a flat next year only to end up nearly killing the other weeks into the lease.”

Harry scoffed. “Mum, I already nearly kill Louis on a daily basis. You know he makes me carry him up and down the stairs at school, right?”

Louis whined, looking up at him with a pouty expression. His lips never looked so tempting to taste before. “I need to save me energy for practise after classes, Haz.”

“Sureee.”

Anne laughed, walking around the counter and pulling them both in for kisses to their heads. “Alright. I’m glad that’s settled. Harry, you need to get some rest.”

“Nap time!” Louis said, jumping out of his arms excitedly. He caught Anne’s dubious expression and raised his hands. “Honestly, Anne. I swear.”

“The doctor said no vigorous activities for a few days. Even after that, please be respectful of the fact that I live here and can hear loud noises, too.”

Harry slapped a hand to his forehead. “Obviously, Mum. Thank youuuu.”

Louis laughed as he pulled Harry to his feet. They both kissed Anne on the cheek in passing. “I’m making Harry’s favorite for dinner. Be decent!”

Harry shook his head as he slowly made his way to his room. “That joke is going to get old,” he said. Louis laughed and dug his fingers into Harry’s sides, pushing him forward. Harry’s room looked drastically different than he last left it. There was a giant pile of clothes to the left of his bed that reached the top of it, making it seem as if the bed was much bigger than it actually was. There were also dirty clothes strewn across the floor. The only spot left untouched was his desk, though there was a seemingly untouched backpack resting at the floor. “See, this is what I expected your room to look like.”

Louis ran a hand through his hair as he laughed. “Sorry. I guess I got carried away without me parents making me clean up.”

Harry fell back on the bed with a yawn. “I enjoy cleaning.”

“Really?” Louis chirped, climbing up beside Harry, who nodded tiredly. Louis’ hand brushed through Harry’s curls, making his eyes flutter shut. “Sleepy, babe?”

Harry curled himself around Louis’ waist, nuzzling into his hip as he mumbled. “A little.”

Louis hummed, nails just barely running over his scalp. It was so soothing Harry was quickly fighting to stay awake. “The doctor said that would happen.”

“You were there?” Harry asked, rubbing at his eyes as he peered up at Louis. He looked like a calm, peaceful angel, but Harry knew that wasn’t exactly the case.

“The whole time,” Louis said with a softness in his voice. It was the middle of the day, but it suddenly felt like midnight. “Except when they kicked us all out at night. That was when I got my stuff.”

A shiver ran through Harry, making him sit up suddenly as he remembered the details he overheard of the fight. Louis began to protest, but Harry pulled him back onto his chest. It felt like an eternity since Harry got the chance to hold Louis so securely against his body.

Louis smiled ruefully at him, finger tapping against his nose. “Sleep, Haz.”

“Talk, Lou,” Harry said, running a finger over his left cheekbone. There was a hint of shimmer dusting his skin. It was only then that the pink of his lips and darkened lashes stood out. He was wearing make-up, and he looked amazing. “You look breath-taking.”

“Considering you nearly stopped breathing, that sentiment is not my favorite.” Louis rolled his eyes, but the fondness faded away the longer the blue washed over Harry. Louis’ hand rested over Harry’s. “I’m sorry, Harry. If you had died, I never could have forgiven myself. You deserved better than to be shoved into my closet.”

Harry’s heart leaped at the regret in his expression, like this could haunt him forever. “It wasn’t your fault-,”

“Harry, don’t try to comfort-,”

“Seriously,” Harry said, frowning hard enough to get Louis to shut up. That wasn’t an easy task. “Look, the closet wasn’t fun, but I understood why you had to. I can’t imagine what it was like growing up with your parents, so I know you did what you had to in the best way you could to survive.”

Louis scoffed. “You act like I’m an abuse victim.”

Harry shrugged. “Aren’t you?” His face dropped in offense, so Harry smoothed his hand over his thigh slowly. “Your parents neglected to give you love. Same way as my father neglected to be around. _Emotional_ abuse still creates trauma. Better to admit it so we can look out for how it affects us.”

Louis sighed, like he was impatient for something. He shifted, pressing back further into Harry’s stomach. He didn’t mind. It was just another reminder that he was here and not being dragged away from him. “Alright then. What’s your trauma, Curly?”

Harry pursed his lips, eyes jumping between Louis’. He was getting really tired, but even in this state, he could tell they both needed this conversation. “My dad left me, yeah? Because I wasn’t good enough for him – um, that’s what it feels like sometimes – so I don’t really put myself out there that much because I feel like nobody wants to actually be around me.”

Louis eyes fell slowly, letting Harry watch every micro expression that transfixed his features. His dainty hands moved into his curls, carefully avoiding the white bandages wrapped around his head crookedly. “I get what you mean now,” Louis said in a whisper. He inched closer, and Harry curled his legs around Louis’. His heat matched the bright light he always held in Harry’s life. “Just so you know, you’re more than enough for me. More than I ever imagined a boyfriend could be.”

Harry blushed, eyes falling to stare at his crumpled comforter instead of being brave enough to face Louis as he mumbled. “See, that trauma part of me would argue that you have to say that because you live here now.”

Louis barked out in laughter, and then he was forcing Harry’s head up and nuzzling into his neck. “I was never going to let them take me, you know. Didn’t know it ‘til then, but once I was out, it sort of cut all ties to them from both sides,” Louis said, eyes glinting with mirth. It made Harry smile widely, eager to see just what else Louis could tease him about. “I could have lived with Zayn. He has his own place and always wants help on rent. So I could have lived there. Still can if you don’t want me here – we never did get the chance to ask you-,”

“I want you here!” Harry blurted, blushing as he listened to how eager he sounded. Louis grinned, darting forward and kissing him slowly. Harry was startled, barely getting the chance to take in the sparks that electrified his body. Louis licked his lip briefly, tongue hot and sure, just to be a tease, and pulled back with a grin.  
  


“Good.” Louis stuck his tongue out at him cheekily. He was adorable. “I just – I almost lost you. It was terrifying. Thinking about a world without you was horrible. I love you, Harry. Could never lose you.”  
  


Harry wrapped his arms around Louis, embracing him with all his strength because he never wanted to let him go. He smelled like vanilla, and it was addicting.

“I love you, too, Louis.”

Harry kissed his neck lightly, but it caused Louis to roll his body into his slightly, and that was enough to encourage Harry to really kiss his throat. Before, he was always cautious about marking up this area of his skin for fear of his parents seeing them. Now, Harry sucked hard on his skin, giving him a lovebite so large it made up for all his missed opportunities.

A longing moan slipped out of Louis’ mouth. It was such a tempting sound, encouraging Harry to flip Louis onto his back and hover over him, peppering his neck with more lovebites. Louis dragged his lips to his own after some time of squirming beneath him. They kissed each other like their lives depended on it. Both of their minds couldn’t stray from vivid thoughts of never getting to see the other again. It was enough to have Harry licking into Louis’ mouth and chasing his tongue endlessly. His head was spinning for multiple reasons now.

Suddenly, Louis gasped and jerked away. “None of that, Haz. You need rest.” He was panting, blue eyes wide as he took in Harry’s body on top of his own. In a swift movement, Louis shoved Harry onto his side and curled himself around his back. “Fuck. You reminded me of how good you fucked me the other night. Now that we’re through the bad, I’d say it was definitely worth it.” Harry pouted and twisted around. Louis pecked his protruded lip with a smirk. “What, love?”

“I don’t remember it.” Louis’ face dropped as if Harry had just called off sex for a year. It certainly felt like it. Harry slotted their legs together, eyes filling with mischief. “Tell me about it?”

Louis smirked, hand running up his side. His fingers slipped into his curls and pulled Harry over to rest his head on his chest. His heartbeat was steady and sure. It was soothing enough to push Harry toward sleep despite their conversation being about sex.

“It was mind-blowing, Haz. You did so many things to me I’m not sure what part was my favorite. Alright, I’ll start from the beginning as long as you fall asleep at some point. Well, first, you need to read our texts. You have quite the dirty mouth, darling. It’s fucking hot. You started talking about spanking me, and that led…”  
  


Harry felt his eyes drooping by the time Louis got around to the part about him crying, but it was alright. They’d have plenty of time to reenact it in the future. Harry fell asleep with the world beneath him, a smile stitched permanently to his face, and Louis’ hands combing through his curls.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave me feedback! I want to know what you thought of it/where it's going/ anything! I will have the final two parts up soon! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!


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